If Something Can Steal Your Joy (PART 2)

 

Typically, all I need to do to get the incessant thoughts running through my mind to stop is to write it out. That's what I did yesterday...yet...here we are haha!


I shared yesterday about my journey the last 18 months and how it became clear to me that the Lord had been scrubbing my life and heart clean of idols.  I didn't really think about those things as idols until I heard the quote "If something can steal your joy, it's become an idol".

SO many things...good things, even!...had become "idols" based on that quote's reasoning.  My joy was unhealthily rooted in things other than the Lord, which left me tossing from joy to despair based on life's circumstances.  


But in my sharing the way I did yesterday, did I leave people feeling dread, fear, or worse...did I leave people thinking that God is cruel or unfeeling?  I want to clear that up right this minute!


The heart of God is kind, gentle, and tender.  AND He's fierce in His love and devotion to His children.  The Bible even describes Him as a jealous God. (Exodus 20:4-5)  In fact, this section of scripture is speaking specifically about idol worship!


We have a confused way of thinking of jealousy.  In our culture, we often confuse holy jealousy with mere coveting.  God is not wringing His hands wishing He had something someone else has (coveting).  "Jealousy" in this passage refers to a passionate zeal.  Uncompromising.  Unwilling to share what belongs to Him.

Bottom line - He takes His relationship with us VERY seriously.  He is in covenant with His people.  It's an emotional and legal agreement that He sealed with His own blood - that's how serious it is to Him!

"Jealousy" as we often use the word gives the impression of pettiness or silliness.  There is nothing petty or silly about this though.


Instead, this is like a husband's protective and passionate heart for his precious bride.  Do we criticize a man for loving his wife and not wanting her affections to be for another?  Of course not!  Devotion and single-mindedness to a spouse is beautiful and holy.  In fact, earthy marriage is meant to be a reflection of God and His bride, the Church (Ephesians 5:32).



THAT is the kind of jealousy we're talking about here.  



So did "God hurt me" because of the idolatry in my life?

I endured some pain, yes.  But it was MY actions that caused the pain, not God's.  



An illustration:  Think of a rough piece of wood.  A child wants to know how it feels, so they reach out their hand to feel it's texture.  Their loving parent says, "Watch out!  That will leave you with slivers of wood in your hand!"...yet the curious child runs their hand along the wood anyway.

Big surprise...a hand full of slivers is the result.

The loving parent carefully and gently pulls the slivers out to stop the pain and to avoid infection.  But the process of pulling them is painful in itself!

So...is the parent to blame here?  Did the parent cause the suffering?  The parent did what was necessary to protect the long term health of the child, and it was a painful process.  But the root cause of the overall suffering was the child being out of order (disobedient).




It's similar in my idolatry lesson... 

The process for removing the "slivers" was necessary for my long term overall health, and most importantly, for my relationship with the Lord.  And the process stung a bit.



But the reason the slivers were there were all on me.  Not that I willfully disobeyed...I was just way too "self" focused....what made sense to me?  What was logical?  What made the human financial math work? What were other humans saying?



The Kingdom of God is not logic and mathematical and based on man's thoughts or words.



Often times, the Kingdom seems backwards and upside down.  This makes me think of the scripture about "seeing in a mirror dimly" (1 Corinthians 13:12).  Maybe it's ACTUALLY and LITERALLY like we're looking in a dim mirror...maybe that wasn't a figure of speech at all!  Maybe the TRUTH is literally backwards from what I'm seeing, just like my reflection in a mirror is backward from what others see when they see me "face to face" (1 Cor 13:12 again).

So we're asked to walk by faith, not by sight (2 Cor 5:7)

We sometimes think of living by faith as difficult because (by definition) we can't SEE what's going on, and we're taught early that "seeing is believing".  But could it be that this is a very practical way of instructing us since everything "by sight" is actually backwards?


