Radical Obedience & an "Uber" MIRACLE

I STILL can't believe this happened.  It is one of the most outrageous miracles that I've ever experienced.  There's NO explanation outside of God Almighty moving in a miraculous way.

It happened several years ago (2018), so I've had a chance to process a bit.  My educational background is in engineering so I tend to be a logical problem solver type of thinker.  I've approached this experience from every angle I can think of...nothing from the purely human realm makes sense.  Like...not even a little.  

The very first part of this story starts strangely.  I was as a business convention in NOLA.  I was alone (my husband would normally come with me, but he couldn't make it).  I was stressed.  I was in a bit of pain after having recent surgery.  All in all, it was just feeling like this trip was a terrible idea.

And it was HOT.  It was all-the-windows-are-covered-in-condensation hot.  Sticky humidity felt absolutely suffocating.  I am my most grumpy in heat and humidity lol!

One afternoon I was meeting with some friends at their Air BnB.  I vividly remember sitting in the blissfully air-conditioned lobby of my hotel and pulling up the Uber app on my phone to get a ride to their place.

I'd done this a million times before, and I was about to click the "request car" button, when I sensed the Holy Spirit say "order the XL car".  I paused while my finger hovered over the button and while logic and reason spun through my brain.  I'm traveling alone.  I have one purse.  I don't need an XL.  Why would I spend more on the XL ride?  

I was about to click the button, when "order the XL car" rang in my spirit again.

What the heck?  Why would God care which size of a car I would ride in?

I had a thought that maybe I was about to be in a car accident and He was positioning me for protection in a bigger car?

My logical (and frugal) brain was grumpy...but I was certain that I heard correctly.  

I clicked the "order XL" button and waited for my driver.

Aaaand...let the embarrassment begin haha

My driver pulled up in his big SUV, and it was clear that he was expecting a crowd because he hustled around the vehicle to open all the doors and the back hatch for a load of bags.

I walked up holding my little handbag and said hello.

He smiled, said hello, and looked around for the rest of the passengers.

"It's just me", I said.

There was an awkward pause...a "pregnant pause" some might call it...as he looked at me and must have been thinking "this woman is not from around here".  He might also have been thinking I was wasting his time.

He walked around the car and closed all doors but one.  I sheepishly climbed in, and the small talk began.  

I was tense.  Not only do I *detest* small talk, but I found myself braced for some sort of crash that God was surely protecting me from.  

The journey to my friends' place seemed to take forever.  I eventually settled in and relaxed.  We chatted about the weather, the conference I was in town for, and about his journey as an Uber driver.  It turned into a friendly and enjoyable drive.

Alright - that's the setup.  It was important to share because it felt sort of mysterious.  Why would God want me to spend extra money on an XL car that I didn't need?  

You're about to find out.

First - I want you to consider some odds.  I want you to REALLY grasp the magnitude and impossibility of this happening.

• How many various sounds do you suppose can come from the human mouth?  Consider all the world’s languages, dialects, and  intonations. Thousands?  Millions?  Billions?  I think we can agree on a LOT.

• If someone began to just let their mouth go…making random babbling sounds that mean nothing to the speaker…what do you think the odds are that legible words would come from that person’s mouth, just by sheer chance or luck?  Pretty slim, right?  But, not impossible considering all the options available in all of human language over time.  The speaker might land on a few sounds that are very similar to a word, or maybe even an actual word.  Especially when you consider very simple words like “a” or “the” or “and” and all the translations into other languages.  Simple words, simple sounds = pretty decent odds that at least one of those simple words could be uttered by accident.

• What about the more complicated words?  They’re maybe longer or more complex, but still, it’s not impossible to think that an actual meaningful word with heavier meaning or implication could be spoken by accident.

• Ok - if that same person who is just randomly uttering sounds - just any sound that rolls off their tongue keeps talking, what are the chances that several words with meaning would be spoken all together.  I’m talking about a short phase or sentence.  Even just a part of a sentence or the beginning of an idea.  Remember, to the speaker, these sounds mean absolutely nothing.  They’re gibberish.  There’s no effort of the speaker’s mind happening here…no trying to “make sense” of the sounds coming out of their mouth.  Think about it — to get words to work together in order - those odds are pretty slim.  It takes a human years to learn how do do that in meaningful ways.  “Mama, book?”  “Milk please” “No, sleep!”  are all phrases common to a toddler learning to speak their mind, and they typically mispronounce simple words for months or years until they get a firmer grasp on the language.

• Next, before we go deeper, let’s consider the background of the speaker.  Basic American education.  Caucasian woman.  College degree in sciences.  Some German language training in high school, but nothing that really stuck.  No worldly travel experience (went to English speaking Canada a few times).  English was the only language spoken while growing up and going to school.  Not exactly a “worldly” or “diverse” background or training.

• Back to the statistics.  Sounds…words…meaningful phrases.  Still with me?  Our odds are getting slimmer by the minute.  

