Healing and the Heart of God

 

Thinking, praying, and studying the work of God in our physical healing...so much to consider

Some teach that the healing of our physical bodies is part of the gospel message Jesus came to deliver and fulfill.  Surely, it can't be argued that He was against healing given the vast number of times He healed in the New Testament.  I can't think of a single place in scripture when a sick person came to Him for healing and was turned away disappointed. These teachers will pray bold prayers, and are sometimes accused of being TOO bold, too presumptuous, maybe even arrogant or "bossing" God around.

Others teach that physical healing is for days long past - only for the very early church as they established that first row of stones placed firmly on the cornerstone of Jesus Himself.  These teachers will pray prayers that ask God for help in suffering well.  Maybe, in a time of desperation, they'll cry out to God for healing...but these prayers are generally faithless.  They don't really have hope for healing because their theology tells them "no" before they even ask.

And then there's the compromise...the moderate teachers.  These would say that God CAN always heal, but it's not always His WILL to heal.  They teach a mash-up theology that consists of part Biblical truth, and part physical/earthly experience.  Personally, I've encountered this teaching most often.  These folks' prayers always sound a bit like a hedged bet.  They'll pray for healing..."but only if it's your will, God".

These contradicting teachings have been spinning in my mind the past few weeks as I've dealt with some of my own health issues (nothing major). 

As always, I go to the Lord with my questions.  Often, before the question is even out of my mouth, the answer comes in the form of Scripture.  

The first that He highlighted is Matthew 8:17:

"This happened so that what was spoken through Isaiah the prophet would be fulfilled: "He Himself took our illnesses and carried away our diseases."

He took our illnesses and diseases and "carried them away".  

The Lord whispered in my ear..."then what?  are you suggesting He carried them away only to bring them back and hand them back to you?"

This suggestion literally made me laugh out loud!

He then asked, "Do I do things that I don't want to do?  If I didn't want to remove illness and disease from you, why would I carry them away? I conquered illness and disease because I came to destroy all the works of the devil.  Illness and disease are of the devil, not of me."

Oh Lord, forgive me for ascribing the works of the evil one to you!

The next scripture God brought me to was Isaiah 53:5:

"He was pierced for our offenses, He was crushed for our wrongdoings; The punishment for our well-being was laid upon Him, and by His wounds we are healed."

All the suffering...from Judas's betrayal, the agony in the garden, the lashes that nearly skinned Him alive, the crown of thorns, the beard pulling, the humiliation, the spitting and ridicule, the abandonment, the spikes through His hands and feet...NONE of it was wasted.  It was ALL for our good.

Not a single speck of Jesus's suffering was because He deserved it.  It was 100% OUR suffering that He endured.  

God is perfectly just... He endured all the suffering necessary to be able to say "paid in full"...but not a single bit more.  NONE of it was wasted.

The result?  "By His wounds, we are healed."

The next Scripture God led me to was Ecclesiastes 3.

This is the famous "a time for everything" chapter in the Bible. 

There's a time for everything...for every activity under the heavens.

to be born, to die

to plant, to uproot

to kill, to heal

a time to tear down, to build

to weep, and laugh

to mourn, and dance

I'll let you read the full chapter - it's pretty all encompassing.

As I read, I thought that the Lord was trying to show me that there's a "time to die".  Certainly, no one is arguing the truth that our bodies reach their earthly end.

But the Lord corrected me with, "isn't it interesting that there's no mention of 'a time to be sick, and a time to be healthy'?"

I had to read the chapter through a few more times to be sure!

As I considered this interesting point, the Bible played like a movie in my mind...countless times when God healed His people!

As already mentioned, Jesus healed everyone who asked.

After He ascended, His church went on to heal many sick (and in some pretty creative ways!)

But this isn't a New Testament only teaching...the Old Testament is full of God healing too.

Do a quick web search of "healing in Scripture", and you'll have quite a list! (Here's a good list)

I read, and read, and read some more.

WHY was it so hard for me to fully embrace the idea that not only is God able to heal, but that He always WANTS to heal?

There was a battle in my mind...