Walking by sight will lead us the wrong way nearly every single time.  We are instructed to follow the leading of the Lord by faith...to live in a way where we know and trust Him so much, that we simply do and go whatever and wherever He leads. (Proverbs 16:9)

This is the process of "Sanctification" (1 Thes 5:23, John 17:17).  I was saved when I surrendered to the Lordship of Jesus for my life...but I've been a work in progress ever since.  We're called to grow to be more like Jesus every day (sanctification)...and sometimes the process means that some deeply rooted stuff needs to be pulled, pruned, and unlearned.  The more deeply attached I am to the unhealthy stuff, the more it stings to have it pruned.



This is what death to self looks like. (John 12:24)



This is what picking up a cross and dying for God's higher purpose looks like. (Luke 9:23)



And I'm all in.



I'm all in because the Lord has nurtured me into a more patient, trusting, peaceful, and joyful woman after having some of the junk pruned.  Not despite the process...BECAUSE of the process.  He is gentle and kind and patient.



And I'm all in because I love Him with my whole heart.



I want Him to find in me a devoted, committed, passionately in love bride.  I want Him to be honored by my trust in Him.  I want my life to reflect His goodness so that others who He loves will trust Him too.  I want His Kingdom to grow and for His precious blood to receive all that was purchased on that cross.



Rest easy, friends.  We don't have to fear our good Father.  Even in the challenging seasons, He is there and He is taking good care of us.

Read more...

If Something Can Steal Your Joy...

 

This quote from yesterday's sermon was like a gut-punch that just keeps sticking with me: "If something can steal your joy, it's become an idol in your life".

I literally gasped when he spoke the words.

All at once, I had a crystal clear picture of what the Lord's been doing in my life this past year. 

He's been stripping me of idols!

Scenes from the last 18 months play through my mind like a movie:

... a business I'd built for 14 years: just **poof** gone

... that business was our family's bread and butter, and we'd just signed on a new house 

...  my health went bonkers - a torn meniscus in each knee, hormones going crazy, and kidney stones so big they had to be surgically removed. Weariness, exhaustion, and so so SO much physical pain.

... a couple relationships that I was heavily invested in...my heart was WAY out there trusting some people...and it came crashing down in hurt and disappointment

... plans and promises that seemed like a sure thing - stuff I was looking forward to, dreaming about, and feeling wildly excited about...wound up being a dead end that left me feeling directionless, purposeless, and discarded..."demoted" is a word I kept thinking about in that tough season of disappointment

I suffered with times of fear and grief

But I also felt sincere and abiding joy.  My husband even commented that the "Daiquiri from a few years ago would never have walked through the last 18 months the way you did".   This is only because the Lord Himself walked me through it


Along the way, the Lord was faithful to be whispering in my ear and meeting with me in worship.

"Forgive", He whispered


I chose to be relentless about forgiveness because, well, He said so...and also because I know how dangerous it can be when forgiveness turns into bitterness.  Even so, a root of bitterness took hold... So the Lord delivered me from it like only He can.  

"Trust in Me instead of physicians", He instructed
(2 Chronicles 16:12)

So I learned to speak His Word over the "diagnosis" and "prognosis" from the doctor.  As I vocalized the promise of healing for my body roughly 100 times a day, the finished work of the Cross was applied to my throbbing knees, and I was healed.

My kidneys...well that was a lesson learned the hard way for me.  I listened to the doctor and believed every word she said about the pain I was in for if I didn't have surgery.  I got scared, and booked the surgery immediately.  

As I writhed in pain the night of surgery, no pain medicine seemed to touch the searing pain in my body.  


I cried out to Him, "Where are you?!  Please help!"


"Who said you needed surgery?" was His reply


All at once, I realized I'd never even asked Him about surgery for my kidneys!  I trusted Him for my knees, saw Him work a miracle, and then just jumped right back to trusting the doctor!


I'm not against medical intervention - God gives us doctors to help us.  But HE is the GREAT PHYSICIAN...He is the One who is our "primary provider".  And with my kidneys, I didn't so much as get His opinion.  


I apologized, and His grace and mercy and peace flooded me.  Lesson learned!


"Remember Who I Am",  He whispered as I received the heart-pounding news that my business was just dissolved.


