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We made it home last night around midnight. Vacation was wonderful. Unfortunately, the "magically erase things from the to do list" fairy failed to visit me while I was away. Running around here trying to dig us out of our suitcases while still taking the time to make oatmeal cookies and dance in the living room with my two little babes.

I'll update with photos soon.

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Stretched to the Limit

*FAIR WARNING* This is a woe-is-me post full of whining. If you're looking for a good laugh, this is not the place for you today (I recommend you Google "sleeping dog runs into wall video" - makes me laugh every time). If you're looking for the real Daiquiri here and now, then brace yourself. I'm in dire need of a vacation.

The past couple of weeks have been a whirlwind of ...life. Just plain life. I'm tired. I'm overwhelmed. My kids are cranky. My house is a mess. My "to do" list is gigantic. I feel fat and ugly at every level. Clearly, I'm not doing this right. Clearly, I'm focusing my energy in the wrong areas.

A few indicators that something has to give:

- I just took a shower. For the first time in days. I HATE not having a shower each day. How did I not manage to take the time to do something so simple and SO necessary?

- I've been staying up until midnight and getting up at 7. For some people, that might be enough sleep. For me, about 10 hours is barely enough. I haven't been getting enough.

- "Hannah Montana, The Movie" made me bawl like a baby last night. What the heck...

- I'm quite certain that I've consumed more calories in iced mochas than in actual food in the past two weeks. I can't remember the last time I've actually eaten a vegetable.

- I also can't remember the last time I've taken the time to exercise in any form. Or to just stretch. I feel like a hunchback from sitting in front of this computer for so many hours.

- I can't remember the last time I've taken a photo just for the sheer joy of it. The last time I tried to take a picture of one of my own kids it was all I could do to keep from screaming "JUST HOLD STILL AND QUIT HORSING AROUND SO I CAN TAKE A STINKING PICTURE!!!" Burn out? Maybe.

- I'm on the verge of running away. As if running away will fix a single thing. Every time something happens that rocks my unsteady little boat I think "Let's move. Start over. I don't know or care where. Let's just get the hell out of here."

- Don't talk to me about money. I'll just start to cry.

- My own perfectionism is killing me. KILLING me. I'm so sick of ME. Can't I just be someone else for a little while? Someone who doesn't care if the floor isn't scrubbed, or that the photo isn't quite right because I had the aperture set wrong, or that my Christmas shopping isn't even started yet?

- Luke was good enough to take ALL of the kids with him to the store this morning. I thought it would be a good time to get some uninterrupted housework done. Instead, the words spilling from the radio...a worship song, brought me to sitting in the middle of the kitchen floor and sobbing like I haven't done in a long time.

- Great. I just started crying again at the mere thought of taking a moment to simply BE in His presence. Less of me, more of Him. That's what I need.

There is good news though - we're leaving for vacation TOMORROW. Praise God. We're going to Wisconsin for a week, and do you know what we're going to do while we're there? I have no earthly idea! For all I know, we'll sit around while the kids set puzzles and play Uno. We'll drink wine and eat wonderful food. I'll even help make the wonderful food without thinking about all the housework or fun kids' projects of photo stuff I should be doing. We have no plans, and I'm thrilled about that.

Sorry to leave on such a sour note. I'd prefer to offer some tidbit of inspiration or joy or...something positive. But as it is, I can't even think of a way to wrap up this post.

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Photography Goodies

Evidently, 'tis the season for photography! I've been blessed with so many wonderful clients that I actually had to turn someone away the other day. Crazy! I'm bracing myself for the winter months, when I'm sure things will come to a screeching halt. I won't mind. It will be a good time to focus on my family stuff. I might even get some scrapbooks done!

I've become rather trained (think Pavlov's dogs!) to respond with much drool and tail wagging whenever the UPS or FedEx truck stops in front of my house. It feels like my birthday every 3 days or so!

I thought I'd share some of my fun today. First, you just have to see what I got for my own living room wall. I'm crazy about them! I posted a picture at my photography blog HERE. Seriously...go see. I'll wait here...

Oh, you're back. See? Cool, eh?

Want to see the next thing that made me drool? THIS pretty package. It was my very first custom Christmas card design fulfillment, and it was so awesome to see how they turned out!

Sorry to be sending you all over the place to see fun stuff. Just a couple more...

Making collages and cards with photos has become a real joy for me! I just can't get enough of drop shadows, frames, textures...so fun! I'd love for you to check out my most recent collages (some of my favorite yet, I think). What do you think??

