Make Me Willing, Lord

(This post is cross-posted at Moms In The Right)

As I mentioned earlier this week, I'm reading a wonderful book called Fit For The Master's Use by F.B. Meyer. Page after page, I'm finding these wonderful little nuggets of encouragement and wisdom. If you haven't read it, I recommend it!

Through the past couple of weeks, the Lord has been bringing to my attention the fact that there is something I have not trusted Him with. It's silly, really...not trusting Him. Who better to trust? If I am to put my most precious jewels in anyone's capable care, who could possibly be more capable than He? The answer is obvious: no one.

Not only is it silly to not trust Him since he is far more capable and strong than I am, but also because He loves more than I do. It's hard to imagine how anyone could love my children more than I do - impossible to comprehend for me because I love them with all I am and have. But He's not just anyone, is He? He loves them too, and He also loves them with everything He is and has. And He is infinitely more than I am. He has infinitely more than I have.

And one more reason that it's silly not to trust Him? Because even if I resist with all my little heart and mind...even if I tell God straight out, "They're mine and you can't have them!"...that doesn't change a thing. They are his whether I "give" them to Him or not.

So what's the big deal? What is it about mentally and spiritually holding on to my children so tightly? And if they really belong to Him already anyway, then why is it so important for me to offer them up to Him?

I think that the bigger picture is about my relationship with Him, not about my kids. Do I trust Him or not? Do I surrender all, or not? Do I offer Him all the keys to my life, or do I hold one or two (or 4) back for myself because it's just too scary to give Him everything? Do I trust Him to make good come from my suffering should the worst happen? Do I trust that He is still the great I AM even when bad things happen that I can't understand?

I took comfort knowing that I'm not the only one who has this struggle. Meyer talks about it in his book too. From the "Marred: So He Made It Again" chapter (sorry it's so long, but it's worth it):

"Remember this. When I gave myself to God that night, the devil said:

"Don't do it! If you let God have an inch, He will want an ell. If you yield in one thing, you will have to yield in everything, and there is no knowing what you may not come to."

Ad first, I thought there was something in it. Then I remembered my daughter, who was a little willful then and loved her own way. I thought to myself as I knelt:

"Supposing that she were to come to me and say - 'Father, from tonight I am going to put my life into your hand; do with it what you will.' Would I call her mother to my side and say: 'Here is a chance to torment her. What would mortify her? What color of dress does she hate? What companion does she detest? What method of spending her life does she abhor? Tell me, and I will put her through them all."

I knew I would not say that. I knew I would say to my wife: "Our child is going to follow our will from now. Do you know of anything that is hurting her?"

"Yes; so and so."

"Does she love it much?"


"Ah! She must give it up, but we will make it as easy for her as we can. We must take from her the things that are hurting her, but we will give her everything that will make her life one long summer day of bliss."

God will say that to you. He only takes that one thing away because it will hurt you. But oh! He will give, and give, and give! You have no idea what God will do for you. Say: "I am willing."

But let me make a confession: I did not say that myself. I said: "I am not willing, O God, but I am willing to be made willing."

Go help you to make the same prayer!"

If you, then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask him!
Matthew 7:11

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Kate  – (10/19/2008 08:18:00 PM)  

Absolutely beautiful. I've really been struggling with giving some things up in my life, things I didn't even recognize that I was holding on to. You've given me such encouragement and insight. Thank you.

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