The budgetary math was absolutely not adding up.  The payments FAR outweigh(ed) the income.


Panic threatened to overtake me - as my thoughts spiraled, He met me there again and said more loudly, "Remember Who I Am".

As I grieved and cried one day, I asked the Lord what was happening.  

"Pruning", He replied


"Can I be so bold as to ask what exactly you're pruning?", I asked


"I'm pruning you of Self-Sufficiency", He whispered


And oh, how those pruning shears stung!


The bottom line...I am not provider or planner in my life. He is.


He is the keeper of time, resources, and keys to the doors.  Not me.


As a "strong and independent" business woman, I was relying on my own wits.  My own wisdom.  My own "make it happen" abilities.


People
Plans
Promises (from humans)
Resources
Health


These are some of the areas of my life I was finding joy in...and when they left, broke, changed, and disappointed...my joy was affected.


The way of the world teaches us that all these things are fine and good....important, even.


And when they're rooted in Christ, the ARE good.


But when they're so important to me that they have the power of joy and/or despair over me...that's a signal that they've taken on a life of their own.


It's a signal that I've placed those things on the throne in my life that is reserved ONLY for the King.


"If something can steal your joy, it's become an idol".  May it never be so again!


Thank you, Lord...for clearing the throne room of my heart of anything I'd valued or trusted above you.  Thank you for your gentle and swift hand in the pruning and shaping...and for being so near to hold and carry me through the painful parts.  Thank you for the precious people in my life.  Thank you for the plans you have for me.  Thank you for the way you take such beautiful and supernatural care of me.  Thank you for YOUR promises.  Let your ways be obvious in my life...to your glory and honor forever!  

 

Read more...

Contentment

 

If I were able to instantly translate one major life lesson to my children so they could just "know" it instead of having to learn it...it might be the lesson of being content.

To be truly peacefully content in this day and age is no small feat.

I suppose this day and age is really no different than any other - there has always been a human drive to grow and innovate...a drive for "more" and "better".  It's a good thing if we manage that urge instead of letting it manage us.

But oh, the longing for the next thing...the looking ahead to the point of missing what's right in front of me...there's no mystery why the Lord calls us to a heart posture of contentedness.  

Truly, without contentment, I live my life in a way where I miss so much of the goodness right in front of me as I wish my life away for some imagined future.  Can you relate?

There really is "Great Gain" to be found in Godliness + Contentment.  My own life is a series of reminders of this truth.

It seems that every single major transition in my life was released by God ONLY after I'd settled into a truly content state of mind, body, and spirit.  

It's sort of like swimming (bear with me).  I can swim and strive and kick and PUSH against the current and waves...or I can just flip on my back and breathe.

I admit, much of my life has been spent "swimming"/striving...only to be left exhausted, weary, and disappointed...feeling like a failure and a disappointment...feeling like maybe God Himself had abandoned me.

It's not that He ever abandoned me...it's just that I didn't leave room for Him in all the "ME" I was focused on:  My plan, My goal, My dream, My effort, My work, My earning MY LIFE. 

In His goodness, He gives me the freedom and choice to go ahead and do "MY" thing.   

I'm reminded of the innumerable times one of my children would demand to "do it myself"...so I would step back and let them give it a go.  In my wisdom, I could see clearly that they were headed toward frustration, but it was something they had to learn.  Eventually, their little shoulders would slump a little in defeat, and they'd turn their sweet face toward me and sheepishly ask for my help.

They were met each time with my joy and love and eager willingness to help them.  We would do it together...as designed.

Isn't is the same with us and our Father?  Now that I'm in my 50's, I might FINALLY be letting go of my stubborn need to "do it myself".  I imagine that's a welcome relief to God!

As designed...we are meant to "do it together"

I find myself in a strange waiting place recently. 

I'm not sure where I'm going.  I'm not sure how to prepare.  It feels a little bit like the work I'm engaged in is...silly and pointless.

The Lord recently whispered a reminder in my ear of another time I felt this way.

