I'm finding out that I'm quite the little whiny girl.  A weenie.  A whimp.

This 1/2 marathon I've signed up to do really has me stressing! I ran just over 3 miles on Tuesday, and just over 4 last night.  And I felt good after my run last night - really good - like I could have gone longer.  But then as I was standing in the kitchen doing dishes after a leisurely, dinner, it dawned on me...if I had set out to run 13 miles instead of 4?  I'd still be running right now.  That realization did something strange to my tummy.  It made my dinner do a summersault and by bladder scream "gotta go now!"  

But then I thought, hey - I'm just getting started here.  Saturday I'll run 4 and a half, maybe 5.  Sunday I'll try to kick it up to 6.  I'm pushing pretty hard to get my distance up so that I have time to do some trails and hills before the big day.  Yeah.  Listen to me.  I'm in training.

And then I hopped on the Robie Creek website this morning to get some info.  What I learned made my tummy and bladder do that thing again.  The first 8 1/2 miles (eight and a half MILES) are all.  UP.  HILL.  In those first 8 1/2 miles we climb 2,072 feet.  On a dirt trail.

This run has consumed by brain lately.  The fear.  The excitement.  The planning.  And what I'm learning about myself isn't entirely pleasant.  I fear that I'm physically just...weak.  And mentally?  Even more weak.

13 miles, folks.  I've never run 7 miles in my life, never mind 13.  Never mind up hill.  Never mind in the mountains where the oxygen isn't what I'm used to.  Never mind on a dirt trail.

Thankfully, they allow iPods.  That's truly my saving grace right now.  I've learned one thing - a good sermon or lecture totally takes my mind off my pain (maybe I should have tried a good book on tape while in labor with the kids).  And when the sermon is over...I'll move on to the Black Eyed Peas.  Call me a hypocrite if you'd like, but I'm gonna do what I gotta do to get up that hill.  There's a place for "Hold Me Jesus", and there's a place for "Shake Your A$$ Girl".  On that mountain?  I'm gonna save the Jesus music for the downhill!

Will the Lord answer my plea for help if I'm calling out to him while raunchy music straight from the Pit of Hell is blasting my ear drums?

See?  Weak.

Unknown  – (2/20/2009 09:45:00 AM)  

You're cracking me up with your Ipod diversity. Mine's the same way ... Hillsongs right next to Justin TImberlake's "Sexy Back." Sometimes those songs just make you run faster.

I'm killing myself running 3 miles, can't imagine 13 or 7. Keep it up. You're making me motivated to run this afternoon.

Anonymous –   – (2/20/2009 10:06:00 AM)  

Wow..is all I can say! You go on with your bad self..I can't even run with you around the neighborhood! I think Robie will be awesome..have fun! Let me know if you want to go run on the treadmill at the gym. I'll walk..LOL!
I know what you mean about the music. Sometimes Britney just makes me move faster.
Hope to see you soon,

Mel  – (2/20/2009 12:51:00 PM)  

Hooray for you!!! That is great you are in training!!!

Beth in NC  – (2/21/2009 07:28:00 AM)  

Well, I'm already proud of you! I have never been a runner and I can't imagine running A MILE!!! So you are doing great in my book! :o)

Anonymous –   – (5/15/2010 08:30:00 PM)  

I'm so proud of you! I started reading your blog as I was looking for a salsa recipe and ended up reading a bunch of posts!! I really admire you! Keep up your hard work!

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