Insert Nasaly "Honk" Here

I was driving home from a craft store this morning (picking up a giant stack of blank notecards so I can get busy on them this afternoon when my prints come in).  I was sitting at a red light, which seemed to take FOR.EV.ER (anyone else seen "The Sandlot"?)... but I'm glad it did because as I sat there waiting for a green, I saw an amazing sight.

There were geese.  Lots and lots and lots of them.  And they were walking single file across the street.  I counted about 15 of them, but those were only the ones in the street when I started counting - there were several dozen waiting their turn in line and even more in the field they all were headed to.

It was a sight - that's for sure.

It was just so STRANGE to see all those big birds walking across the street.  It was no small street either - it was a major road with two lanes headed each direction and three turning lanes - seven lanes of traffic came to a halt as we all stared incredulously at this line of geese risking life and wing to go plodding along the concrete.

I wondered...was I the only one?  Was there anyone else watching the scene unfold who had an almost overwhelming urge to get out of my car, go over to the geese, and say "Hello?!  You're a BIRD.  You can FLY.  You might want to try it right about now!"  I might have done it if I didn't know that geese are mean SOB's.  They would have honked at me, charged me with wings flapping, and they would have done their best to peck my eyes out.  One angry goose is enough to make me run the other way.  I wasn't taking a chance with an entire mob of them.

So we sat and waited for them.  And I realized...I'm just like one of those silly old walking geese.

I spend time worrying.

I spend time being grumpy.

I spend time being selfish and feeling sorry for myself.

I repeatedly remind myself of terrible things I've done in my life.  How can God possibly want anything to do with me?

I doubt.

I fear.

And all the while I'm plodding along the street...slowly...dangerously...unhappily.  And all for no particular reason except for the fact that it hasn't dawned on me that I should be doing it differently.

I'm saved.  I'm forgiven.  I'm taken care of.  I'm loved.  I'm blessed.  I'm tucked up under the safest wing that ever was.

Why is it so dang hard to remember and accept those facts?  In fact, I tend to do my own version of honking and wing flapping whenever someone tries to remind me.  Why do I resist?  I don't know.

God has been really working on my heart lately.  I haven't written a whole lot about it - just a post or two - because it feels so...precious...and precarious at the same time.  Like if I talk about it I'll "ruin" it or something.  Just too close to home and personal, you know?  He's been trying to help me really "get" some truths of who I am.

It's exciting, really.  Change can be painful, but I've learned that when He's the one orchestrating it, things always change for the better.  I'm excited to experience life through eyes that can see new feel things with a heart that knows God's fly!

Lisa  – (6/16/2009 11:16:00 AM)  

Love this post!!! Change is good. But you're right, it can be painful!

Unknown  – (6/16/2009 04:29:00 PM)  

Great post! I struggle with the same thing as I'm sure many others do.

Your geese reminded me of the book, "Make Way for Ducklings," one of my favorite childhood books.

Anonymous –   – (6/16/2009 08:33:00 PM)  

Wow! So I'm sitting here searching for SAHM blogs and found you. This is the first post I read... and it smacks me in the face! Hit the nail right on the head! I can relate to everything you have written here. I wonder sometimes why it just can't be a little easier?!

Thank you for posting this! Looking forward to reading more!

Amy Krupinski  – (6/16/2009 09:21:00 PM)  

You outdid yourself today :)
You have such a seeking heart. God loves those ;) God bless.

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