We were expecting our 3rd child, and we were busting at the seams in our tiny little house.  So we decided it was time to move.  We contacted a realtor and looked and looked and looked at houses.  We made offers on several of them.  We narrowed down school districts and floor plans.  We KNEW what we wanted....but absolutely nothing would work out.  

Finally, as the time to deliver our sweet baby drew nearer, we decided to abandon the search.  Clearly, it was not meant to be, and we were exhausted and frustrated.  

Instead, we decided to spruce up our tiny little house and make the best of it.  Instead of using money to buy a new house, we took that money and replaced carpet, painted drab walls, and bought some furniture that made our small space more manageable.  

It was a sweet time.  It was a season of true contentment as we enjoyed the abundance right in front of us.

We were no longer looking for a bigger house...but one day it fell in our laps.  Even bigger than we'd been looking for.  In the right neighborhood. Near friends.  In a great school district.  

The problem?  It cost more than the previous houses we'd made offers on, which the bank wouldn't finance for us.  And there had been no increase in our income.  There was zero reason to expect we could get "the yellow house".

Well, guess what?  We got the yellow house!

And the home we were in sold the first day it hit the market for $40K MORE than we were asking after a bidding war ensued. 

The yellow house is such a place of sweet childhood memories for all our kids.  What a blessing and a gift it was!

To this day...I really don't have an explanation for how it happened so easily except to say that the hand of God's favor is very real indeed.

[Side note...the yellow house did NOT look the way I wanted it to.  I really did not love the canary yellow color, and was so eager to paint it.  We never did paint it though - we never had the money to do so - there's a lesson here on beautiful blessings not always looking the way we want/expect ;-) ]

The yellow house story is just one of many stories like this in my life.  A deep and peaceful season of contentment preceded every major turning point in my life...meeting my husband, having children, starting a business, moving across the country, moving to our dream home...

And I feel a call to a new season of good stewardship and contentment this very moment.

But notice it is not ONLY contentment that leads to "great gain".  It's contentment WITH godliness.  

It's a peaceful waiting WITH God.

It's rooted in a deep trust of who He is.  How good He is.  How faithful He is. 

So I will settle in. 

I will take care of my home. 

I will love my people. 

I will sort, organize, and tidy.

I will make yummy meals for my husband and youngest child, the only one still "in the nest".

I will learn and grow and enjoy as interests pique my interest.

I will worship and pray and lean into the heart of God, who has always been so sweet and kind to me.

And I'll rejoice when the next "yellow house" is placed in my life...even if it doesn't look exactly how I'd like it to.

BUT EVEN IF nothing "good, better, great" comes next... even if I'm in this season of contentment with godliness until the day I leave this body...


...well, I can't think of a better way to spend the rest of my days.

So here's to resting.  Here's to laying down striving and grinding and comparing.  Here's to just floating on the current...breathing...and trusting Him to be the excellent and loving God He is.

Thank you, Lord, for being utterly faithful and good to me all the days of my life.  Even in hard and painful seasons, you showed yourself to be patient and gentle and kind.  You showed yourself to be GOOD in every sense of the word.  Thank you for teaching me how beautiful it is to simply rest in your abundance...YOU are enough...YOU are more than what I need for all goodness and joy.  I choose this day to rest in you...to trust in you...to rejoice in the goodness that is this life, right now.  I look forward to whatever you have in store for me...whether it looks the way I want or not...because I know that you are good and capable to work all things together for ultimate good and for your glory.  Let it be, Lord.  I love you. ❤️ 

Read more...

