It's Your Choice Today...

Well, today you get to choose...you can choose fun and giggles and easy going. If that's what you're in the mood for, click HERE for a list of fun pictures and videos to check out. I've been looking through them myself this morning. It's amazing how my kids have changed just in the few short months that I've been blogging!

But if you're in the mood for the real Daiquiri, well, it's not quite as much fun. Quick...go click on the videos if you don't want yucky stuff! Go...now...I won't hold it against you or be offended, I promise.

So what's going on?

One of our loved ones was in a car accident. A don't know if she'll ever walk again or what she'll be like when she regains consciousness kind of accident. My heart is just broken. I don't know who is suffering more right now...Becky (please pray for her recovery), or her mom. Honestly, I'd rather be in Becky's place than her mom's.

How does a mom function through something like this? How does she sleep? How does she eat? How does she breathe? How does she smile or laugh ever again with her daughter lying in a bed in the ICU?

When something like this happens so close to home, I'm always disappointed and ashamed to see just how small and weak my faith really is. Instead of just resting in a big God who I know loves me and can heal and comfort...I always go straight to "WHY?" or "ARE YOU EVEN THERE?" or "WHY BOTHER TO PRAY IF YOU'LL LET THIS STUFF HAPPEN ANYWAY?"

I'm sorry for even saying the words. Who am I? Who am I that he should love me and bless me the way he does...that he should die for me that I can live in Heaven for all of eternity? Who am I to doubt and question and demand answers? Who am I to even try to understand the workings of God?

I'm just little ol' me. Someone who wants to believe that her children are protected by a big, loving God. Someone who wants to believe that stuff like this doesn't happen to our family.

And then it does.

And I don't know who to be then.

I don't know who to be because I know I'm in HIM...only now I don't really know who He is. So what to do? Will you pray with me?

Oh, Lord. Please hear our prayers. Hear our small voices crying out to you.
Be big for us, Father.
Be big to save.
Be big to heal.
Be big to bring comfort.
Be big to give us peace that we can't even understand.
Forgive my fear, Lord. Forgive my doubt and questions.

But most of all, Lord...please be with Becky today. Heal her, Lord. You know every hair on her head. You know precisely what is wrong with her body. You can make it whole again. If it's your will, then that's what I ask for. Heal her. Heal her. Please.

And Lord, be close to June. Tuck her under your wing and comfort her. Help her to be strong and to find peace in you. She needs to feel you close. Heal her baby, Lord.

And for everyone else who loves Becky, be near them. Be near them even though they feel afraid and maybe angry that this happened. Be near them in their helplessness.

Be big for us, God.
I just don't have the words. Give me the words...let your Spirit work through me.

And just one other thing, if you please. I don't know who in this family knows you or not. I mean, really knows you...not just knows of you or believes in you...but truly knows and trusts and loves you. Reveal yourself to all of us, Lord. Strengthen those of us who are shaken in times like these. Save those who do not know you.

I love you, Lord. Sometimes I fear you. Sometimes I don't trust you. Sometimes I wonder if you're even real. But at the end of the day, I know you are. I know you are trustworthy. I know you are loving. I know you are with us and are heart-broken right along with us.

I pray all of this, and more, in the name of Jesus...the one you sent for us so that we could draw near to you without fear or condemnation. Amen.


PS. The Becky I'm talking about is NOT my friend Becky (sorry for any confusion)

Emily (Laundry and Lullabies)  – (4/15/2008 04:10:00 PM)  

I'm so sorry to read about Becky's accident. That is a hard, hard thing. About a year and a half ago, my mother had a brain aneurysm and doctors gave her only a 50% chance of ever waking up, much less getting better and ever getting out of bed. I've never been so scared. But you are so right - we serve a big, BIG God. My mom not only survived, she is walking and talking and NORMAL. So we'll pray for Becky. Because God still does miracles.

Amy  – (4/15/2008 05:45:00 PM)  

I will pray for your Becky and her mom. That is a hard, hard thing.

The Journey Begins Here  – (4/15/2008 06:16:00 PM)  

Hi Friend! I haven't been by in a while and then when I tried to find you, my link didn't cooperate. I had to go search for a comment you left on March 19th.

I prayed your prayer for Becky. I know what you mean about ALL of that. When Ray was diagnosed with ALS, I thought that God didn't give us a miracle because I lacked in faith. Because everyone did. But I stopped asking why and started asking how. How can I glorify the Lord in this aweful situation.

I am so sorry that you and Becky's family have to go through this. You will be in my thoughts and prayers.
Mark 5:36...Do not be afraid any longer, only believe."

Love Theresa

Alicia  – (4/15/2008 06:33:00 PM)  

I'm so glad you cleared that up, I was terrified.
I'm sorry.

Hilty Sprouts!  – (4/17/2008 10:32:00 PM)  

I'm so sorry, I will pray. In these situations I also have many doubts and often wish I was one of those powerhouse of faith women rather than the puddle of gooey doubt that I usually am. I'm a work in progress!

Jen

Katie  – (4/19/2008 02:07:00 PM)  

I prayed the words you so eloquently wrote in your post. I too am usual;ly the puddle on the floor, I struggle to remind myself daily God is in control but I believe that He IS.

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