Me & Coffee...We Just Don't Get Along

Ahhh, coffee. I love how the stuff smells. Sometimes I like to just pull the big tin of coffee out of the pantry and give it a big whiff.

I've never really been a coffee drinker though. My first real experience with coffee was when I was in high school. I had a student internship at a local high tech company, and coffee drinking was a way of life. I decided to give it a try. I loaded it up with chocolate, sugar, an cream. I actually enjoyed how it tasted! I had several cups, and felt like quite the real grown up sitting there with my cup of coffee.

And then...I learned something very important about coffee. There is a LOT of caffeine in coffee. And do you know what caffeine is? It is a very...I mean VERY...effective diuretic. Especially for a young girl who is not a coffee drinker. I spent that day...well...not being a very productive employee. That's enough about that!

My relationship with coffee would take yet another turn during our first year of marriage. We hosted Thanksgiving dinner at our house (maybe Christmas? can't remember...must have blocked it out). There was the two of us and 5 other adults...hubby's mom, grandparents, brother, and sister-in-law. We had a nice dinner despite the hideous gravy and dry turkey. I gained a new appreciation for my own mom and her amazing ability to put a spectacular dinner together.

One thing that I was really proud of was my pies...homemade...from scratch...beautiful and delicious! But everyone knows you have to have coffee with your pie, right? I had thought of everything - even the coffee. I set the coffee to brewing while I cut the pies and whipped the cream. It was going to be perfect!

All I can say is that hubby's family is very gracious. They choked down that coffee with their pie without a word.

It wasn't until it was time to do the dishes that I realized that something was wrong. I went to clean out the filter and grounds from the coffee maker....but there was nothing there! Sure, there was a filter...but it was totally empty. I was baffled.

"Hey, I thought that there was usually coffee grounds left over after brewing coffee?!"

"There should be!"

"Well, there's not anything here!"

"What? What do you mean?"

"Look for yourself!"

"What the...well, let me see the coffee you used."

"It's this stuff" (I hand over the container of coffee)

"Daiquiri...this is instant coffee!"

I wish I could say that I immediately understood what that meant, but it took someone explaining the difference between normal coffee grounds and instant coffee. Ah, put the coffee maker away. I'm not doing that again for a while.

But coffee just will NOT leave me alone. A lot of people drink coffee. For a long time, I cited ignorance (I don't drink it, and don't know how to make it) for not brewing a pot of coffee. But then we started hosting a weekly Bible study at our house, and the coffee maker came out again. I finally figured out how to make coffee that most people seem alright about drinking.

Every now and then, though, the coffee gods have to show me who's boss. My brother and sister-in-law are in town again (ironically, the same couple who witnessed the Instant Coffee Fiasco of '97). I went to brew coffee for them before they came downstairs. I don't know how it happened, but I ended up dumping a giant Costco-sized container of coffee on my kitchen floor and rug.

Coffee is of the devil, I tell ya. The devil! (But I admit, it's pretty yummy with some caramel creamer)

Kimberly S  – (3/18/2008 12:05:00 PM)  

I love your instant coffee story--too funny!

I am a coffee drinker, but I am the lone one in our house. Every time we have guests, I have to recruit one to fix the coffee since I have no idea how to make more than a cup at a time.

I was first introduced to coffee in high school, when I was doing a summer thing at UofA. I had a friend who liked coffee, and we went to the Coffee Plantation, and he ordered us each the same thing (he couldn't remember what it was later; I eventually figured out it was the equivalent of a caramel macchiato.) He got the biggest size, full caff, at 8 pm. You'd think I would have seen what was coming, since I knew about the effects of caffeine, but I just don't think people think about such things until they've experienced it personally. So it's maybe 1 in the morning, and I'm laying in bed talking to my roommate Keisha NONSTOP. "Wow, Keisha, I'm sorry I'm talking so much, you probably want to go to sleep, but I just can't seem to stop talking. Seriously. I can't stop. This is the weirdest thing. I'm going to kill Keith tomorrow for getting me that coffee. I'm really sorry. I'll try to stop. Did I ever tell you about the time..." She was just laughing at me, she thought it was the funniest thing in the world, all the more because I was really introverted and quiet up until that point (the coffee brought out my inner chatterbox.)

Crystal  – (3/18/2008 03:22:00 PM)  

I love Coffee, I can't get enough of it!!!! I laughed out loud at your story of using instant coffee. Too funny!!! Blessings-

Becky Avella  – (3/18/2008 05:01:00 PM)  

No, no, no!!!! Coffee is straight from heaven. : )

I heard that your hubby drank a Quad shot mocha this weekend! I was shocked. I've never even done that!

I think you both are coming over to the java side.

: ) Becky

Anonymous –   – (3/18/2008 07:50:00 PM)  

but i bet your kitchen smelled delicious after that =)

Theresa  – (3/19/2008 07:42:00 PM)  

I is the devil. He tempts me every morning. I have to use the International French Vanilla creamer which has about 9000 calories in it. You use that stuff and you don't even need sugar. For me coffee is all about the cream and sugar.

I don't go to Starbuck's because I don't know how to order a REAL coffee...too many choices. Give me Folgers any day.

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