Pruning

 

The past two years have been some of my most painful.

Have you been through a time like this...everything is just fine.  Great, even.  All seems to be in order and on track for goodness.  And then, it's as if a switch is flipped, and suddenly everything feels like it's on it's head.  You hardly know which way to look and all you can think is, "What is happening?!"

That's how it began for me.

Life was "in order and on track"...

Our oldest child had graduated from college and was doing well.  Our second oldest was almost done with college too.  Our third had her eyes set on a school in Florida.  Our youngest was absolutely killing it as a high school student and athlete.  The kids were happy and healthy - thriving.  Thank You, Lord!

Business was good to the point where my husband took a job at our beloved church - a passion project for him.  Who knows that church work doesn't pay the greatest...you don't serve at church for the money!  He was helping, serving, and absolutely loving his new role.  It's wonderful to see my guy happy and eager to go to work each day.  We adore our church family.

I was serving at church as a volunteer - growing and learning and serving.  Oh, the heart of love God's placed in me for our church family!  I could burst with it each time I walk through the doors!

We had just sold our little house and moved to our dream property on 7 acres of rolling hills, stream, and woods.  My husband had gutted the house, and re-built it to our liking.  I was so eager to get my hands in the dirt to build gardens, do landscaping, and really transform the neglected land.

All of our decisions were based on assumptions of business continuing to be good, and our bodies being able to do what they'd always been able to do...

And then the switch flipped

The company I was with changed their structure, and our income literally disappeared.  I'd built and nurtured and prayed for that business for 14 years...and it was just...gone.  I wasn't angry or bitter because business is business.  Things change.  I just wasn't expecting it, and the loss was scary because we had major financial commitments to banks and to our kids. 

We learned of the loss just weeks after moving into the new property, and a few days after signing the papers on a new work truck for my husband.

And we still had 2 1/2 kids to help through college! 

We were not willing to default.

We were not willing to tell our kids "sorry, it's on you now".

We were reeling from the change and mulling over our options when my body seemed to start breaking down.

I'd had a tenderness in my left knee for months, but it suddenly became unbearable so I headed to the doctor where I was told I had a torn meniscus.  Within just a week of that diagnosis, I was back in the doctor's office with unbearable pain in my OTHER knee. 

"What in the world are you doing?  This knee has a tear too!", the doctor told me.

I was beside myself with pain, frustration, discouragement, and confusion.

WHAT. IS. HAPPENING?

I felt like a total failure as our finances and my body seemed to fall to pieces.  I was accustomed to contributing to our family in meaningful ways...and suddenly I was small and weak and needing help instead of to be a help.

Worse yet, I missed out on family fun.  I couldn't go on hikes. I sat on the sidelines while everyone played pickleball.  I had to be "dropped off at the door" instead of walking with my family. And it seemed to be snowballing...the less physical activity I did, the softer and more inflamed my body got.  The smallest activity left me hurting and exhausted.

Each week, I continued to serve at church.  One of my roles is to pray at the altar with people when the come forward for prayer.  I prayed for the healing of finances and bodies time and time again, and I saw God move.  Bodies were literally miraculously healed.  Jobs and windfalls came people's way.  Relationships healed.  Prodigals returned home.  Demons fled.  Hope was restored.  Rejection was rejected.  

I absolutely rejoiced for the goodness of God...but was definitely feeling left out and maybe rejected by God.  I prayed (and received prayer) for the same provision and healing I saw God supplying for others...but I was left suffering.

I cried out to the Lord time and time and time again..."Lord, if this is on me, please show me.  If I'm being disobedient or if I'm in sin, please show me so I can make it right!  Search my heart, Lord.  You know me inside and out.  You know me better than I know myself.  I want to be true and pure before you."

Crickets

I LONGED for discipline!  Even if it's painful for a short time, discipline from God is always in His love and gentleness.  And the best part, is that it's a turning point to get straightened out.  If I was wayward somehow, I wanted to know so I could repent and be made whole.

A sense of total defeat and dread seemed to settle on me.  I didn't know what to do. Was this just how life was going to be for me now? 

As I sobbed in the shower one day, I found myself crying out to God again, "What is happening?!"...I admit I didn't expect an answer.  My hope was gone.  I'd come to terms with "crickets" even though the silence hurt.

Through the fog of hopelessness, I heard that still, small voice of God say a single word:

"PRUNING"

The unexpected answer left me breathless as I let that word tumble through my spirit and mind for a few moments. 

I sensed the presence of the Lord like I hadn't in a long time, which made afraid to move.

I stood in His peace for a moment, and worked up my courage to ask..."Lord, can I ask?  Is it ok to ask?"

I sensed His smile on me as I came to Him as such a small and vulnerable child. So I asked...

