It's a Holy Hunger


I had the strangest experience this past week - I’ve been chewing on it for several days.
There was a single day when it felt like something was seriously “off” in my body. I woke up ravenously hungry, so I had a big breakfast with eggs and veggies and fresh bread.
20 minutes later…STARVING again!
This pattern would last all day. I’ll spare you the details of everything I ate in an attempt to fill the black hole that had apparently appeared in the middle of me.
The feeling of hunger was absolutely insatiable.
It was teetering on the edge of painful.
I just felt like I wanted to curl myself in the fetal position and just…cry. Nothing filled. It was a desperate and deeply physical feeling.
I went to bed hungry and longing despite my very best efforts to fill my belly with (a LOT) of water and nutritious food.
When I woke the next morning…ahhh…sweet relief! The terrible hunger was finally gone!
As I sipped coffee and read the Word that morning, some words popped off the page and me, and the Lord taught me a bit about His heart…
As I read, Luke 14 came to life in a great way, BUT I felt that hunger growing in me again!
Just as I was about to be dismayed and concerned, I came to the place where the man who prepared the banquet said “SO THAT MY HOUSE MAY BE FILLED”, and the voice of the Lord filled my mind…
All at once, I realized that God had answered one of my recent prayers…a prayer that He would give me His heart for His people
The Lord longs to have His house filled.
In the physical, I experienced something near pain and desperation.
Don’t get me wrong. There is nothing desperate in God. He isn’t frantically looking around for a way to fill like I was.
But this I know more than ever… God’s heart for His children is impossibly deep and wide. The longing He has for our hearts is total.
You are loved
You are wanted
He has prepared and planned goodness for you
If God had allowed me to actually carry and experience the fullness of His longing for His children in my body…I think an actual literal black hole would have appeared in my belly! There is simply nothing in the physical realm that can reflect the trueness and goodness of His deep longing and love.
And then last night at our church’s encounter night, I started crying on the drive there (my poor husband 😂). And as worship started, I was inconsolable. Again, I felt insatiable and empty and hungry. SO very hungry way down deep in my soul.
The Father’s heart cries out to His children with a loving desire for them…for all of them…for every part of us to surrender.
There can be no withholding. There can be no excuses. There can be no business deal or relationship or little corner of our lives that can keep us from Him. We must abandon all…ALL… for the treasure of His heart. To abandon all is not a call to poverty. It’s a call to SURRENDER.
As I type, I feel my very spirit trembling within me.
His voice
His heart
His power
He will not be denied a full house.
Come on in, friends.
You’re invited 💕

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