• Ok, so our speaker is just babbling away.  No meaning to the speaker at all.  Truth be told, this woman is feeling slightly crazy!  What do you suppose the odds would be for this babbling to be not only words, but meaningful words…meaningful worlds that are occurring in order to create meaningful phrases…meaningful phrases that are a coherent and applicable response to a conversation with someone else.  Think about that.  If someone asked you a question in a language you DON’T know…let’s say Japanese…what are the odd that you could randomly babble your way to a logical and meaningful answer to their question?  In ANY language?  Even MORE slim, right?  The odds are getting pretty crazy that something like this could happen.

• Ok, not say your meaningful answer to their question is in that person’s native language of Japanese??  Ridiculous to even consider, right?  

sounds into words

words into phrases

phrases that are a meaningful response (context)

meaningful response in the proper language to the listener

It would be like a 2 month old baby making random noises with their mouth only to "accidentally" make sounds that turn into saying "Hi mom, I'm feeling a bit hungry now.  Would you feed me please?"

Right?  It DOESN'T happen.  

If this happened, you’d say it’s a MIRACLE, right?  If you’re like me, you’d begin to think “how did this happen outside of some move of an intelligent God?”  The odds of it happening by “chance” are just too astronomical to even comprehend.  

Well buckle up, friend.  

I am that speaker.  

This happened to me. 

The short story is this:

I was riding in that XL Uber I told you about.  The driver and I chatted in a friendly way as he drove me to my destination about 30 minutes away.  As he dropped me off, he said “good luck!” (the area he was dropping me in seemed a bit scary haha). I responded without thinking (and rather embarrassingly) “I don’t need luck, I’ve got Jesus”….honestly, how cheesy is that?  I’d never said such a dorky thing, and I was instantly surprised by my words and my cheeks flushed with embarrassment!

As I walked to the building, he rolled down his window and said, “Wait!  Did you say you know Jesus?  Will you come back and tell me about this Jesus?”

I was floored!  I walked back and got in the car to talk to the man.

He asked me what I knew about Jesus, so I gave him the 30 second Gospel message.  He proceeded to tell me that I was wrong, and about how many Christians he’d converted to Islam over the years. He was quite the Muslim apologetics expert!  He didn’t actually want to know about Jesus from me…he wanted to convert me to Islam.

We were disagreeing wholeheartedly, but it was very friendly and loving.  We eventually agreed to disagree.  

Before I left, I felt a prompting to find a way to stay in touch with him so I asked him if I could get his cell phone number so we could stay in touch - believe me, I’d NEVER done that before!  He agreed, with the caveat that he’d never shared his personal cell with a customer.  We were both feeling strange about it, but agreed to stay in touch.

The next morning, I was awakened with a clear message from the Holy Spirit: “Daiquiri, share your prayer language with him”

I was appalled.

APPALLED

My prayer language/“praying in tongues” was a very delicate and new thing for me.  Not to mention exceedingly private.  I hadn’t shared it with ANYONE, and frankly, I was thinking of giving up on it because I though for sure that I was just making it up. 

I was especially frustrated that since I’d begun praying in tongues, the SAME sounds kept coming out of my mouth on repeat.  I thought for SURE that I was just all in my head with it, and it was nothing but gibberish.  Like a meaningless tune that I couldn’t get out of my head, but that didn’t have any actual words or meaning. 

So yeah…to share with a random Uber driver?  I was horrified by the idea!

I said an absolute and immediate "NO WAY" to that prompt, but He would just not leave me alone about it.  I'd love to say that I trusted His voice and obeyed, but the truth is that I knew this prompt would not leave my mind at peace until I obeyed.

So, after about 30 minutes of fruitless negotiations with God to send someone else on this assignment, I obeyed.  And do you know what happened?

The random sounds that came out of my mouth made actual words.

Meaningful words.

Stitched into a meaningful phrase.

A phrase in the Uber driver’s primary language.

And not just any phrase, a prayer to God Almighty, no less.

Now you tell me…WHAT ARE THE ODDS?

God is real, friends.  

God is alive.

God did NOT stop speaking once the Bible was written.  

He did not stop moving through His people.

He even used a midwestern housewife and mom to grab the heart of a die-hard Muslim.
God is alive and moving and working to capture hearts, and His gospel is still sometimes delivered with the backing of miracles that no one can explain unless coming to the conclusion that God is real and the Gospel of Jesus is Truth.

Be encouraged, brothers and sisters - believe for big things from our living God - and keep spreading the Word!  

And take it from me...be RADICALLY OBEDIENT.  It seems that the most outrageous marching orders tend to result in the most miraculous outcomes.

Personally, I think God loves to set us up for miracles.  He loves to "show off"...not in a braggadocios way (although He's certainly the only One with a right to do so)...but in a "I'm here, I'm working, I love you" kind of way.  Maybe it's less of "showing off" that He's so good at...and more of SHOWING UP.  

He wants us to know it's HIM.

And friend, if you have doubt about God and the Gospel of Jesus…please get alone and do your best to talk to God.  Your prayer can be utterly weak and ugly…just make it REAL.  He stands at the door of your heart and knocks - let Him in!  He is trustworthy and so very good. 

* You can see a bit of our text conversation below in the screenshots I saved.  