"What are you pruning, Lord?  And could you please maybe sharpen the shears and just lop it off quickly to get this torturous process over with?"

Again, I sensed His gentleness and delight...but also a seriousness, like He was aware that this was painful for me and it wasn't something He enjoyed.  There was a sense that it was necessary work for Him to do because He loves me and wants the best for me...but it's not fun for either of us.

And then, oh the joy...an answer! (I really didn't expect Him to explain Himself to me  - I was just thrilled to be back in communication).  But He did!  He answered!

"I'm pruning you of self-sufficiency"

Oh, the explosion of understanding that overtook me!

The ways in which I'd been suffering were areas in life where I was strong.

But we are not called to be strong, are we?  In fact, we are specifically called to be weak in our own strength.  We are called to rejoice in our weaknesses because then God's strength can shine through.

That teaching can make for a nice little discussion during Bible study, but do we really think about what it means for our personal lives?  I admit, I hadn't.  Not really.

I'd prayed "More of you, less of me" countless times.  Sang the songs, even.

I'd asked Him...begged Him!... to remove anything in my life that wasn't of Him.  And now, I found myself sitting in the suffering of that answered prayer!

The ways of the world love to tell us that we need to be strong, doesn't it?  It loves to encourage us to "be your best self". It loves to celebrate strength and "making it happen" and "just do it".

But the way of the Kingdom of God tells us to be weak.

The way of the Kingdom tells us to die to self.

The way of the Kingdom celebrates submission and obedience to the Lord...even when we don't feel like it. To submit ourselves to the pruning shears even when it hurts like crazy.

How are my knees?  What about our finances?  Did we keep the house?  Is my husband still working at church? There are many more angles and aspects to the this story I long to tell, but the point of this particular writing is to encourage you, my brothers and sisters in Christ.

Be encouraged in your painful seasons.

You might be experiencing loss and pain...but maybe it's actually an answer to your very own prayer for more of Him and less of you.

Maybe it's not failure or rejection at all...but the tender and gentle hand of the Father who loves you and is shaping your life to better reflect His nature and heart.  Know that you are in His love, and get your hopes up for seasons of more and more fruitfulness in your life...for your benefit, and His glory! 

xoxo Daiq

“I am the true vine, and my Father is the gardener. He cuts off every branch in me that bears no fruit, while every branch that does bear fruit he prunes so that it will be even more fruitful. John 15:1-2

And I am convinced that nothing can ever separate us from God’s love. Neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither our fears for today nor our worries about tomorrow—not even the powers of hell can separate us from God’s love. No power in the sky above or in the earth below—indeed, nothing in all creation will ever be able to separate us from the love of God that is revealed in Christ Jesus our Lord. Romans 8:38-39

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"Zero Compromise"

(Image created with AI...but the expression is not quite right...it should be much more stern)

 

I just had a strange experience during worship, and I sense that it's something I'm meant to share.

It was strange because I often "see/sense" Jesus during worship.  Sometimes He's standing, sometimes sitting.  Sometimes He even dances or comes so near that I can almost feel His breath.  He's sometimes exuding joy or peace...sometimes just a quiet expression of enjoyment on His face.

But today, He was serious.  So stern and serious that my little girl self rose up for a second and thought He was angry with me, and I felt myself shrinking away from Him.

"Are you mad at me?", I asked sheepishly.

As He looked at me, His eyes softened a bit and I was shocked to the point of laughter to hear the lyrics "sweet child of mine" (Guns and Roses?!!!)  No, He wasn't angry with me.  He is tender toward me.

So I asked some more about what was happening since it was so unusual.

As I looked, it was as if His eyes were laser focused on something (but I couldn't see what He was looking at).  There was something he was intensely focused on.  He leaned forward in His seat and said,

"This is a time to be very careful about avoiding deception.  Know Me.  Know My voice.  Stay close.  Many people don't know who I really am." (I could feel a grief on that last part)

And then, He called to mind a recent conversation I had with one of my children about college life.  I encouraged my child to explore and have fun, to try new things, to really stretch and grow.  "But", I said, "food, and friends, and clothes, and hairstyles are all fun...but it's important that you hold fast to the truth of Jesus.  You must allow for zero compromise in the things of God."

"ZERO COMPROMISE" rang like a bell in my ear.

And then, there was grief again, "So many don't know who I really am".

There was one final shift.  He called to my memory a very vivid dream I had about 3 1/2 years ago.  In the dream, I looked out a window and I saw God the Father strolling casually (sort of casually pacing) in my back yard, and every now and then He'd lift His arm and look at the watch on His wrist...all while continuing to casually stroll. I asked Jesus what was happening, and He replied, "He's the Keeper of time".  I understood that not even Jesus really knew the "time"...only the Keeper of time.

