If Something Can Steal Your Joy...

 

This quote from yesterday's sermon was like a gut-punch that just keeps sticking with me: "If something can steal your joy, it's become an idol in your life".

I literally gasped when he spoke the words.

All at once, I had a crystal clear picture of what the Lord's been doing in my life this past year. 

He's been stripping me of idols!

Scenes from the last 18 months play through my mind like a movie:

... a business I'd built for 14 years: just **poof** gone

... that business was our family's bread and butter, and we'd just signed on a new house 

...  my health went bonkers - a torn meniscus in each knee, hormones going crazy, and kidney stones so big they had to be surgically removed. Weariness, exhaustion, and so so SO much physical pain.

... a couple relationships that I was heavily invested in...my heart was WAY out there trusting some people...and it came crashing down in hurt and disappointment

... plans and promises that seemed like a sure thing - stuff I was looking forward to, dreaming about, and feeling wildly excited about...wound up being a dead end that left me feeling directionless, purposeless, and discarded..."demoted" is a word I kept thinking about in that tough season of disappointment

I suffered with times of fear and grief

But I also felt sincere and abiding joy.  My husband even commented that the "Daiquiri from a few years ago would never have walked through the last 18 months the way you did".   This is only because the Lord Himself walked me through it


Along the way, the Lord was faithful to be whispering in my ear and meeting with me in worship.

"Forgive", He whispered


I chose to be relentless about forgiveness because, well, He said so...and also because I know how dangerous it can be when forgiveness turns into bitterness.  Even so, a root of bitterness took hold... So the Lord delivered me from it like only He can.  

"Trust in Me instead of physicians", He instructed
(2 Chronicles 16:12)

So I learned to speak His Word over the "diagnosis" and "prognosis" from the doctor.  As I vocalized the promise of healing for my body roughly 100 times a day, the finished work of the Cross was applied to my throbbing knees, and I was healed.

My kidneys...well that was a lesson learned the hard way for me.  I listened to the doctor and believed every word she said about the pain I was in for if I didn't have surgery.  I got scared, and booked the surgery immediately.  

As I writhed in pain the night of surgery, no pain medicine seemed to touch the searing pain in my body.  


I cried out to Him, "Where are you?!  Please help!"


"Who said you needed surgery?" was His reply


All at once, I realized I'd never even asked Him about surgery for my kidneys!  I trusted Him for my knees, saw Him work a miracle, and then just jumped right back to trusting the doctor!


I'm not against medical intervention - God gives us doctors to help us.  But HE is the GREAT PHYSICIAN...He is the One who is our "primary provider".  And with my kidneys, I didn't so much as get His opinion.  


I apologized, and His grace and mercy and peace flooded me.  Lesson learned!


"Remember Who I Am",  He whispered as I received the heart-pounding news that my business was just dissolved.


The budgetary math was absolutely not adding up.  The payments FAR outweigh(ed) the income.


Panic threatened to overtake me - as my thoughts spiraled, He met me there again and said more loudly, "Remember Who I Am".

As I grieved and cried one day, I asked the Lord what was happening.  

"Pruning", He replied


"Can I be so bold as to ask what exactly you're pruning?", I asked


"I'm pruning you of Self-Sufficiency", He whispered


And oh, how those pruning shears stung!


The bottom line...I am not provider or planner in my life. He is.


He is the keeper of time, resources, and keys to the doors.  Not me.


As a "strong and independent" business woman, I was relying on my own wits.  My own wisdom.  My own "make it happen" abilities.


People
Plans
Promises (from humans)
Resources
Health


These are some of the areas of my life I was finding joy in...and when they left, broke, changed, and disappointed...my joy was affected.


The way of the world teaches us that all these things are fine and good....important, even.


And when they're rooted in Christ, the ARE good.


But when they're so important to me that they have the power of joy and/or despair over me...that's a signal that they've taken on a life of their own.


It's a signal that I've placed those things on the throne in my life that is reserved ONLY for the King.


"If something can steal your joy, it's become an idol".  May it never be so again!


Thank you, Lord...for clearing the throne room of my heart of anything I'd valued or trusted above you.  Thank you for your gentle and swift hand in the pruning and shaping...and for being so near to hold and carry me through the painful parts.  Thank you for the precious people in my life.  Thank you for the plans you have for me.  Thank you for the way you take such beautiful and supernatural care of me.  Thank you for YOUR promises.  Let your ways be obvious in my life...to your glory and honor forever!