Choose a Kingdom

 

Each time we speak, we align with and agree with a kingdom. We have a choice to make:

1. Our own kingdom of experiences and feelings?
2. The kingdom of this world?…be careful here because there is a “god of this world” who wants your destruction (2 Cor 4:4)
3. The Kingdom of God? The first two kingdoms will fall - they are defeated already. The Truth of God and His Kingdom is greater than all.
The Word of God is the only offensive weapon in the whole armor of God we’re given…the “sword of the Spirit”. It is mighty to pull down and destroy strongholds of self and the world in our lives.
It sometimes seems silly to “speak things that are not as if they are” (Romans 4)…but that is precisely what we are asked to do. We are called to stand on the Word of God EVEN when our physical experience says differently.
Please examine and search today…where are you feeling fearful, defeated, rejected, hopeless? Where do you feel lack of peace and joy?
Those areas are where there is likely a stronghold in your life that is NOT of the Kingdom of God. It’s time to battle in those areas…time to wield the Sword of the Spirit! I promise, there is victory and freedom in Him.
Church…we are no longer of the world. We are citizens of Heaven and are seated with Jesus. Let’s be set apart…let’s let our WORDS be set apart. Let’s speak as from the Kingdom we belong to. I lovingly and urgently encourage you…speak the Kingdom of God into your personal and worldly experiences, and watch as His Kingdom comes, His will is done...right here on earth as it is in Heaven.

Read more...

Healing and the Heart of God

 

Thinking, praying, and studying the work of God in our physical healing...so much to consider

Some teach that the healing of our physical bodies is part of the gospel message Jesus came to deliver and fulfill.  Surely, it can't be argued that He was against healing given the vast number of times He healed in the New Testament.  I can't think of a single place in scripture when a sick person came to Him for healing and was turned away disappointed. These teachers will pray bold prayers, and are sometimes accused of being TOO bold, too presumptuous, maybe even arrogant or "bossing" God around.

Others teach that physical healing is for days long past - only for the very early church as they established that first row of stones placed firmly on the cornerstone of Jesus Himself.  These teachers will pray prayers that ask God for help in suffering well.  Maybe, in a time of desperation, they'll cry out to God for healing...but these prayers are generally faithless.  They don't really have hope for healing because their theology tells them "no" before they even ask.

And then there's the compromise...the moderate teachers.  These would say that God CAN always heal, but it's not always His WILL to heal.  They teach a mash-up theology that consists of part Biblical truth, and part physical/earthly experience.  Personally, I've encountered this teaching most often.  These folks' prayers always sound a bit like a hedged bet.  They'll pray for healing..."but only if it's your will, God".

These contradicting teachings have been spinning in my mind the past few weeks as I've dealt with some of my own health issues (nothing major). 

As always, I go to the Lord with my questions.  Often, before the question is even out of my mouth, the answer comes in the form of Scripture.  

The first that He highlighted is Matthew 8:17:

"This happened so that what was spoken through Isaiah the prophet would be fulfilled: "He Himself took our illnesses and carried away our diseases."

He took our illnesses and diseases and "carried them away".  

The Lord whispered in my ear..."then what?  are you suggesting He carried them away only to bring them back and hand them back to you?"

This suggestion literally made me laugh out loud!

He then asked, "Do I do things that I don't want to do?  If I didn't want to remove illness and disease from you, why would I carry them away? I conquered illness and disease because I came to destroy all the works of the devil.  Illness and disease are of the devil, not of me."

Oh Lord, forgive me for ascribing the works of the evil one to you!

The next scripture God brought me to was Isaiah 53:5:

"He was pierced for our offenses, He was crushed for our wrongdoings; The punishment for our well-being was laid upon Him, and by His wounds we are healed."

All the suffering...from Judas's betrayal, the agony in the garden, the lashes that nearly skinned Him alive, the crown of thorns, the beard pulling, the humiliation, the spitting and ridicule, the abandonment, the spikes through His hands and feet...NONE of it was wasted.  It was ALL for our good.

Not a single speck of Jesus's suffering was because He deserved it.  It was 100% OUR suffering that He endured.  

God is perfectly just... He endured all the suffering necessary to be able to say "paid in full"...but not a single bit more.  NONE of it was wasted.

The result?  "By His wounds, we are healed."

The next Scripture God led me to was Ecclesiastes 3.

This is the famous "a time for everything" chapter in the Bible. 

There's a time for everything...for every activity under the heavens.

to be born, to die

to plant, to uproot

to kill, to heal

a time to tear down, to build

to weep, and laugh

to mourn, and dance

I'll let you read the full chapter - it's pretty all encompassing.