But this time, as I looked, the Father stopped dead in His tracks and was inspecting His watch VERY intently.  It was almost like he was counting the seconds.  There was no causal stroll, no casual glance.  He was watching as if every single little millisecond counts.

As Jesus shared all of this with me, I had the sense that He was entrusting something to my care and that I should not delay in acting.  

My takeaways:
1. I was supposed to share this
2. It's a uniquely intense time in the spirit
3. The church must allow ZERO compromise in the things of God - this is not a time to entertain or worry about numbers.  The Gospel of Jesus.  The person of Jesus.  Worship in Spirit and truth.  People must know the truth of who Jesus is... to their salvation and His glory.
4. We must be on guard agains deception
5.  God is the Keeper of time - we don't have to worry about it...but we should watch and be wise about discerning the times.  Milliseconds matter. 

Stay close to His heart, brothers and sisters.  Be in your Bible every single day.  Worship in spirit and truth.  Get into that secret place with Him like your life depends on it.  Share the gospel and love people well...with zero compromise!

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What's In Your Hand?

 This single sentence stopped me cold today as I read.

“What is that in your hand?” Exodus4:2

There Moses was, minding his own business and caring for the flock. Just a guy, his staff, and a flock of sheep.

Suddenly, God Himself shows up and calls Moses to do something out of the ordinary.

Moses doubts himself and his ability to do what God’s asking. God replies by asking “what’s in your hand?”

I can imagine Moses’s indifferent shrug as he holds out the ordinary staff that he’s carried every day for years.

God takes that simple thing and adds His miraculous to it.

How often do we sense that God is asking something of us, and we reply with “sure as soon as you put something amazing on me, I’ll get right to work”

We wait for everything to look perfect. We wait for the perfect set up. We wait for our skills and our tools to look more incredible than anything anyone else has.

This is how we will know that we are gifted, right?… When all the earthly and human signs point toward guaranteed greatness.

But that’s not how it worked for Moses. God did not give him a special robe. He did not give him a new and upgraded embellished staff. He did not put Moses in a place of authority in Egypt.

By all outward signs, it did not look like a good opportunity for Moses to be successful.

He was still just a guy holding that ordinary staff.

Have you been waiting?

Have you been waiting for the perfect set up? The perfect opportunity? For all circumstances to be aligned perfectly for your best chance at success?

Have you been waiting for your ordinary life and skills to look and feel extraordinary before you take your next step?

I don’t think that’s the way it’s supposed to work. Walking by faith is the opposite of walking by sight.

We are called to step out and do what God asks us to do well before it seems like a good idea by human standards.

So friend, what is in your hand today?

I encourage you to use the ordinary things of your life in the way that God is asking you to, and to count on Him to add His miraculous power to it for His Glory.

Say “yes”… Knowing full well that you are 100% dependent on God showing up

Say “yes“ to that impossible looking opportunity

Take a step out onto the water

Count on God to drop mana from the sky

Shout at the walls and expect them to fall

Go into battle frighteningly outnumbered

Expect God to fulfill every single promise He’s made

When we see God as faithful and generous, He sees us as full of faith and He is honored

All things…ALL… are possible with Him

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Rooted

 

This happy dandelion caught my attention today. Some might look at it and think "oh, it's a picture of strength and resilience - just look how determined it is to grow in those harsh surroundings!"

I don't see it that way.

That plant is not "working hard" to prevail against harsh conditions. It's just doing what it's made to do.

When I asked the Lord what He was trying to show me, He whispered the word "ROOTED" 🌱

Of course!

Circumstances and surroundings don't have the power of death when the ROOT is where it belongs.

Of course, this plant has a long taproot down into fertile soil, so the plant thrives despite being surrounded by unfriendly circumstances.

How about you?

Do you feel blown by the winds of change?

Panicked by the evening news?

Afraid for the future?

Disturbed by political changes or swings in the stock market?

Uncertain about time, finances, aging, kids, purpose, relationships, etc.?

If yes, then I gently encourage you to examine where you're rooted. The "fruit" of panic, fear, anxiety, uncertainty...they are fruits that indicate an unhealthy plant. THAT plant is working hard, battling, and striving.

Be like the dandelion, friend 😂

Get your roots into fertile soil.

Get you face pointed toward the Son ☀️ (see what I did there?)

And then...rest.

Let Him be God, and you can be His child.

Of course, there's good work to do in this life...but when you're rooted in Him, everything is grace.

Resilience and toughness is overrated - the world tries to sell it as "strength"...but it's really just a path to exhaustion and futility.

Call on Jesus and just see how sweet life can be ❤️

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There Is No "If"

The past few days have been especially hard for me.  Who am I kidding...the past few weeks...months...years even. They've been hard as I struggle with physical pain in my body.