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Possibly the Best Photo I've Ever Taken

Sure, it's a tad blurry...but I think the full emotion going on is pretty well captured ;-)

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Family Pic

We enjoyed our annual trip to my parents' lakeside cottage a couple of weeks ago -- what a breath of fresh and relaxation that was!  More fun pic to follow...

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Updates

For those of you who missed photos of Thomas' birthday party, I finally have them up.  I back-dated the post to keep things in chronological order, so it's buried.  You can find the post HERE.

I'm headed to the airport bright and early tomorrow morning (actually, it will be so early, it won't be bright yet!).  Going to Wisconsin to be close to my Mom for her surgery and to help as much as she'll let me afterwards.  Please pray for her.

The house will be on the market by the time I get back (actually, it's going on the market THIS WEEKEND!) - I'm so excited!  My first order of business after returning home is to take some awesome "after" pictures to compare to the "before" pictures that are on the blog.  Wanna see the before shots?  Click HERE.

Okay...I'm off to heat up a can of Spaghettios for my little ones, then give them a nice warm bath.  I also need to sew the face on a jack-o-lantern costume (we're totally buying costumes next year) and pack.

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Hey Hey, Ha Ha & Hoo Hoo

Isn't this the sweetest picture of my baby and my Dad?  Dad was helping Thomas pull the string on the little poppers the kids enjoyed on the 4th of July.  I love the looks on both their faces!

By the way - Thomas Robert is named after his Papa.  I hope he grows to be as good a man as my Dad.

Thomas has been talking more and more lately.  He was very slow to get started, but he's really taking off now.  It's so fun to know a bit more about what's going on in his sweet little head...like lots of "NO", "MINE", and "ME DO".  The kid knows what he likes.

My favorite expression so far is "You ooo, Mama."  I had snuggled up to him and was nuzzling his soft little neck, and I whispered "I love you Thomas.  Mama loves you so much."  And his response..."You ooo, Mama" almost brought me to tears.  "You love me too?"  "Yeah", with a big squeeze around the neck and a puckered kiss on the cheek.

This mama job is tough...but so wonderful.

He's also assigned some fun names to his little lovies.  It started with a stuffed monkey.  He'd curl his arm and hand over his head and say "Ha Ha Ha" like a monkey does.  Eventually, the monkey just became "Ha Ha."

Then he took kindly to a pillow with a picture of a train on it.  Since he likes to name things by the sound they make, the train pillow became his "Hoo Hoo".

And then, the mystery name.  Or maybe Thomas just likes the letter H, I don't know.  But a little stuffed Bob the Builder doll?  You guessed it, "Hey Hey".  Don't ask me.

So bed time around her is interesting for my little boy.  He gets all tucked in, but not before he has his whole crew of snugglies.

"Hey Hey!"
"Ha Ha!"
"Hoo Hoo!"
"Night Night."

Now that he's tucked in for his afternoon nap (which we've started up again since no name = monster boy), I'm off to dump some toxic poison on my backyard.  My little Thomas was playing in the grass, and walked through some clover.  Bees love clover.  Bees don't like getting stepped on much...no matter how soft and squishy and tender the foot is.  Thomas got stung, and this mama bear is going to do something about it.  I might kill the clover.  I might kill some bees.  I don't know...but somethin' is gonna pay! ;-)

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Vacation Over-Load (in a good way)

Well, we're back from vacation...but not really.  Luke's older brother and his family arrived last week, and his younger brother and his family arrive today.  We have a full and crazy (and FUN) house!

I keep thinking that I'm going to sit down and do a giganto blog post to share our Wisconsin vacation photos, but it doesn't seem to be happening.  You'll have to settle for one or two here and there as I get a chance.

This picture was taken by my Dad when we were out shooting off fireworks with the kiddos.

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I Mean Really, How Much Cuter Can They Come?

This is my little Samantha Ruth.  Her amazing smile was what beamed back at me every time I looked at her last week - she was in heaven at Yaya & Papa's cottage.  She walked around with dripping braids, a bright yellow life jacket, and bucket full of snails for days on end.

There are few things better in my life than seeing my kids truly and deeply happy.

May it always be so.

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Summer

Isn't summer a beautiful season?  The constant pursuit of relaxation and fun...all with purple crocs :-)

We had a wonderful time at my parents' lakeside cottage this year.  The kids ran outside and blew bubbles after a rainstorm one afternoon.  The ground was soaked, so the bubbles settled on the driveway without popping.  It was magical!

Many (many) more Wisconsin photos to follow.  Stay tuned!

The LORD is gracious and compassionate, slow to anger, and rich in love. 

Psalm 145:8

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Home

We just flew into our little Boise airport last evening.  It struck me how COOL 98 degrees can feel when it's closer to 25% humidity (rather than 60 or 70% humidity).  Wisconsin is green for a good reason...water, water, everywhere!  We had a wonderful time playing and relaxing in beautiful Wisconsin.  Man, are we blessed!

Speaking of blessed, I just love how my Lord cares about the most mundane little parts of my life.  We crawled our way through traffic in Milwaukee trying to make it to the airport in time...but we didn't get there until about 20 minutes before takeoff.  Yikes.  We were certain to miss our flight.  As we were inching our way through construction on the highway, I said to the kids, "Now would be a good time to pray, kiddos."  They did.  I did.  And I was suddenly so peaceful!  Traveling with our whole family to try and grab the last flight out?  Peace?  That's a miracle in itself!