...a battle between what I can see clearly written in God's Word and my physical experiences and perceptions

...a battle between various types of teaching I've been exposed to

...a battle between what I WANT truth to be and what I see with my own eyes in the flesh

I was done studying. 

It was time to simply surrender and to submit myself to the Lord in this area.

My prayer was "God, I need Your truth.  I know what I want, but I don't want my own desires.  I want the TRUTH of You even if it turns my desires upside down.  Please transform me into someone who can fearlessly accept the pure truth of Your Word without first filtering it through my earthly experiences.  And Lord, I know that there is no "time for sickness" in Ecclesiastes, but I can't build a theology based on what's NOT in your Word!  Please give me Your heart for healing, and give me eyes to see and ears to hear.  Please settle this for me once and for all with a deep heart and mind and soul knowledge of You."

And oh, His sweet answer wrecked me.

He said simply, "I CAUSED ADAM TO SLEEP"

Oh, I weep even as I type this memory!

I've read Genesis 2:21 a hundred times:

"So the Lord God caused a deep sleep to fall upon the man, and he slept; then He took one of his ribs and closed up the flesh at that place"

 

As I read it with fresh eyes, the overwhelming tenderness and mercy of God for humanity struck me.

He caused Adam to sleep.

Do you see it?  Do you see the tenderness?  Do you see His gentle heart and hand?  His consideration of Adam, His precious creation? Him gently tucking Adam in for a deep sleep while God worked a mighty new thing with Adams flesh?

All at once the idea that God would will (want/choose) to put disease and pain on His beloved bride seems utterly preposterous. 

He is good

He is kind

He is gentle

He is faithful

Do I 100% get it now?  Nope

I still have questions about times I've seen/experiences suffering...

I've seen unanswered prayers

I've seen untimely deaths

I've seen unspeakable pain and loss

But today...I also see more clearly the heart of God for us. 

It is NOT His desire that we be sick or diseased or in pain.

This contradiction between the Heart of God revealed in Scripture and our experiences in the flesh leaves me with questions.  But, at the end of the day, the Word of God stands true.  My "experiences" don't negate a single part of the Word.

I think this is where many theologians would shrug and utter something profound about "mysteries" 

I feel a tug in my spirit as the Lord asks me to trust Him.

Yes, Lord, I trust you.  Thank you for bowing so low to speak to this daughter of yours.  Thank you for sharing Your heart with me.  Thank you for being so gentle, tender, loving, and kind...and also mighty and powerful.  Thank you that your thoughts are so much higher than mine, and that you work everything to my ultimate good.  Thank you that you hold me in your hand, and that you dwell even within me.  Come what may, I will trust your beautiful heart for me.  I believe and trust what your Word says.  Thank you for carrying sickness and disease away from me.  Thank you for providing for my freedom.  Lord, please move in power by your Holy Spirit to free me of any sickness, disease, fear, curse, or injury that seeks to do me harm.  Thank you God, for the power of the blood of Jesus. Thank you for providing "it is FINISHED".  Please apply ALL the finished work of the Cross to my mind, my soul, my body, and my family in your perfect timing.  Amen

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Fruit Matters

 

Fruit matters. We don’t have to wonder or be confused about whether or not a teacher is “on” or “off”. As believers, we have a supernatural understanding of the Word, and we have the fruit of the teacher to check.

First and foremost, the Word. We check everything against the written Word. If a teacher teaches a gospel contrary to the gospel within those pages, stay far away.

And the Word itself gives us clues about what to look for as we discern truth from deception…fruit.

You can tell a lot about a plant by the type of fruit it produces.

These days, I’m seeing a lot of 1 Timothy 6:4-5 “teachers” who sell themselves as “discerning” and trying to “protect” the flock. But their fruit says otherwise.

- constant criticism

- always playing “devils advocate” (Indeed!)

- lots of pointing out the errors of others

- controversy

- disputes

- envy

- strife

- friction

- division

- suspicion

Conversations with these folks will leave you feeling uncertain and fearful.