The doctor tells me that I have a torn meniscus in each knee. This is the first time I've dealt with chronic pain like this.  It hurts when I walk.  It hurts when I rest.  It even hurts to the point of me shouting out in pain in the middle of the night.

It wasn't very long ago that I would have simply booked a surgical appointment and had them both repaired.  That's the reasonable course of action, right?

But I had an unsettled feeling in my heart from the beginning as I contemplated surgery.  Of course, I don't love the idea of surgical pain.  I don't love the idea of the financial cost.  But most of all, I felt the prompting of the Lord to "hold"... to simply wait.

So I wait.  And I suffer.  And I miss long walks with my husband.  I miss hiking through the woods and working in my yard. 

Waiting doesn't make sense to my logical brain. 

In fact, I woke one day with certainty in my heart about having surgery - I felt peaceful and excited to put the pain behind me and get back to exercising and getting fit. But based on my previous certainty to wait, I asked the Lord to confirm this new decision to move forward with surgery.  Boy, did He deliver on that request quickly!  

I opened the Word that morning to the genealogy of Jesus in the first chapter of Matthew.  I read every word at the prompting of the Holy Spirit, and my eye settled on the name "Asa".  I could not read past his name, so I dug into the story of King Asa. The punchline is found in 2 Chronicles 16:12-13:

"In the thirty-ninth year of his reign Asa became diseased in his feet.  His disease was severe, yet even in his disease he did not seek the LORD, but the physicians.  So Asa slept with his fathers having died in the forty-first year of his reign."

My jaw pretty much hit the floor!  And I was frustrated and SO mad!  I wanted the pain gone.  I wanted to seek the physicians.  And frankly, in many areas of my life, I DO seek physicians with no conflict of conscience.  I take prescription medicines.  I've had surgery.  I've been greatly blessed by healing provided by God through physicians' hands.

But the message was clear - the Lord was asking me to wait and seek Him in this.  I was super irritated.

Eventually, I decided to settle into hope.  

For a while, I was eager in the painful waiting.  I figured that God must have something better in store for me.  Why else would He ask me to wait?

And wow, the Lord has absolutely knocked my socks off the past couple years.  The Bible tells us that followers of Jesus will see signs...believers in Jesus "will cast out devils, they'll speak in new tongues, they'll take up serpents; and if they drink any deadly thing, it shall not hurt them; they shall lay hands on the sick, and they shall recover." (Mark 16:17-18)

I'm here to testify -- this scriptural promise still stands to this day!

I've seen it with my own eyes.  I've seen demons flee as I pray.  I've experienced speaking in new tongues.  I've laid hands on the sick, and they've recovered.  Glory to God!!

(Admittedly, I've not taken up snakes or sipped on anything deadly...not exactly seeking those things out haha!)

I've seen cancer healed.

I've seen torn ligaments in shoulders healed.

I've seen chronic and debilitating back pain vanish.

I've seen addicts instantly delivered and healed...they're not recovering, they're healed.

And most recently (and ironically)...a woman at church just walked up to me TWO DAYS ago, and she was giddy to share with me:

"Daiquiri!  I want you to know that when you prayed for my knee last month, God healed me!  He HEALED me!  He actually healed me!  I had a torn meniscus in my knee...and it's totally healed now!"

I rejoiced with her.  "Thank You, God, for healing my precious sister.  Thank You for the honor of being Your hands and feet in praying for her.  You're amazing!" 

We celebrated together, and then I said "you wanna hear a crazy coincidence? I have a torn meniscus in each of my knees.  Would you pray for me now?"

She put her hand on my shoulder and prayed for our good God to do for me just what He did for her.  Surely, this was it?  Surely this was the day of my miracle?

Apparently not.  I limped away from that encounter feeling rejected and heartbroken.

Later the very next day (yesterday), a woman asked me to pray for her.  She had terrible pain in her back.  I laid my hands on her in faith.  I believe that Jesus is who He says He is, and that He does what He says He will do.

She felt no improvement in her pain.  Her sad blue eyes pierced me as she said "I know He's a healer.  Why isn't He healing me?"

It cut me to the quick.  My heart broke with and for her because I KNOW the pain in that question.

As I stood and worshiped the Lord yesterday, tears streamed down my cheeks and wet the front of my shirt.  I felt utterly rejected and hurt.  The pain in my knees paled in comparison to the heart-sick feeling I had that maybe I wasn't loved very much after all.

I KNOW that my feelings are real, but they're not always TRUE.  

I fight to take my thoughts and feelings captive and to bend them to conform to the Truth of Jesus.

I speak "It is written..." over myself as I fight the pull of the black hole that is emotional turmoil.

Thank God for His written Word!

And even more, I thank God for the written Word's revelation of the living Word, Jesus.

So I went straight to the written Word this morning for comfort and an emotional "re-set".  I'm not going to wallow in lies for another day.  This is the day the Lord has made, and I WILL be glad!  Teach me, Lord!