As I read, I thought that the Lord was trying to show me that there's a "time to die".  Certainly, no one is arguing the truth that our bodies reach their earthly end.

But the Lord corrected me with, "isn't it interesting that there's no mention of 'a time to be sick, and a time to be healthy'?"

I had to read the chapter through a few more times to be sure!

As I considered this interesting point, the Bible played like a movie in my mind...countless times when God healed His people!

As already mentioned, Jesus healed everyone who asked.

After He ascended, His church went on to heal many sick (and in some pretty creative ways!)

But this isn't a New Testament only teaching...the Old Testament is full of God healing too.

Do a quick web search of "healing in Scripture", and you'll have quite a list! (Here's a good list)

I read, and read, and read some more.

WHY was it so hard for me to fully embrace the idea that not only is God able to heal, but that He always WANTS to heal?

There was a battle in my mind...

...a battle between what I can see clearly written in God's Word and my physical experiences and perceptions

...a battle between various types of teaching I've been exposed to

...a battle between what I WANT truth to be and what I see with my own eyes in the flesh

I was done studying. 

It was time to simply surrender and to submit myself to the Lord in this area.

My prayer was "God, I need Your truth.  I know what I want, but I don't want my own desires.  I want the TRUTH of You even if it turns my desires upside down.  Please transform me into someone who can fearlessly accept the pure truth of Your Word without first filtering it through my earthly experiences.  And Lord, I know that there is no "time for sickness" in Ecclesiastes, but I can't build a theology based on what's NOT in your Word!  Please give me Your heart for healing, and give me eyes to see and ears to hear.  Please settle this for me once and for all with a deep heart and mind and soul knowledge of You."

And oh, His sweet answer wrecked me.

He said simply, "I CAUSED ADAM TO SLEEP"

Oh, I weep even as I type this memory!

I've read Genesis 2:21 a hundred times:

"So the Lord God caused a deep sleep to fall upon the man, and he slept; then He took one of his ribs and closed up the flesh at that place"

 

As I read it with fresh eyes, the overwhelming tenderness and mercy of God for humanity struck me.

He caused Adam to sleep.

Do you see it?  Do you see the tenderness?  Do you see His gentle heart and hand?  His consideration of Adam, His precious creation? Him gently tucking Adam in for a deep sleep while God worked a mighty new thing with Adams flesh?

All at once the idea that God would will (want/choose) to put disease and pain on His beloved bride seems utterly preposterous. 

He is good

He is kind

He is gentle

He is faithful

Do I 100% get it now?  Nope

I still have questions about times I've seen/experiences suffering...

I've seen unanswered prayers

I've seen untimely deaths

I've seen unspeakable pain and loss

But today...I also see more clearly the heart of God for us. 

It is NOT His desire that we be sick or diseased or in pain.

This contradiction between the Heart of God revealed in Scripture and our experiences in the flesh leaves me with questions.  But, at the end of the day, the Word of God stands true.  My "experiences" don't negate a single part of the Word.

I think this is where many theologians would shrug and utter something profound about "mysteries" 

I feel a tug in my spirit as the Lord asks me to trust Him.

Yes, Lord, I trust you.  Thank you for bowing so low to speak to this daughter of yours.  Thank you for sharing Your heart with me.  Thank you for being so gentle, tender, loving, and kind...and also mighty and powerful.  Thank you that your thoughts are so much higher than mine, and that you work everything to my ultimate good.  Thank you that you hold me in your hand, and that you dwell even within me.  Come what may, I will trust your beautiful heart for me.  I believe and trust what your Word says.  Thank you for carrying sickness and disease away from me.  Thank you for providing for my freedom.  Lord, please move in power by your Holy Spirit to free me of any sickness, disease, fear, curse, or injury that seeks to do me harm.  Thank you God, for the power of the blood of Jesus. Thank you for providing "it is FINISHED".  Please apply ALL the finished work of the Cross to my mind, my soul, my body, and my family in your perfect timing.  Amen

Read more...