And finally...just ONE more goodie... Can you gues what this is (HINT: Wisconsin Yaya and Papa, you're going to want to check this out)?? Click HERE to see.

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My Daily Bread

I haven't been very good about reading the Bible lately. I go through times where I can't get enough, and then I go through times when I can't seem to take a moment to sit and read.

But this morning, while I was eating my breakfast of re-heated homemade taquitos with fresh salsa (thanks to my sister and her hubby who made the taquitos for us the other night), I opened that wonderful book.

True to His nature, there was no "Where have you been?"....rather is was "Look what I have for you today!"

I read no more than 5 verses and I got stuck. I got stuck reading the same verse over and over again. It was the verse He wanted to show me today:

"But Jesus turning and seeing her said, "Daughter, take courage; your faith has made you well." At once the woman was made well." Matthew 9:22

What was it about this verse? Normally, it would be the miraculous healing that would catch my eye. This time, though, it was the word "Daughter." How have I never seen that before?!

Jesus turned to a woman who was a total stranger to him - to a woman who was sneaking up behind him to touch him - almost as if to sneak a healing out of him. She was a woman who had been plagued by disease for 12 years, and had likely been ostracized from her community because of it.

Jesus turned to her, and he did not call her "woman". He did not call her "Miss" or "Ma'am". He did not call her by her common name like everyone else.

He called her Daughter.

My, how one little word can speak such volumes! Daughter...not merely a word to address someone, but a word to express relationship. He turned to an apparent stranger who was coming to him in faith, and he called her "daughter."

How would that look like today? What would your reaction be if you approached a man on the street, and he immediately took to calling you his daughter? It wouldn't go over very well, would it? In fact, it would be downright unacceptable...you might even doubt the man's sanity. Personally, I'd be looking for the nearest safe place to escape to!

"Daughter" is a very personal and meaningful word, and not one to be used among strangers or in the wrong context.

Not only does this exchange between a woman and Jesus express the relationship between them, it clearly describes just WHO Jesus is. If she was "daughter", then Jesus is left to the "Father" role. Indeed, he and the Father are one. Jesus, the Father in flesh, came to earth to heal and save and set free.

Think about it! Read that verse for yourself. Close your eyes and try to picture the scene. Try to picture the look on Jesus' face as he turned to her and addressed the woman who was coming to him for healing. See the faces of the disciples who were following and watching closely to see how Jesus would handle the approaching woman. See the face of the woman as she tried to sneak in a simple touch of Jesus' cloak.

What do you think was the more meaningful moment? That moment when she realized that her disease of 12 years had been healed...or the moment Jesus the Christ turned to her with love and compassion in his eyes and called her "Daughter"?

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The Vacant Space

I have a confession. I've been holding out on you.

I found a blog that is challenging and changing me like none other, and I just can't NOT share any longer. You can find it HERE (The Internet Binge). The amazing woman who writes this blog is actually someone I love and respect very much. She is my sister-in-law (married to Luke's brother). You might recognize her voice...Esther comments here from time to time.

After blogging each day for a month, Esther is stepping away from the internet for an entire year. No blogs. No email. No Google. No You Tube. No news pages. Nothing. Zilch. Nada. Cold turkey! Think about it!! Does it make your blood run a little chilly? It does mine! What would I DO without the internet?!

But here's the question of the hour...WHY?

Why does the idea of no internet access make me feel almost frantic?

Esther recently wrote about being a SAHM and how the internet helps to fill an empty space. The way she wrote it...it took my breath away! She said:

"They [children] force you to make space for them and then they don't fill it"

How beautiful and perfect is that statement. It really got me thinking about the vacant space that feels like it sits in the middle of my chest. I'm always feeling like I'm overwhelmingly needed. My to do list is infinite. The people who surround me are constantly in my face and near me and ON me (and don't get me wrong, I love it!). So how can I so often feel bored and lonely? It's that vacant space. When I'm forced away from the internet for a period of time - even just days or a week. That empty spot leaves me literally wandering around the house...a nibble of a chip here...a watering of a plant there...an adjusting of a crooked photo on a wall...a glance at myself in the mirror...thumbing through a magazine... Eventually I sit and rest and go to that space. It's then that I realize that it's in that spot that God resides. Why do I spend so much time filling that space with busy work and avoiding Him, I wonder? Maybe I'm the one who should be finding the big "OFF" switch on the internet.