The Lord led me Matthew 12:36-39 when Jesus scolded people who were insisting on a sign.  He said, "An evil and adulterous generation craves for a sign..."

My breath caught in my chest.
My heart seemed to beat louder than normal.
My ears rang in the profound silence that surrounded me.

Jesus was talking about ME in this verse!

Yes, "signs" will follow those who believe.

But I've been seeking His hand more than His heart.

Worse, I've been seeking His hand as PROOF of His heart.

Oh, Lord, I'm so sorry!

The scribes and Pharisees sought a sign...with impure intent:  

"IF You are who You say You are, then show us a sign.
Prove Yourself to us.
Do what we want when we want it."

So ugly...but haven't I been doing the same?

"IF You love me, then show me a sign.
Prove You love me by healing me.
Do what I want how and when I want it."

Yup - just as ugly.

I confessed the sin before the Lord, and I repented with all my heart.  He was faithful and just to forgive me and wash me clean (1 Jn 1:9).

All at once, I heard His familiar voice whisper lovingly:

"There is no 'if'"

I was swept under the wave of love that rolled over me.

Oh God, You love me.  You are good.

No matter my physical experience or my emotions, these two things are true every moment of every day.

I choose to believe the truth of Your love and goodness even when I don't "feel" it.  Even when there is not the "sign" of it that I desire.

"If He heals me..."

"If He gifts me..."

"If He provides for me..."

"If I see a sign..."

Oh Lord, I'm sorry that I've attached "if" to Your everlasting love and goodness.

There.  Is.  No.  "IF".

You are God and I am not.

You are loving and good and true.  Period.

Thank You for loving and forgiving me.  Thank you for teaching me. 

I will stand and worship and thank You for Your faithfulness and goodness...even if I must stand on throbbing legs to do it.

Thank You for your patience with me and my bratty ways!  Thank You that You are my Rock even when I make the mistake of setting my eyes on the wind and waves.

Thank You for Your unfailing love and faithfulness.

Words cannot express Your goodness Lord.  Please see the welling of love and awe in my heart for You, God.  Let the incense of my love and worship rise to Your throne day after day.  Night after night. Regardless of my earthly circumstance...You are holy and worthy and so very good.

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The Cost of Love

 

Feeling a little sad this morning.  We decided it was time to say goodbye to our old boy Packer last night.  He was a fixture in our lives for 14+ years, and the house feels strange without him.  I missed him limping his way over to me this morning to give me a good morning hug.  He was a crazy dog...but he was so sweet and I loved him the best I could.

As I contemplate my heartache over a dog...it strikes me that God is love.  Jesus came in love.  The Holy Spirit ministers to us in love.  We are made in His image, and we are called to so thoroughly love that it's becomes a badge that enables the world to identify the followers of Jesus.

But there's a serious cost to follow that call.

It costs us to love.  It costs our very selves because love is an utterly selfless thing.  It is caring about someone else even above ourselves.  It is sacrificing and compromising and all giving...all pouring out.

Thankfully, love is designed to be a relationship - a two way street - a pouring out AND a filling up. 

We love God and He loves us infinitely MORE.

We love a spouse and they love us back.

We love and old dog and we're met with faithful tail wags, a little jump of joy when they see us, and a sweet friendly presence to be with us...even if they are a hairy mess with awful (AWFUL) breath!

It's designed to be good and beautiful - a literal reflection of the amazing heart and character of our Creator.

But still...there's a heavy cost when choosing to love in this lifetime.

Too often, love is not reciprocated.

Too often, "love" is selfish and cruel (not actually love, but a misuse of the word).

Too often, the one(s) who are meant to love us the most are wrapped up in fear and hurt and lies...the best they can do is respond harshly and selfishly instead of gently as they strive to protect their already wounded heart. All they can pour out to their partner is the fear and hurt and lies that they're ruled by...and this upside down culture of ours encourages this as "strength" or "toughness" or "independence".

And even when we do find/discover/develop a (near) perfect Godly love that removes fear...that is patient and kind...that is giving and humble...that is honoring and self-giving...that is slow to anger an forgives quickly...that is a source of joy and comfort

...even then, there is a cost.

There is the cost demanded by time itself.

We see the precious hands weaken and the wrinkles set in.  The hair grays and the walk slows.  Time marches...marches...marches...

We know where it's leading.  We tuck the dread away, and pray an earnest, "Maranatha!" 

Yet, despite the cost, I choose love.

I choose connection and tenderness.

I choose to give my heart...my whole self...away.

Yes, there is a very steep cost of love...

...and I believe it's worth it.

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The Prayer of Faith

 

Are we praying the prayer of faith, or the prayer of doubt?

Too often, we pray the prayer of doubt.

The prayer of fear.

