The Apple Of His Eye

There are seasons in my life during which God seems to be absent. I pray, I cry out, I read. I wonder where he went, and often, wonder what I did wrong to deserve abandonment. I know in my head that He is always with me. But my heart? That's too often a different story.

And then He explodes back into my life. The world is brighter. I can see and feel Him everywhere I look. I'm joyful to report that this day is one of those sweet times.

He whispered in my ear this morning as I snuggled my baby boy in the dark cool morning. He was up too early, and felt like snuggling. It was too late in the morning to force him back to sleep, and it was too early in the morning to just jump right to the activities of the day. Both of us sat in our jammies and bed heads and just rocked and snuggled. We admired the quiet gentle feel of the snow covered world out his bedroom window. I smelled his head. I felt the soft warmth of his cheek against mine. Every now and then a light or swaying tree would catch his eye, and he'd pop his head up, point out the window, and look me straight in the eye as if to say, "Hey, look at that!". I'd smile and nod. Reassured that he'd been understood, he'd rest his head back on my chest.

There are some times in my life that I just want to keep vividly burned in my memory forever.

During our snuggle, as I was overwhelmed almost to tears by my love for this child of mine, He spoke to me. "This is how I love you, my sweet girl."

Oh! Is it possible? Can He take such joy in me that sometimes all He wants to do is sit with me on His lap and nuzzle my neck and feel my soft cheek? Is it possible that He really doesn't have a preference about what I do with my life or how I look or what other people think....that all He wants is to be with me and to see me happy and peaceful and fulfilled? Despite my tendency to continually fall into the trap of feeling like I have to DO something to earn His favor...is it possible that all I must do is sit quietly on His lap and let Him take care of me?

Today...that's my goal. I'm going to think about Him and how awesome He is....how perfectly sufficient and beautiful He is. I'm going to dwell on how thankful I am to be His beloved child. I'm going to rest in His capable arms and set aside my desire to DO, BE, GET, PLAN, TRY.

I've been longing for simplicity in my life. Something tells me that a day like this is a great place to start.

Guard me as the apple of Your eye; hide me in the shadow of Your wings.
-Psalm 17:8

Trust in Him at all times, you people; pour out your hearts before Him. God is our refuge.
- Psalm 62:8

Missey~  – (1/06/2009 10:56:00 AM)  

What a beautiful entry. Thank you for sharing.

I really enjoy reading your blog you are a true inspiration.

Ruth A Stiles  – (1/06/2009 11:40:00 AM)  

EXCELLENT POST! how well you put to words what I sometimes feel!

LizC  – (1/06/2009 03:05:00 PM)  

Having children really teaches us alot about how God loves us, doesnt it?

I recently had a time of acute anxiety where I felt abandoned by God. Wondering what He thought of me. He was quiet. Whew - what a time of stretching. I just am beginning to write about it on my blog, if you are interested, stop on by.

Thanks for your beautiful posts - I feel like I know you and your beautiful kids! :)

Lizc

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