We got checked in, but were scattered all over the plane...and it was still questionable as to whether we'd actually make it through security and on the plane in time.

We made it through security and to our gate.  The plane was just getting unloaded from the previous flight - we had enough time for bathroom breaks, a diaper change, and to fill up the water bottles.  Whew!

As we got settled on the plane, we had to ask fellow passengers to switch seats so that all the kids had either Luke or me near them.  Normally, we're met with scowls and answers like "I suppose" as they huff of to their new seat that they feel obligated to take since so many eyes are watching.

But not this time.  This time it was all "What can I do to help?" and "Sure, I'd love to switch"...with smiles and comments about our beautiful children.

I'll tell ya...pray, and sometimes the answer is to be surrounded by angels dressed in business suits.

We had a tight connection to make in Minneapolis.  Our flight was running late...would we miss our connection and end up sleeping in the airport?

As we landed in Minneapolis, the pilot came on and welcomed us to MN and announced that we were on the plane that would be departing for none other than Boise, Idaho!

We let everyone else get off the plane, switched to our assigned seats for the next flight (which were all together), and got off the plane for some potty breaks and dinner.  We even got to leave out bags on the plane - what a relief to not have to schlep them along!

Both flight were smooth, the kids were (mostly) in good spirits, and no one barfed ;-)

We didn't have a ride from the airport to our house, so we decided to take a cab.  I was wondering if we'd have to take two in order to fit our whole family plus our bags.  Burt no...there was a long line of cars....and one lone minivan.  We fit perfectly.

I don't always perceive an immediate response to my prayers, but I sure did yesterday!  It was as if He put his arm around my little family and whispered in my ear, "I've gotcha, my precious little one."

Thank you, Lord.  Thank you for watching out for us and taking such good care. 

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I Am So Ready For Vacation

Not the kind of vacation where Luke goes to work and I wrangle kids all summer long.  I'm talking the kind of vacation that involves a beautiful lake, s'mores, skiing, fishing, and some of my favorite people in the whole wide world.  And trees, lots and lots of trees.  I love trees.

We're headed to Wisconsin this week!  Yahooo!

Sammy wakes up every morning, comes dashing to our bedside, and says "Okay, NOW how many days until we go to Yaya & Papa's???"  The kids talk about little else besides what they want to pack for the airplane ride and how many marshmallows they'll be able to eat.  I'm doing laundry like my life depends on it, and Luke is working insane hours each day so that he can get everything wrapped up before leaving and just relax.

Speaking of packing for the plane, I can't stop thinking about it either.  We've decided that we're simply not going to pay good money to bring luggage on the plane.  So...we're going to pack everything on the plane with us as carry-ons.  {shudder}  I figure this is a good trip to try it on - we'll need little more than shorts, flip flops, and our swimming suits.  Everyone will have a roll-aboard suitcase and a backpack.  I'm simply not thinking about how this can't possibly work for a winter trip to Wisconsin.

If you see us at the airport, I suggest you steer clear.  We'll be the group with 6 people, 12 bags, and 4 extremely excited kids.  One of the kids is finally finding his words, which he enjoys screaming instead of speaking.  His favorite new word is "FLASHLIGHT", of all things.  Ha!  We're the group that you watch come down the aisle toward you on the plane.  As we pass the empty seats surrounding you, you heave a big sigh of relief and a "thank you, Lord".

If we end up sitting by you, I'm sorry.  I'm so very sorry.

Although, we do take up our very own row on the plane, so it's more like we'll be sitting near you instead of by you.  Believe me, these details matter ;-)

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Set Apart

(iPhone self portrait)

Well.

If there's one thing that will reveal a person's heart, it's a night spent in Las Vegas.

Luke and I drove the eleven hours down to Vegas las Friday, got checked into our hotel, and then spent hours walking the Strip.  I enjoyed the sights - for a people watcher like me, the place is a gold mine!  And the architecture is certainly interesting.  And holy moley....the shopping.  I just had to go peek at the jewels in the windows.  I'd never seen a watch with a price tag of $65,000 until last weekend!

I wish I could say I appreciated it's beauty, but really?  It looked like...a watch.

And the beautiful shops with the mannequins draped in the latest high fashions.  Cool to see, but a little confusing to this small town girl at heart...really...THAT'S fashionable?  And here I thought clothes was supposed to be flattering...to accent the woman's natural beauty, not make her look like a walking talking freak show with more money to spend than brains.  Just sayin'.

I loved the water/lights/music show at the Bellagio (sp??), and we enjoyed a dinner tucked into a soft-cushioned booth with the delicious smell of jasmine floating across our table every time the door was opened.

Speaking of more money than brains...yours truly and her wise and frugal man paid $45 for scrambled eggs and pancakes for breakfast.  Crazy!

It was an experience that I truly enjoyed - strolling the famous Strip with my fingers laced between my man's.  With all the skin and suggestion that Luke was confronted with every 5 seconds, I felt without a doubt that he had eyes only for little old boring me.  I'm a lucky girl.