The prayer of defeat.

We pray the PROBLEM instead of the solution.

Proverbs 18:21 says "Death and life are in the power of the tongue, And those who love it will eat its fruit."

With that in mind, what does "the prayer of faith" in James 5:14-15 mean?

Instead of speaking about the problem and begging God to do what He already did and offers to us freely, let’s simply BELIEVE HIM enough to speak out what HE says about what we have going on. Faith…having confidence in who God is and what He says instead of confidence in our circumstance.

This can seem foolish or silly because we find ourselves speaking things that we can’t yet see with our eyes. But isn’t that what faith is? Yes…yes, it is. Faith is the evidence of things NOT SEEN, friends.

Even if we don’t see it yet, we’re asked to walk by faith and not sight.

So it reasons that the “prayer of faith” is the act of praying/speaking what we believe even though we cannot see it (yet!).

In fact, if we CAN see it, that’s not faith at all…that’s walking by sight and not faith!

At best, we too often pray a "double minded" prayer that sounds a lot like hedging our bet.

Check out this definition for "hedging a bet": "A hedge is a method to reduce risk and secure winnings for a specified bet. It means betting the opposite side of your original wager in order to either try to middle the game, or to reduce the downside exposure of the original wager."

We do this, right?

Original wager: "I trust you, God. You are my healer. You are my great physician. You are able to heal me. By your stripes I am healed."

The opposite of the original wager: "But God, if you don't want to heal me, that's ok. If you're not still in the healing business, that's ok. If your plan is for me to be sick and to die young, that's ok."

Here's what James 1:6-8 has to say about this kind of double-mindedness:

"But let him ask in faith, with no doubting, for he who doubts is like a wave of the sea driven and tossed by the wind. For let not that man suppose that he will receive anything from the Lord; he is a double-minded man, unstable in all his ways.

Friends, we CANNOT hedge our bets! We cannot hedge our prayers. We cannot speak faith out of one side of our mouth, and doubt out of the other side!

What is the result when we do this?

I'm reminded of just how many times (a LOT), Jesus replied to someone seeking healing from Him with, "let it be done according to your faith" or "your faith has healed you"

ACCORDING TO YOUR FAITH

I'll say it as clearly as I'm able...don't let your faith be garbage that's based on what you SEE or EXPERIENCE. Speak the truth of God over your life whether you see it yet or not.

Go ALL IN

Friends, if I'm gonna go down....I'm going down swinging with all my strength.

All in on who God says he is.

All in on what God says Jesus did.

FAITH is not a whimpy Christianese term.

Faith is IT. Faith is ALL we have.

Faith is the ONLY thing that gives us access to the grace of God (Romans 5:2).

Are you with me, friends?

What are you struggling with today? What's causing you pain or fear?

I encourage you to go right NOW to the Word to see what GOD SAYS about your circumstance.

Quick circling the drain in fear and doubt...and get your feet on The Rock.

Have CONFIDENCE in Him today.

Trust what He says even if you don't "see" it yet.

Actively reject fear and shame and doubt.

QUIT. HEDGING.

He is TRUE.

He is FAITHFUL.

He is ABLE.

He is WILLING.

He is WORTHY of our lives lived all-in with Him.

ox Daiq

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Inspecting the Fruit

Contemplating why yesterday afternoon was painful for me.

I felt stressed. Defeated. Frustrated. Ashamed. Fearful. Ugly. Useless.

I had a good sob-fest in my room like any rational adult woman would ;-) And I woke this morning with very puffy eyes...and the voice of the Holy Spirit whispering gently, "wanna talk about it?"

I opened my Bible to Luke chapter 14, which is an interesting series of messages that go something like:

1. Hate all else and follow me
2. Pick up your cross and follow me
3. Count the cost
4. Give up all to be my disciple

Bottom line...surrender ALL to Him.

The Holy Spirit was so tender when He said, "The reason those two areas are so painful for you is because you're insisting on carrying them and they're simply too heavy for you. It'll always hurt you to carry them. And I'll allow them to hurt you because I want you to learn to put them in my hands and to leave them there. Have you had enough yet?"

My whole mind, body, and soul screamed "YES, I've had enough!"

But agreeing isn't the final step.

Actually gathering up all the heavy stuff and RELEASING it to Him is the final step.

Oh Lord, cast that junk FAR away from me so I can't pick it back up even if I foolishly think I want to!

Today is a day to inspect the fruit in different areas of my life.

I'll rejoice and be thankful when I recognize the fruits of a surrendered life...peace and joy and contentment.

And if/when I see evidence of fear, shame, condemnation, or defeat...I'll simply recognize those areas of my life as "big ugly heavy" things that require surrender.

He's a good Father.

He doesn't require our surrender as a way to make us poor.