What about you? Where would you be without the internet?

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Samantha Ruth ~ 4 Years Old

Oh, my sweet Sammy...Happy Birthday! You are four years old today, and simply put, you are a little bundle of wonderful walking around on 2 legs. I adore you.

You an incredible blessing to Daddy and me, Samantha. You truly feel like a gift straight from heaven. You are sweet and kind. You are creative and funny. You are thoughtful and loving.

It feels a bit like these past 4 years snuck up on me! It seems like just yesterday that I was commenting on how peaceful and gentle you were, even while still in my tummy! You rolled and kicked quietly, almost as if you didn't want to disturb me. Except when the worship music at church got going...then you would almost knock the wind out of me with all the rockin' out you were doing in there!

You are a wonder. You love (LOVE) books. You love to pretend. You love music (still!). You enjoy painting and drawing and play dough. It makes me impossibly happy that you love to spend time with you Mommy too! If we could sit and read books, make cookies, clean the house, and wash dishes together all day...that might be your perfect day. With Spaghettios and meatballs for lunch :-)

There has never been a day in your life that you have been unloved. As long as I live, there never WILL be a day like that. I love the smell of your sweet warm neck in the morning as you wrap your soft and gentle arms around my neck for a good morning hug. I love the silky blonde curls that cascade down your back. I love that even when you're trying to be grumpy, those dimples always give you away. I love that all of your artwork is filled with love and hugs and joy. I love your sweet little voice when you whisper, "I have a secret for you, Mama."

A vital part of my fragile heart resides within you, my precious daughter. Grow strong and good. Grow happy and joyful. Grow to be nothing less and nothing more than YOU.

And, um, if you could manage to do all of that while living within a 10 mile radius of me, I'd surely appreciate it!

Happy Birthday, sweetie. Happy every day.

Love,

Mommy

Meeting your big sister for the first time (still in the delivery room!):

Meeting your big brother for the first time:

There was never any question about if you'd have dimples!:

Your brothers and sister love you so much!

You always loved bath time:

Your first Easter, 2006:

Your first swimming suit:

My beautiful baby girl:

Snuggling with Daddy:

You scared us half to death when you had ITP:

Silly 2 year old Sammy smiles:

You're a big sister!

"Feeding" your baby the way you saw Mama feeding her baby:

Sisters:

Your first day of preschool:

You always have a smile...I love your laugh :-)

Sweet little lady:

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Fix it Friday

I haven't been taking the time for Fix it Friday lately, but how could I pass this up? Look at this gorgeous child and beautiful shot!

I didn't do a whole heck of a lot. Cropped it a bit, brightened it up, boosted contrast a tad, and sharpened the eyes. Here's my after:

I also really like this one in black and white:

Just for kicks, I popped it into one of my holiday cards - I think it was made for it!

Happy Friday everyone! Thanks for stopping by - don't forget to go see everyone else's "fixes" over at I &heart; Faces :-)

PS. If you want to see more of my cards, click HERE.

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The Many Faces Of Samantha Ruth

I did a professional headshot this past week, and I was trying to get my setup all ready to go. I hung the backdrop, placed the stool, and clicked on the light. But I needed a subject to help me get my camera ready. The parrot just wasn't doing it for me (and, as you can see by the wrinkles in the background, I had some camera adjusting to do).

Along came my Samantha, and she willingly hopped up on the stool for me. Isn't she just the sweetest little peanut?

She chatted and flirted while I clicked, adjusted, clicked. She was quite the little comedy show. Cracked me up!

The most hilarious thing I'd heard in a long long time was, "Mommy, here's my teenager face." And then she did this:

She couldn't stay "teenager" for long though - those dimples gave her away. In fact, if you ask Sammy to draw a picture of herself, she'll draw a circle with arms coming out the sides, legs out the bottom, dots for the eyes and nose, a big smile...and a couple more dots for dimples :-)

Teenager to almost 4 in 2.6 seconds:

Seriously...how SWEET is she?!

Positively ridiculous!

This is the shot that I cropped and put in her birthday invitation:

My sweet little Sammy. Four years ago I was waddling around wondering "was THAT contraction a real one?"

Proof that God Almighty loves little ol' me very very much...He gave me this little girl to raise ♥

PS. See...no more wrinkles in the background :-)

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I'm a Believer!