Although...

We were ready to turn in for the night, when we walked past the Ghirardelli store.  We decided that we MUST stop for an ice cream sunday topped with their famous chocolate.  We were settled into our little booth and enjoying our treat, when something caught Luke's eye.  We were sitting by a glass side door...two young women tapped on the door, pointed and smiled at my husband, and proceeded to give him his own little strip tease.

Something primal in me rose up and made me want to go punch those girls in their perky little noses.  I might have if it wouldn't have meant leaving perfectly good chocolate sitting on the table.

Luke was good enough to look away and joke about it ("I can just hear them now.  They'll wake up in the morning with a hangover and laugh about what they just did.  They'll say 'remember when I danced for that old guy in the chocolate shop?!'").  He doesn't give himself nearly enough credit.

But Vegas was more than an interesting tourist stop for me.  It was eye opening to me in more ways than the superficial ways I just told you about.  In the middle of all those people, I felt a little...lonely...different.

I'm not the first to note what the place is really about.  Someone before me called it "Sin City" for the first time, and the title stuck for a good reason.

A buzz.
Some skin.
Some money.

That's what I saw in those searching eyes.  So many young and hopeful people...searching...seeking...looking for something, and I'm not sure they even know what it is.

I felt like stopping people with that look and saying, "I have it!  I know what you're looking for!  You can have it too!"

At one point, I was stopped in my tracks.  I just had to stop and look at listen.  There was one lone corner where people stood silently and held signs that said "Jesus loves you".  The crowds of people either rolled their eyes, ignored them, or flat out pointed and snickered (the average tourist was more appreciative and approving of the section of the same block that was filled with people dressed in various character costumes so the tourists could have their photos with "Elvis" or "Marilyn" or "Darth"...like two young girls who looked to be about 15 dressed as playboy bunnies.)

All I could think was "What is wrong with me that THESE sign-holding people feel more real...more like home to me than anything else in this crazy place?  Am I some sort of freak?"

Yes.  I am.  I'm a freak.

I've had an uneasy feeling ever since.  Lonely.  Different.

It was the first time I had a chance to really see the changes that have happened in me since I asked Jesus to save me and to change me and to lead me - the first time I've really left my little safe haven that's filled with prayer and worship music and the Word.  He's done some serious work in me, and I didn't even know!

With this realization, I have a choice to make.   I can sit in this uneasy and lonely place and feel sad.  I can mourn the old me.  Or, I can rejoice for the changes in me.

I'm choosing to rejoice.

God Himself has set me apart for Himself, and I can't think of anywhere else I'd rather be.

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Headin' Out

My wonderful man and I are getting out of here for the weekend!  We're driving 18 hours down to Phoenix...visiting family, doing a couple of photo shoots, returning a car to Luke's brother, and just generally getting a break from the norm.

I'm excited.

And totally freaking out to be leaving my four precious babies locked in their rooms with a box of granola bars and some water bottles for the weekend.  Do you think they'll be okay?  I'm sure they will.

Okay - not funny.  One of my sisters and her wonderful man (and their two kids) are staying at our house for the weekend to watch the kids for us, enjoy the chaos of a house with 6 kids, and spoil our kids so much that they'll be disappointed when Luke and I come back home :-)

(and to be honest, I AM freaking out a bit.  It pains me to leave my children {sniff. sniff} )

I can't WAIT to have my love all to myself all this time!  And we're stopping in Vegas on the way down - I've never been there.

Have a great weekend, everyone!


Me:  "Kiddos, I love you from here to the moon and back infinity times!"
Clara:  "I love you too Mama.  I'll miss you."
Ben:  "I love you too, and hey Mom!..did you know that at the speed of light all you have to say is 'one hippo' and you'd be on the moon!  If you said 'one hippopotamus' you'd be back!" 
Sammy:  "I love you to the moon and back...to play time!"
Thomas: {squeeeeeze}

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Hittin' the Road

We're headed out of town tomorrow - on an 8 1/2 hour road trip.  WITH.  THE.  KIDS.

Trying not to panic here ;-)  It'll be fun.  I've already made a batch of chex mix, picked up some bottles of water and grapes, and of course...strawberry Twizzlers.  A road trip without Twizzlers is just no road trip at all.  The same goes for egg salad sandwiches packed in a little cooler, but Clara and I are the only ones in this family who even like egg salad, so I think we'll stick with the plan to stop for burgers at lunch time.

I feel like I lived half my childhood on the road - it seemed we were always driving the long drive to see the Grandparents.  Of course, there was plenty of bickering, plenty of "turn that down" and "don't kick my seat" and "pass the Twizzlers...what do you MEAN they're gone?!".  Mostly though, I just remember good times rolling around in the very back of the big blue station wagon listening to "Tiffany" or Debbie Gibson on my walkman.

Then there was that ONE trip where we drove the tiny little Datsun 210...and there was a lightening incident.  I'm not sure if our car got hit by it, or if it just struck deafeningly close to our car.  Scary.  And, since I was a naive kid, really really cool!