He asks for our surrender because He knows it's healthy for us, and He wants His beloved to be healthy.

I want what He so compassionately and lovingly offers to lavish on us... all the good stuff.

I want total freedom from all the works of the evil one.

It's what Jesus came to do.

It's why he suffered for the JOY set before Him.

Thank you Lord, and please have the fullness of what You purchased in me and my loved ones.

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Is Jesus Still Healing?

Affiliate link for this book: Christ the Healer, Bosworth

Does God still want to physically heal as Jesus did?

Does God change?

Are Jesus, the Holy Spirit, and God the Father not ONE?

Do they not have the SAME will?

Did Jesus not demonstrate the will of the entire Godhead when He healed all?

Be encouraged, friends. God has not changed. God the Father, Jesus, and the Holy Spirit are ONE. One heart. One mind. One purpose. One character. One name. One will.

He is still saving, healing, and delivering RIGHT. NOW. I've seen it with my own eyes. Hallelujah!

I'm reading this book right now and it's taking SO long to get through it. Not because it's a hard read - it's very easy to read. It's taking me forever because I find myself stopping to underline half the book!

Today's big takeaway that's making me stop to chew and digest truth:

"If sickness, as some think, is the will of God for His faithful children, then it is a sin for them even to desire to be well. This says nothing of spending thousands of dollars to defeat His purpose."

"If sickness is the will of God...every physician is a lawbreaker; every trained nurse is defying the Almighty; every hospital is a house of rebellion, instead of a house of mercy. If this were true, instead of supporting hospitals, we out to do our utmost to close every one."

"If the modern theology of those who teach that God wants some of His worshipers to remain sick for His glory is true, then Jesus, during His earthy ministry, never hesitated to rob the Father of all the glory He could by healing all who came to Him. The Holy Spirit, likewise, robbed Him of all the glory He could by healing all the sick in the streets of Jerusalem. And Paul, too, robbed God of all the glory he could by healing all the sick on the island of Melita."

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Jesus Heals

 

Watching God water the earth and feeling my brain swell and shift and tremble as my thinking framework is turned on it's head...

Saturday is recovery day for me. "Sleep in Saturday", we call it. I love being able to sleep until I can't anymore...and then I lounge in bed thinking about whatever comes to mind...looking out the window...talking with God.

I did a quick check of my phone to make sure I wasn't missing anything urgent with my family, and I saw a message from a friend we (me and another friend) prayed with this last week. I can still picture the terrible swelling in the joints of her hands caused by years of osteoarthritis. I can feel her hands in mine as we prayed for the Lord to heal her of the pain and stiffness.

She wrote this morning to report that the swelling in her right hand is gone and she can close both her hands all the way (!!)

As I stared at the message in awe, I heard the reminder "Why are you surprised? He came to destroy the works of the devil. That means ALL of it. Your entire being is free. Every inch top to bottom. Inside and out. Jesus ransomed it all."

I google to find that verse...1 John 3:8

The word "destroyed" leaps off the page - what does that word mean, exactly?

It is the Greek work Luo "loo-oh", to destroy.

But my study tool makes a point to say "compare to 'rhesso'"....So I go to see what rhesso means (also often used to speak of some sort of destruction). Why did the Holy Spirit use luo instead of rhesso??

The study tool says this about rhesso: "to break, crack, wreck, shatter to minute fragments, BUT NOT A REDUCTION TO THE CONSTITUENT PARTICLES LIKE LUO"

Woah!!!

Luo: to melt, loosen, break up, destroy, put off, to set free, to annul, to deprive of authority, to declare unlawful, to overthrow and do away with (Thayers)

Jesus came to "luo" the works of the devil. He didn't just release a wrecking ball to break it down and leave a mess behind. He utterly destroyed...melted...annulled...overthrew...REDUCED IT TO THE CONSTITUENT PARTICLES.

As I write, I think of a greasy cooking dish with a bit of spaghetti sauce floating on the surface of the water. A single drop of dish soap added to the water, and you know what happens to that greasy mess. It doesn't stay and fight it out with the soap...it practically flies in the opposite direction of the soap.

The nature of the grease and the soap are SO utterly in opposition to one another that the grease is physically unable to stay in the same space where the soap is dropped. There's no battling it out - the soap is simply more powerful.

And as we swirl the soap around in that pan, the grease has no fight to offer. It's dissolved. Loosened. Melted. Broken down to particles that can't stick and make a mess any longer. It's simply and easily rinsed away as the soap does it's job.

It's a crude example, but a good visual.

A single drop of The Blood does the same to the works of the devil. We don't have to strive and fight. We simply agree with Jesus, and invite the Holy Spirit to apply the finished work of Jesus to our lives.

"Resisting the devil" is not a striving and fighting. It's speaking out the TRUTH of Jesus's victory.