Remember when I told you about our new "Simplification" project...also known as the "slash the budget by over half and see if Daiquiri loses her mind" project? Well, diving head-first into the couponing world is one of the ways I'm trying to make newly limited grocery budget stretch. Stretch until every single little nickel found between the couch cushions positively screams for mercy. Wait...that might be me screaming.

I kid. Sort of.

I was up until midnight Sunday poring through ads and blogs and coupons. Putting together a plan, organizing shopping lists by store, clipping, sorting, wishing I was editing photos instead. And then I went shopping Monday night after dropping 3 of the kids at AWANA. Daddy drove Thomas around in the store's race car cart while I dashed around the store trying to find the stuff on my list.

Some of my thoughts while shopping:

"Wow! I'm going to get this entire meal for free!"

"Get out of my way lady, I want some of those too."

"Oh Lord, it would sure be nicer to just win the lottery. You created LIFE, God. Can't you please just make a winning lottery ticket materialize in my hand?"

"I don't use this conditioner, but it's FREE. It's sure worth a shot at that price!"

"How the heck am I supposed to make this deal work, when the shelves have been wiped clean of half the stuff I was going to buy?!! GRRRRR!!"

"I know Lord...you CAN...but WILL you? Pretty please?"

"Where's my calculator? Which pile of coupons is that...the pile I've used, will use, want to use only if I have to, or the ones I'm not sure if they'll work for this promotion? WHERE IS MY CALCULATOR?!"

"Holy Moley, that computer just gave me $15 in coupons!"

"Oh MY! I'm actually doing this!"

For those of you who are seasoned couponers, my numbers might not be impressive. But to me, they're VERY exciting!

My before coupon total (what I would have paid if I bought this stuff with no coupons): $126.42

What I paid (after combining coupons with store specials): $53.61

That's a savings of: $72.81 (or 57%)

Now, my first reaction was "WOW!"

My second reaction was, "Yeah, but this store is always more expensive that that other store, so I didn't really save 57%". That may be true. But even if this store averages 20% higher prices than that other store (and it isn't THAT much more expensive), I still saved 37%. Still a great deal.

So my grocery budget was cut in half this month, and I saved 57% during this trip! I'm on my way to actually making this budget work!

Now, Lord...I'm "naming it and claiming it". You WILL let me win the lottery. I know you can do it. I know you want to bless me. I'm standing here in faith. I can't wait to go collect that multi-million dollar check! What? Really? You're not a genie-in-a-bottle kind of God? Okay...I'll keep doing the coupon thing instead ;-)

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Down on the Farm

Wow, did I have a fun weekend! I got to spend a couple of hours with some of my favorite people in the whole wide world. And I got to spend those hours with them here:

Want to see a sneak peek of what I got? Head on over to my photography blog for more....

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Family Tradtions

I love holidays. Not always for what the holiday itself represents, but for the opportunities to celebrate family traditions.

I look at these pictures and I think, "this is the stuff that my children's best memories will be made of." Yes, they'll be made of pumpkin guts :-) And togetherness. And fun. And silliness.

When my little clean freak baby saw people putting their hands in their pumpkins and pulling out the stringy goo, he picked up a napkin and tried using it to get the seeds out! He wasn't so sure about this messy process :-)

Ah, yes...the mandatory "pretend like you're eating the pumpkin guts!" shot. This tradition started with my family as a kid. There are countless photos of me as a child, with my dad appearing to serve me a big goopy spoonful of pumpkin insides!

He's not so sure...

I love the individual looks of all my kids' pumpkins. They get to design their own, and we do our best to carve it according to their wishes. Thomas, of course, got whatever Daddy wanted to carve this year.

My big strong boy...

They weren't satisfied to simply carve this year...the markers came out for extra embellishment after carving.

Clara's plan:

I love this little peanut.

I love that my kids have a silly and fun Daddy. He can be tough. He can be firm. My kids know what to expect from him when they screw up. But the other day my kids were teasing me, and I teased back by saying "I'm going to call Daddy and have him come home to give you a whoopin'".

Long pause. Shifting eyes...looking at each other...looking at me...looking at each other again.

And then giggling. Hysterical silly giggles. The mere idea of Daddy "whoopin'" them was humorous. I love that they obey and respect him...but don't fear him. They climb up on his lap without hesitation and expect to be loved no matter what.

I got a good one :-)

Family time - babies still at home and wanting to spend time with us - tradition - Daddy's love - creative kids....what a joyous belessed life I live!

If you want to read about what brought others a little joy this week, head on over to this week's "Just for the Joy of it" and read on (and contribute some of your own joy).

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