Does anyone come to mind? If so, please take that person and their teaching to the Lord and ask Him for His heart and mind In the matter.

Please don’t hear what I’m not saying … our feelings do NOT determine God’s truth

But feelings ARE part of the overall picture to consider

Fear, shame, confusion, division, and strife are not from God

God corrects and disciplines , yes

He calls us to live set apart and holy, yes

But you will feel His heart of love and gentleness even when He’s correcting you.

Check the fruit of your teachers, brothers and sisters.

Avoid worldly and empty chatter and opposing arguments of what Is falsely called “knowledge”

(1 Tim 6:20)

Look for the evidence (fruit) of the Holy Spirit: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control.

Bottom line… I you know more about what a teacher is against than what they’re FOR… you might want to find a different teacher

“he is conceited and understands nothing; but he has a morbid interest in controversial questions and disputes about words, out of which arise envy, strife, abusive language, evil suspicions, and constant friction between men of depraved mind and deprived of the truth, who suppose that godliness is a means of gain.”

‭‭1 Timothy‬ ‭6‬:‭4‬-‭5‬

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Rooted

 

This happy dandelion caught my attention today. Some might look at it and think "oh, it's a picture of strength and resilience - just look how determined it is to grow in those harsh surroundings!"

I don't see it that way.

That plant is not "working hard" to prevail against harsh conditions. It's just doing what it's made to do.

When I asked the Lord what He was trying to show me, He whispered the word "ROOTED" 🌱

Of course!

Circumstances and surroundings don't have the power of death when the ROOT is where it belongs.

Of course, this plant has a long taproot down into fertile soil, so the plant thrives despite being surrounded by unfriendly circumstances.

How about you?

Do you feel blown by the winds of change?

Panicked by the evening news?

Afraid for the future?

Disturbed by political changes or swings in the stock market?

Uncertain about time, finances, aging, kids, purpose, relationships, etc.?

If yes, then I gently encourage you to examine where you're rooted. The "fruit" of panic, fear, anxiety, uncertainty...they are fruits that indicate an unhealthy plant. THAT plant is working hard, battling, and striving.

Be like the dandelion, friend 😂

Get your roots into fertile soil.

Get you face pointed toward the Son ☀️ (see what I did there?)

And then...rest.

Let Him be God, and you can be His child.

Of course, there's good work to do in this life...but when you're rooted in Him, everything is grace.

Resilience and toughness is overrated - the world tries to sell it as "strength"...but it's really just a path to exhaustion and futility.

Call on Jesus and just see how sweet life can be ❤️

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There Is No "If"

The past few days have been especially hard for me.  Who am I kidding...the past few weeks...months...years even. They've been hard as I struggle with physical pain in my body.

The doctor tells me that I have a torn meniscus in each knee. This is the first time I've dealt with chronic pain like this.  It hurts when I walk.  It hurts when I rest.  It even hurts to the point of me shouting out in pain in the middle of the night.

It wasn't very long ago that I would have simply booked a surgical appointment and had them both repaired.  That's the reasonable course of action, right?

But I had an unsettled feeling in my heart from the beginning as I contemplated surgery.  Of course, I don't love the idea of surgical pain.  I don't love the idea of the financial cost.  But most of all, I felt the prompting of the Lord to "hold"... to simply wait.

So I wait.  And I suffer.  And I miss long walks with my husband.  I miss hiking through the woods and working in my yard. 

Waiting doesn't make sense to my logical brain. 

In fact, I woke one day with certainty in my heart about having surgery - I felt peaceful and excited to put the pain behind me and get back to exercising and getting fit. But based on my previous certainty to wait, I asked the Lord to confirm this new decision to move forward with surgery.  Boy, did He deliver on that request quickly!  

I opened the Word that morning to the genealogy of Jesus in the first chapter of Matthew.  I read every word at the prompting of the Holy Spirit, and my eye settled on the name "Asa".  I could not read past his name, so I dug into the story of King Asa. The punchline is found in 2 Chronicles 16:12-13:

"In the thirty-ninth year of his reign Asa became diseased in his feet.  His disease was severe, yet even in his disease he did not seek the LORD, but the physicians.  So Asa slept with his fathers having died in the forty-first year of his reign."