I had grand plans to blog my little brain to mush this week, but well, we've been getting ready for a trip.  Laundry had to prevail if we were to have anything to wear this weekend.  I did find time to finally process a photo shoot before we leave tomorrow though.  What else was I supposed to do while I procrastinated all day today and pretended that we're not actually leaving?

Luke emailed me today with a single word:  "Ready?"  I responded with an enthusiastic "READY!"

He came home to a messy house, laundry not put away, zero packing done, no idea what the kids are wearing for the big dinner tomorrow night, etc.  He looked at me and said "Ready?",with a confused look.

Well...I'm ready...mentally.

I sucked him into my procrastination loop too.  I'm blogging.  he's sitting in the front yard drinking a beer and watching the kids ride bikes.  I'm going to push publish now, and go join him.  What's a trip, if I'm not up until midnight pulling things together at the last minute? ;-)

PS.  Remember this lady?

Well, she looks awesome with straight hair too:

Click on over to my photo blog to see more if you'd like

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Brand New Me

I've been on a Mommy vacation - I flew to Wisconsin all by my SELF, and spent almost 5 full days away from my wonderful little family.

To be honest, I was hesitant. I was fearful. What I didn't know was just how worn out I'd become. Now that I'm home, I'm realizing how fearfully little time I'd been spending hugging my kids...talking with them (lots of talking AT them, which is very different and much less fun for everyone)...looking up and out and really SEEING them. I'd fallen into the familiar mommy-rut of just getting my stuff DONE...getting the day DONE.

Oh boy. I really needed that break!

On the way to WI, I sat and watched a movie on my iPod touch and wasn't interrupted once. During my layover, I at at a cafe at which there was no paper wrapper on my food, the glass was actual glass (and the plates too!). I strolled leisurely through the airport without hollering at anyone to stay close, without carrying anyone's stuffed animal or car seat. I also didn't have to sing a single round of itsy bitsy spider on the plane or hold anyone's barf bag. It was grand.

And then, during my visit, I wasn't in charge of a single person besides little ol' me. I worked hard, I slept late, I enjoyed being with my parents who I love and admire and cherish now more than ever, I read a good book, I prayed.

I even had a dream that felt an awful lot like God whispering something into my heart that I feel hesitant and nervous about....but also strangely excited and humbled. It'll be interested to see what He has in store for me. It feels so good to know that I'm in His hands and that He has a plan for me that is more spectacular than anything I could dream up on my own. Life has true and lasting meaning with Him in charge. I'm so thankful to be His kid!

I'm yours, Lord. Do what you will.

Somewhere during my vacation, I started to feel an emptiness that seemed to be right in the middle of my chest. My break was necessary...wonderful. But this mama just doesn't belong so far away from these children. And when God made me one with my wonderful husband, He meant it for keeps. I'm just not whole without my Luke...not myself.

How can I belong in two places at once? It broke my heart to leave. I fought tears all the way down the terminal....visions of my Dad's kind eyes and the sharp suit he wore to work....his kiss on my cheek....the turtle sundae that I enjoyed with mom, her hug that feels like coming home way down deep in my soul. Home is with them. Home is in Wisconsin - trees and water and old traditions. AND home is in Idaho - fresh air and open spaces.

Ugh.

As I stood at my gate to get on my plane to Boise, I watched people. I was especially fascinated by a family...a mom and dad and their son. He had the typical dark suit with a name badge on his chest that read "Elder XYZ". It always cracks me up...these 20 year old young people calling themselves "Elder". His parents had gone to pick him up, and they were flying him home now that his 2 year mission for the LDS church was over. I respect the commitment they make - the passion with which they spread information about their church. But I admit...I hope that the young man was a complete and utter failure when it came to convincing people to join the LDS church.

There was another young missionary on the plane to Boise too. He was traveling alone. I found myself wondering if I should try to talk with him, but not really feeling like it. I wanted to sit quietly and read my book the whole way home. Mind my own business.

But guess who God had seated right next to me? And guess what that unsuspecting young man asked me? "Have you ever taken time to learn about the LDS church or talked with any missionaries?"

It was all I could do to keep myself from laughing out loud!

"I have", was my only response. I didn't really want to open a door to this conversation.

But the kid didn't let up. Evidently, the door was already open, and I was being dragged through it whether I liked it or not! Okay Lord, help me out here...

We talked for over an hour. I'll spare you the details. If you think of it, pray for a young man named Mike. God knows who he is.

When I asked him his name, he said "Elder XYZ" (I can't remember his last name). I asked him if he would share his first name with me..."Mike", he said with an awkward shrug.

"What's your name?", he asked.

It was all I could to to keep from saying "Princess Daiquiri" or "Saint Daiquiri" ;-)

I played nice though.

He left the plane with a few questions from me that he said he'd have to think about and research...and my name, phone number and an invitation and directions to our Bible teaching church. Wouldn't it be amazing if he'd come to church with us? Oh, I'm praying!

And now... I'm home. After a few days at my parent's home, I have a new appreciation for just how unorganized I've let this house become. And how quickly my kids are growing up. And how crazy I am about this man that God's given me. And how much I love my Mom and Dad.

