Whose life is this?
Can I even talk about this on the world-wide-web, or is it too sacred? Too private?
I don't know.
A week ago today we were concerned about a loved one....enough that we decided to pack a little over-night bag for her and have her stay with us for a couple of days.
A couple of days turned into a couple more days.
Then a week.
And now, as Clara put it this morning, "for the rest of her life, maybe?"
For the rest of her life.
Oxygen tanks, piles of laundry folded with love, "hats" that need checking and rinsing, tube drainage, confusion, pain, medication schedules, talks of the here and now....and of eternity.
Visits from family from afar, notarized plans and documents, treatment vs. comfort.
So much to think about. So much that my brain seems to have stopped, and is stuck in the moment called "right NOW". How can you help? I have no idea. I don't even know what I'll be doing in 5 minutes....never mind what I'd like your help with tomorrow.
This woman, those strong hands, that soft hair, that confused look, the smiling eyes when I take her hand. All of our history seems to have melted away. What matters more than right now? Nothing, that's what. Well, except for the choices that effect eternity....so I let the tears come, swallow my fear and hesitation, pray for wisdom and the right words and I tell stories about the One named Jesus who turned my life into something beautiful. I trust in the power of the words coming out of my mouth to cut through the confusion and touch her soul where it needs to be touched.
Please Lord, open that heart, draw her to you. I can't save her, but you can. Do whatever it takes to save her. I'll give anything. Do anything.
I know why we're told to pray for one another. I can feel myself being held up by it's power. I'm either in shock, going slowly insane, or this is that "peace beyond understanding"....Not only am I fine, I'm wonderful. Joyful. Peaceful. Strong and solid. It's the very power of the Holy Spirit here with me. Or, yeah, I could be going slightly crazy :-)
Whose life is this?