My jaw pretty much hit the floor!  And I was frustrated and SO mad!  I wanted the pain gone.  I wanted to seek the physicians.  And frankly, in many areas of my life, I DO seek physicians with no conflict of conscience.  I take prescription medicines.  I've had surgery.  I've been greatly blessed by healing provided by God through physicians' hands.

But the message was clear - the Lord was asking me to wait and seek Him in this.  I was super irritated.

Eventually, I decided to settle into hope.  

For a while, I was eager in the painful waiting.  I figured that God must have something better in store for me.  Why else would He ask me to wait?

And wow, the Lord has absolutely knocked my socks off the past couple years.  The Bible tells us that followers of Jesus will see signs...believers in Jesus "will cast out devils, they'll speak in new tongues, they'll take up serpents; and if they drink any deadly thing, it shall not hurt them; they shall lay hands on the sick, and they shall recover." (Mark 16:17-18)

I'm here to testify -- this scriptural promise still stands to this day!

I've seen it with my own eyes.  I've seen demons flee as I pray.  I've experienced speaking in new tongues.  I've laid hands on the sick, and they've recovered.  Glory to God!!

(Admittedly, I've not taken up snakes or sipped on anything deadly...not exactly seeking those things out haha!)

I've seen cancer healed.

I've seen torn ligaments in shoulders healed.

I've seen chronic and debilitating back pain vanish.

I've seen addicts instantly delivered and healed...they're not recovering, they're healed.

And most recently (and ironically)...a woman at church just walked up to me TWO DAYS ago, and she was giddy to share with me:

"Daiquiri!  I want you to know that when you prayed for my knee last month, God healed me!  He HEALED me!  He actually healed me!  I had a torn meniscus in my knee...and it's totally healed now!"

I rejoiced with her.  "Thank You, God, for healing my precious sister.  Thank You for the honor of being Your hands and feet in praying for her.  You're amazing!" 

We celebrated together, and then I said "you wanna hear a crazy coincidence? I have a torn meniscus in each of my knees.  Would you pray for me now?"

She put her hand on my shoulder and prayed for our good God to do for me just what He did for her.  Surely, this was it?  Surely this was the day of my miracle?

Apparently not.  I limped away from that encounter feeling rejected and heartbroken.

Later the very next day (yesterday), a woman asked me to pray for her.  She had terrible pain in her back.  I laid my hands on her in faith.  I believe that Jesus is who He says He is, and that He does what He says He will do.

She felt no improvement in her pain.  Her sad blue eyes pierced me as she said "I know He's a healer.  Why isn't He healing me?"

It cut me to the quick.  My heart broke with and for her because I KNOW the pain in that question.

As I stood and worshiped the Lord yesterday, tears streamed down my cheeks and wet the front of my shirt.  I felt utterly rejected and hurt.  The pain in my knees paled in comparison to the heart-sick feeling I had that maybe I wasn't loved very much after all.

I KNOW that my feelings are real, but they're not always TRUE.  

I fight to take my thoughts and feelings captive and to bend them to conform to the Truth of Jesus.

I speak "It is written..." over myself as I fight the pull of the black hole that is emotional turmoil.

Thank God for His written Word!

And even more, I thank God for the written Word's revelation of the living Word, Jesus.

So I went straight to the written Word this morning for comfort and an emotional "re-set".  I'm not going to wallow in lies for another day.  This is the day the Lord has made, and I WILL be glad!  Teach me, Lord!

The Lord led me Matthew 12:36-39 when Jesus scolded people who were insisting on a sign.  He said, "An evil and adulterous generation craves for a sign..."

My breath caught in my chest.
My heart seemed to beat louder than normal.
My ears rang in the profound silence that surrounded me.

Jesus was talking about ME in this verse!

Yes, "signs" will follow those who believe.

But I've been seeking His hand more than His heart.

Worse, I've been seeking His hand as PROOF of His heart.

Oh, Lord, I'm so sorry!