I'm rested and refreshed...I feel like a brand new me :-)

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Christmas 2009 in Something Larger than a Nutshell

With all the craziness and turmoil of the past month, I never took the time to tell you about our Christmas! Despite some beyond-hard goodbyes, there was still much fun and joy to be found. Grandma would be happy to hear that, I think :-)

It all began with a hunt for the perfect tree. We were invited to a tree lot to choose a fresh tree and cut it down ourselves. It sounded like a fun adventure, so that's what we did on cold and blustery December Sunday afternoon.

Samantha thought it sounded like a fun adventure too, but she was concerned. I listened in on a sweet conversation she had with her Daddy that morning.

"We're going to the forest to choose a tree today, Sammy. Won't that be fun?!"

"A forest? But will there be animals in the forest? Will there be....LIONS in the forest?"

"No, sweetie. You don't have to worry about lions in the forest. There are just trees and maybe a squirrel or two."

"Well, okay. As long as there aren't any lions!"

We parked the car and ventured out to find our tree. There was much running around and debating the merits of each kids' favorite tree.

You will NEVER guess what we found in that little lot of trees...it was a real live LION. No kidding! All of Daddy's reassurances from that morning went right out the window when another family showed up to choose their tree, and on of their boys was dressed in little more than his favorite lion costume. I absolutely could not believe it! :-)

We finally settled on one of the most beautiful trees that I'd ever seen. It pained me to cut it down - I so wished we could have planted it in the yard instead!

Everyone had their chance to help cut it down. Clara's rear-end while she cuts:

Ben's:

Sammy's:

We finally got the enormous tree strapped to the top of our car, and we were on our way! You should have seen the stares and points we got as we drove around like this:

Before we could say "Jingle Bells", it was time for the annual round of school holiday programs. I was so proud of my brave little Clara when she signed up to be a "toy" dancing around on stage for her program (in the karate uniform):

See the prettiest girl in the whole room? That's my girl...

Sammy also had a Christmas program. It took every single ounce of courage she could muster up to walk up on stage and chew her fingernails bloody. My poor little nervous girl...NO red reindeer nose for her...NO singing for her...NO hat for her...NO dancing for her. In fact, she locked eyes with me once with such horror in her eyes, I was certain that she was going to dash off the stage and into my arms. Instead, she took encouragement in my smiling "thumbs up". I sang with her and clapped like a doofus....and before I knew it, she was actually singing too!

Whew - school was finally out.

We had a mysterious invitation from my sister and her hubby. We were just supposed to be ready to go at a certain time, and they'd come and get us.

Come and get us, they did!

We got a call around the time we were expecting them, "walk out your front door right NOW", was all she said. We walked outside to find a 15 passenger van blaring Christmas music, decked out with lights INSIDE the van, and two giant thermoses of hot chocolate ready for us. It was quite the scene! First, we stopped at McD's for $1 cheeseburgers and fries, and then we were off to see all the best holiday lights in the Boise area.

These guys...there is no effort too great...if it's fun, they make it happen. I feel so blessed to live close to them :-)

After several days of lighting and decorating the tree and house, we were finally ready for Christmas. The gifts were tucked away in the closet, only needing some paper and bows, and the stockings were hung by the chimney with care (poor Thomas, making a matching stocking for him is definitely a priority for me this year):

And the tree was the most beautiful tree we'd ever had. It didn't hurt that it was about 15 feet tall!

I had fun one evening with long shutter speeds and our tree lights:

And then, Christmas 2009 was defined in a whole new and painful way. My wonderful Grandma. Gone. How is it possible?

We decided to circle the wagons, and headed to Wisconsin for Christmas. I wanted to be with my parents, I wanted to help, I wanted to be near my Mom who was suddenly without her own mom for the first time in her life. I wanted to show up with a car filled with joy and gifts and chaos and love...I wanted the joyful shouts of my children's voices to help fill the void for Mom and Dad. And, I was missing Grandma. I wanted my Mommy and Daddy :-)

Before we left, we wrapped up the "big" gifts from us, and gave them to the kids (couldn't spare the room to get them to WI along with the 10 full suitcases we already had - no joke!). It was nice to have a little bit of Christmas under our spectacular tree after all.

Ben got a motorized-marble-maze-contraption- thingy that took him (and his Daddy who has an engineering degree) roughly 8 hours to assemble. It was right up his alley :-)

Clara got her very own sewing machine, fabric, and sewing box filled with notions. She and I promptly made a pillow and blanket for her favorite stuffed animal (and last weekend we made a new stuffed animal that is so cute - I'll try to remember to show you soon):

And Sammy- our little performer - she got a kids' keyboard that has a little recording device and microphone attached. She can record what she plays, and then she runs around the house listening to her "iPod" for the rest of the day :-)

Where's my picture of Thomas' gift? Thomas got a train set that he requests...no...requires we set up for him every single solitary day. All he has to do is point to the living room and say "whooo whooo", and we know what he's after :-)

We also got a gift for all the kids - a little air hockey table that sits right on the floor or the kitchen table. We had a great weekend of sewing and building and singing and playing!

