The Mommy Compromise

I will read you Goodnight Moon until I have dreams of a "great green room", and I'll keep reading it because I want you to love reading and using your imagination....and because I love to smell your hair while you sit on my lap during story time.

I will deny you ice cream for dessert when you refuse to eat your vegetables.  You will grow to have a healthy and strong body, and you'll learn that there are natural consequences associated with your choices.

You will sometimes choose to be naughty.  I will discipline you, and I will insist that you apologize to the offended party.  You will learn humility and the peace and healing that is found in being forgiven.

I will sometimes hurt your feelings or treat you unfairly.  You will better understand why it's so important to treat people the way you'd like to be treated.  And when I apologize, you will learn the peace and healing that can be found in forgiving someone.

You might have to dig through the "to fold" laundry basket to find them, but you have clean underwear to wear.

You can choose to dislike the name we gave you, but I will always love it because it reminds me of a time when you were a little bundle of sweet smells and sounds nestled safely in my arms.

Your best friends might someday hurt you by calling you "out of touch", "closed minded", or a "prude".  But I will teach you the truth of Jesus anyway.  I pray you'll let Him be your true best friend.

I understand that you really, really, really want that new toy.  But you don't need another toy (and we don't always have extra money to spend).  You'll learn that you're not entitled to everything you want right now.

You might feel entitled to that toy anyway, and will decide to use your own money to buy it.  You'll learn the value of a dollar, how hard it is to save, and that there's a difference between earning something and being entitled to it.

You might not get a bath every other night, but you will have a clean face and hands, brushed hair and teeth, and clean clothes.  

Your Mommy might seem distracted sometimes by her 'to do' list, the book she's reading, or the phone call she's on...but you will learn that your Mommy is a person too, and that sometimes you have to wait patiently for her to finish what she's doing.

I will make you pick up your toys, and you will learn the difficult but very real burden of responsibility.

Sometimes, Mommy and Daddy will go do something fun without you.  You'll learn that Mommy and Daddy are a team and that we enjoy each other's company.  Hopefully, our relationship will be a strong enough example for you that you never settle for someone less than God's best for you because you're lonely.  It's better to be alone with God than together with the wrong person.

You will sometimes wonder why we ever had more children than one (you).  The world would just be so much easier for you if you were our sole focus and you didn't have to share you toys or room with anyone.  But someday Daddy and I will be in Heaven, and you'll be so glad to have someone to share with.

I will make you say "please" and "thank you" and "excuse me" until we're all just plain sick of hearing me say the words "what do you say?", but you will learn manners because it's a way we communicate respect with the people in our lives.

I will sometimes lose my temper.  I will sometimes spill the milk.  I will sometimes use a voice that is not loving or kind.   You will be a bit shaken to see me stumble, but you'll learn that no one is perfect and that life goes on even when we make mistakes.

Sometimes I'll pick up your toys when you really don't want to do it.  Sometimes I'll let you have ice cream for dessert even when you don't finish your vegetables.  Sometimes I'll buy you that new toy even though you don't need it (and we don't have a whole lot of extra money).  And you'll learn that you're worth spoiling from time to time...and you'll learn that sometimes a Mommy just wants her kids to feel special and cherished no matter the cost. 

Craig and Bethany  – (3/03/2009 11:51:00 AM)  

Oh, I just LOVE this post. Really sums it up. Growing our children into the likeness of Christ, what a masterpiece to partake in. God bless you.

Anonymous –   – (3/03/2009 04:00:00 PM)  

You have beautifully summed up parenting in this heartfelt post. Great writing, Daiquiri.

Lisa  – (3/03/2009 08:27:00 PM)  

I LOVE this post! The stuff we think but never THINK to write.

Lisa@BlessedwithGrace  – (3/03/2009 11:52:00 PM)  

This is a WONDERFUL post. I am SO glad that I stopped by, tonight. I feel just the same. I know most mommies do. You did a great job putting into words, how I feel! AWESOME. I am going to put a link to this post on my blog, today!!

Lisa@BlessedwithGrace  – (3/03/2009 11:59:00 PM)  

I tried to grab your button, from you sidebar. I kept getting the "copyright protected" message and could not copy the code. Just wanted you to know.

Lana  – (3/05/2009 12:33:00 PM)  

I'm going to have to print that and save it for a needed day...
thank you for sharing what is in our Mommy hearts.

Janelle Stollfus  – (3/10/2009 01:34:00 AM)  

What an absolute mirror of my thoughts these days. Daiquiri, you do have wonderful God-given words. Thank you for sharing.

Jen  – (5/10/2010 06:44:00 AM)  

wow, a friend of mine posted this on her blog today and told us to come here to your blog to leave the comments (she gave you all the credit for the post). Anyway, I just wanted you to know how deeply it touched me. So much so that I'm in tears...
If you wanted to go to my blog and see what I'm all about and what's happening in my'd understand why this has me so emotional. Thanks for these beautiful words! You obviously are a wonderful, wonderful mommy!

Jen  – (5/10/2010 06:45:00 AM)  

by the way, my friend is Amy at

Amy  – (5/10/2010 10:07:00 AM)  

I just love this! It totally moved me to tears and I printed it out and hung it by my computer. It's exactly what I need to hear on those rough days to remind me why I do what I do every day. Thank you for sharing your beautiful heartfelt emotions about being a Mom.
Hope it's OK that I linked to this post. It's just so beautiful I had to share it for Mother's Day. :)

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