The scribes and Pharisees sought a sign...with impure intent:  

"IF You are who You say You are, then show us a sign.
Prove Yourself to us.
Do what we want when we want it."

So ugly...but haven't I been doing the same?

"IF You love me, then show me a sign.
Prove You love me by healing me.
Do what I want how and when I want it."

Yup - just as ugly.

I confessed the sin before the Lord, and I repented with all my heart.  He was faithful and just to forgive me and wash me clean (1 Jn 1:9).

All at once, I heard His familiar voice whisper lovingly:

"There is no 'if'"

I was swept under the wave of love that rolled over me.

Oh God, You love me.  You are good.

No matter my physical experience or my emotions, these two things are true every moment of every day.

I choose to believe the truth of Your love and goodness even when I don't "feel" it.  Even when there is not the "sign" of it that I desire.

"If He heals me..."

"If He gifts me..."

"If He provides for me..."

"If I see a sign..."

Oh Lord, I'm sorry that I've attached "if" to Your everlasting love and goodness.

There.  Is.  No.  "IF".

You are God and I am not.

You are loving and good and true.  Period.

Thank You for loving and forgiving me.  Thank you for teaching me. 

I will stand and worship and thank You for Your faithfulness and goodness...even if I must stand on throbbing legs to do it.

Thank You for your patience with me and my bratty ways!  Thank You that You are my Rock even when I make the mistake of setting my eyes on the wind and waves.

Thank You for Your unfailing love and faithfulness.

Words cannot express Your goodness Lord.  Please see the welling of love and awe in my heart for You, God.  Let the incense of my love and worship rise to Your throne day after day.  Night after night. Regardless of my earthly circumstance...You are holy and worthy and so very good.

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The Cost of Love

 

Feeling a little sad this morning.  We decided it was time to say goodbye to our old boy Packer last night.  He was a fixture in our lives for 14+ years, and the house feels strange without him.  I missed him limping his way over to me this morning to give me a good morning hug.  He was a crazy dog...but he was so sweet and I loved him the best I could.

As I contemplate my heartache over a dog...it strikes me that God is love.  Jesus came in love.  The Holy Spirit ministers to us in love.  We are made in His image, and we are called to so thoroughly love that it's becomes a badge that enables the world to identify the followers of Jesus.

But there's a serious cost to follow that call.

It costs us to love.  It costs our very selves because love is an utterly selfless thing.  It is caring about someone else even above ourselves.  It is sacrificing and compromising and all giving...all pouring out.

Thankfully, love is designed to be a relationship - a two way street - a pouring out AND a filling up. 

We love God and He loves us infinitely MORE.

We love a spouse and they love us back.

We love and old dog and we're met with faithful tail wags, a little jump of joy when they see us, and a sweet friendly presence to be with us...even if they are a hairy mess with awful (AWFUL) breath!

It's designed to be good and beautiful - a literal reflection of the amazing heart and character of our Creator.

But still...there's a heavy cost when choosing to love in this lifetime.

Too often, love is not reciprocated.

Too often, "love" is selfish and cruel (not actually love, but a misuse of the word).

Too often, the one(s) who are meant to love us the most are wrapped up in fear and hurt and lies...the best they can do is respond harshly and selfishly instead of gently as they strive to protect their already wounded heart. All they can pour out to their partner is the fear and hurt and lies that they're ruled by...and this upside down culture of ours encourages this as "strength" or "toughness" or "independence".

And even when we do find/discover/develop a (near) perfect Godly love that removes fear...that is patient and kind...that is giving and humble...that is honoring and self-giving...that is slow to anger an forgives quickly...that is a source of joy and comfort

...even then, there is a cost.

There is the cost demanded by time itself.

We see the precious hands weaken and the wrinkles set in.  The hair grays and the walk slows.  Time marches...marches...marches...

We know where it's leading.  We tuck the dread away, and pray an earnest, "Maranatha!" 

Yet, despite the cost, I choose love.

I choose connection and tenderness.

I choose to give my heart...my whole self...away.

Yes, there is a very steep cost of love...

...and I believe it's worth it.

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