And then, on Christmas Eve (I always SWORE I'd never be one of those people dashing around and traveling on Christmas Eve!!), we piled the kids, ourselves, and 10 giant suitcases onto an airplane and headed to the Chicago airport (I also SWORE to never fly United into Chicago again), then we rented a 12 passenger van and drove 3 hours to my folks' house.

It was, mercifully, a very nice and uneventful trip. Except for a bit of barfing on the plane. Really though - it was an easy trip. Well, except maybe for the little barfer :-)

And it was all SO worth it! There's just nothing like Christmas with Yaya and Papa...in their cozy warm house...with their gorgeous tree...and the amazing cooking.

After a round of gift opening from Santa in the morning, my mom's side of the family came over for food and fun (and a few tears...missing Grandma). I love getting together with these folks. This is so...where I'm from.

Oh Grandma...

Then, after a power nap on the couch for me and....I have no idea what for everyone else because I was drooling on the couch...we headed to a party with my Dad's side of the family.

Oh boy. An entire day filled with beautiful, fun, and funny people. AND unbelievable food? That's my family. God was awfully sweet putting me where he put me in this big old world.

There were lots and lots of people there, but one in particular stole my heart.

Does anything say "Merry Christmas" like a sweet little chubby-cheeked munchkin in a pretty dress? I think not.

I don't know though. She's terribly unloved.

And neglected.

No one really likes her much at all.

I almost had to take her home with me to spare her a long life of abuse and suffering. Can't you see? She's miserable without me hugging and kissing her...

After the business of Christmas Day, we settled in to play with the Christmas goodies and enjoy our time with Yaya and Papa. A couple of days after Christmas, my other sister and her family flew out so they could be there for Grandma's funeral. We hadn't celebrated Christmas with them (officially) yet, so we piled more...and more...and MORE gifts under the tree for an evening of extravagant abundance also known as "celebrating Christmas with Grandma and Grandpa". They spoil us all rotten :-)

But then on the day when we were to do our gift opening, my little nephew wasn't feeling well. He had a pretty bad cold with sore throat, and all of a sudden...a very painfully stiff neck. Did I just hear a collective gasp of terror from fellow moms out there? Yeah, we were scared.

His mom and dad whisked him to the ER immediately. From there, the good doctor at the ER transferred little Trevor by ambulance to Milwaukee Children's Hospital. He stayed there for 3 or 4 days on IV antibiotics and fluids. Thank goodness, he didn't have meningitis. He had an infection at the back of his throat that was causing his throat to swell up. It was getting to the point of threatening his airway, so they acted swiftly to get the kiddo on some heavy duty drugs. We were all thankful that he didn't need surgery.

While he was at the hospital, we prayed.

And we did our best to wrangle our two year old AWAY from this marvelous scene:

When Thomas discovered that the tree had seemingly magically been re-stocked with another load of gifts, we heard the most impressed "OOOOoooooOOOOooooOOOOOooo" come out of his little mouth :-)

Somewhere in there, Thomas snuggled up next to me to "read" his book while I read mine:

Papa tried to sneak a picture, but he was spied.

Also, somewhere in there, we had one of my hardest days ever. We said goodbye to my sweet Grandma. It just doesn't seem like the world should keep turning, you know? Death is just so...wrong.

A couple of days before her funeral, someone asked me if I was interested in saying anything at the service. I didn't know. I hadn't really planned on anything. I went to bed that night and asked Luke to pray for me about it. I prayed about it. I asked for Him to make it clear to me if I should speak, and to give me the words. I woke the next morning and simply HAD to get on the computer to start writing. He gave me the words alright!

So I had the honor of speaking at my Grandma's funeral. It felt good to do something for her. It felt good to celebrate her. It felt good to share what I knew of Grandma's faith. It felt good to share Grandma's hope...her God, with the people she loved most.

And it was positively terrifying! I was honored to do it, and thankful that I had the opportunity. But man, it was so hard! It was certainly the Lord himself holding me up, filling my trembling lungs with air, and giving me the words.

I'm so thankful for HOPE. I'm so thankful that the God I know and love conquered death itself. I have such a tremendous day to look forward to...even in death. I can't wait to see Grandma again!

{sigh....}

Finally, little Trevor was good as new. He came home and we got to open those marvelous packages!

So that's it. Our 2009 Christmas. After a New Year's Eve feast of melt-in-your-mouth steaks, homemade french fries, and the most gigantic lobster tails I've ever seen, we reluctantly piled ourselves back in the car for the long trip home. It was a mere 6 hours of travel, more oh-so-joyous experiences with missing the motion sickness bag on the airplane, and we were finally home again.

Does someone have a name for me? I want the name of the person who is responsible for the design of the airplane's motion sickness bags. Four square inches at the opening? Really? I might not know your name to write you a letter, but I know you're out there.

Dear Mr./Mrs. small bag designer: the water proof lining inside the bag was a good idea, but it does NO GOOD if the bag is so small that the 4 year old can't manage to actually aim the unpleasantness enough to actually get it IN the bag. Thank you. That's all I have to say about that.

PS. I hope that the stars align properly one day so that you are sitting next to one of my barfers on our next flight.

PPS. You owe my husband one pair of pants.

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