It's like a single drop of soap in a greasy pan.

We ask and plead and beg for God to heal and save and deliver...

...meanwhile, we stand at the sink with a GALLON of dish sop, wondering why the pan won't clean itself.

Apply the soap to that greasy dish, friend.

APPLY THE BLOOD!

It's fully available to us. It's infinitely powerful.

SPEAK it because the power of life and death are in the tongue.

You only need a drop, but why stop there when an infinite OCEAN of healing and wholeness is available?

God isn't stingy. He's not expecting you to use a drop, and then work the rest out on your own.

Just DIVE right into that ocean of grace, friend. Dive in and be saturated. Live in it. See how easy and light the burden is that He asks you to carry. Enjoy the peace and joy He offers.

If you're feeling like you're drowning in fear, overwhelm, shame, and hopelessness...you're simply and needlessly dying of thirst.

Come to to the fountain. Come to the ocean of grace. Watch as the work of the devil is utterly destroyed in your life as the Truth is applied.

Be saved.
Be healed.
Be delivered.

It's what Jesus came to do

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The Root of Dread, Resentment, Weariness

I woke up this morning feeling such a heavy feeling of DREAD.

Real talk…I hate to say it, but I always feel dread on days when I have ministry sessions :-(

So I took it to the Lord and asked what this is. I don’t want to keep feeling this awful way!

“You dread the hard work you’re about to do. You dread taking so much time to sit and work with someone when you have so many other things that you want to do”

So I asked why it’s so heavy and exhausting for me. Isn’t this just a normal thing to feel when we’re doing good and important work for the Lord?

“No. You learned that from the spirit of religion”

Wait, what?

“Religion says to work hard for me. I say my yoke is easy and I offer you rest. Who are you believing?”

Dang

Ok what about the time thing…how can I avoid feeling restless and resentful when I feel like doing something else?

“Religion says hustle and grind because time is short. Time’s a wastin’. I remind you that I am the keeper of time. I can redeem the hours you spend in this. Again, who are you believing?”

And…dang again

So, once again I put this ministry  in His hands. I show up to every session empty handed and trust Him to do the heavy work. I will rest and be patient as I give my time…with the faith that there will be time for all important things today.

I was blessed recently by a friend sharing that God had a vision of our ministry team - each person had their own special wardrobe and weapon as we went to battle.  But what she saw of me didn't include any weapons or armor! 

I confess, I had the fleeting thought…where is my armor? My weapons?  I’m just standing on a big rock looking at God with a smile on my face?!

Yup. That’s exactly right.

I’m standing on THE Rock

Smiling

Resting

Feeling the wind in my hair

Wearing the simple crown of a well-loved daughter

Trusting

Waiting

Watching Him

Worshiping Him as He does what He does best…being God

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Love Who?

Jesus: "love your neighbor as yourself"

Spirit of religion: "You're an unlovable wretched sinner"

Several years ago, I was exercising to a song called "I love me" (Megan Trainor I think). As I be-bopped along to the catchy tune I heard the Holy Spirit whisper, "Do you?"

I literally stopped in my tracks.

"Is this song evil, Lord? Should I not be listening to it? Am I even supposed to love myself? That feels/sounds arrogant."

His reply... "Well maybe I should change the command to say 'love others more than yourself' then" with a wink and a smile

All at once His truth washed over me...the assumption in the command to love others as myself is that OF COURSE I love myself.

If I can't follow this most basic command because I've learned to "humble" myself to the point of loathing myself...how can I expect to be of any use at all for the Lord's purposes?

Have you noticed how the enemy uses truth, and twists it just a smidge? It still SEEMS true...but it only RESEMBLES truth.

Resembling truth is not the same as BEING truth.

This is one of those times. Humility makes sense and is proper before a holy God.

But that doesn't mean we spend our lives beating ourselves up and constantly being in grief about our sin.

Our thoughts about ourselves should reflect God's thoughts about ourselves. We are called to have the mind of Christ. So what does He say about you?

You're forgiven

You're loved

You're seating in the heavenlies

You're a friend of His

You're adored

You're a delight

You have purpose and calling

You have spiritual gifts

You're useful

You were saved, healed, and delivered

You are free

You have all you need

You are protected

You are adopted and fully accepted

You are able and welcome to enter the presence of God any time

I could go on and on and on...the Word is FILLED with beautiful revelations of what Jesus purchased for us on that wretched cross!

If you feel at all less than what God says about you, then friend...I lovingly say to you...you've fallen for a lie.

You have a real enemy who steals and kills and destroys. If you're living hurt and defeated and lost, then the enemy has stolen something from you.

As a believer, you have the authority to take it back. TAKE IT BACK!

Love yourself

Love yourself like God loves you

Get healed and whole and restored

THEN you can love others as you love yourself...and you'll love them well!

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