Memory Lane: Our Wedding Day

August 23, 1997 was our wedding day. Eleven years and four babies later I'm still happy to be married to this man. I'm a lucky girl.

The day before our wedding, we did the rehearsal dinner at a lakeside supper club in Wisconsin. (We live in Idaho, but married in Wisconsin so we could have as much extended family there as possible). Here we are in all our cheesy glory outside the supper club before we ate dinner...supper...whatever they call it in the Midwest! Aren't we so sweet you could just gag?!



With my hubby involved, things never stay serious for long though. This is more our style. He better marry me soon or people are gonna start talkin'!



Our wedding day was perfect. It was hot and humid and stressful and busy...but perfect. I loved our wedding. It was so beautiful and emotional. Everyone we loved was there to celebrate with us, and it felt so *right* to be standing before God and promising to be true to the amazing man He'd given me.

I grew up Catholic...sometimes I love the ceremony that goes with the Catholic church. We're not Catholic anymore, and I miss some of the tradition and ritual. Our wedding in this beautiful Catholic church with tall stained glass windows was so precious to me.



Here we are Mr. and Mrs. Dear Hubby! One of my happiest moments ever :)



Here's us coming out of the church after we finally got my dress all bustled up. Man, that dress was heavy...but so beautiful! The little guy holding the door for us was our ring bearer. He's about 6'6" now!



The ceremony was over, but it wasn't quite time to go to the club for the reception, so we went to my folks' house to start celebrating. Our families...they know how to party!




Wasn't our cake beautiful? Maybe you can't see it very well in the picture. Believe me, it was beautiful (and yummy!).


If you're reading this, my amazing man...I love you! I'm so happy, blessed, thankful, joyful, and proud to be Mrs. YOU! :) Happy Anniversary.

Parenting Like The Ultimate Father

This week's topic is, in a word, Parenting. How have your Christian beliefs affected your parenting? Or, if you don't have children, talk about God as "Father" in your life. I'll just jump right in...

Every now and then a friend says something that really sticks with me and makes me see the world differently. I had one of those moments recently. She said, "I'm not raising children, I'm raising adults."

Isn't that a great way to think of it? Sometimes I get so caught up in the daily struggle that is children and all of their crazy, messy, unpredictable ways, that I forget to keep my eye on the end goal. The end goal is adults. God loving, God fearing, Men and Women. Wow. That's a huge responsibility!

With that goal in mind, I've been thinking a lot lately about how God parents us and how his ways can be applied to my human parent-child relationship. In fact, hubby and I took a class about 4 years ago called "Parenting Is A Ministry". I can't remember all that we discussed (should have taken better notes!), but there are a few points that we implemented and that changed our relationship with our children (or very, very young adults!).

1. God makes his "rules" very clear. There's no guesswork. In fact, he wrote everything on paper (and stone) for us.
2. God is faithful...otherwise known as very predictable and consistent. When he says he'll do something, it gets done.
3. God is loving. He takes joy in us. He shelters us. He comforts us. Even in his discipline, he is loving above all.
4. God is the boss. He gets to make the rules, and he gets to choose the manner of discipline.
5. God treats us with respect. Sure, he makes rules and he disciplines. But he lets us make our choices (and live with the results). He respects us as individuals and does not force himself or his love on us. He doesn't come into our lives until we invite him in.

So how can we apply these same principles as parents?

1. In our family, we took #1 very literally. We wrote our family rules on paper, discussed and explained each rule to the kids...and we also wrote the appropriate disciplines for each rule should it be broken. I think this step was so important for our kids and for us. As parents, we have a game plan ALL of the time. The kids know what's expected of them, and they know what the outcome will be should they choose to break a rule. It's amazingly peaceful to have all of this literally written down.

2. We do our very best to be ultra consistent. Again, it brings peace to our children (and us) for them to know what's expected. If we're not consistent, then they have to live under a cloud of uncertainty and fear.

3. The reason for all this rule making and discipline is our love for our children. We're trying to "raise our children in the way they should go". We do lots of talking and explaining and discussing to help our kids know how to make good choices. And when we do have to discipline, we stick to the plan (from #1) and we do lots of hugs and kisses after their discipline. And by the way, we're not all rules and discipline around here! The VAST majority of our time is spent just enjoying each other as a family and doing fun and silly stuff :)

4. Daddy is the boss around here. We've tried to make it clear through example and discussion that Mommy and Daddy are partners...a team...but that Daddy is ultimately the "boss". We also let the kids know that the Lord is Daddy's "boss". The kids get a kick out of that :)

5. We make it a point to treat our children with respect. What does this look like in practical terms? We give them privacy when they want it, we say "please" and "thank you" all of the time, and we express our appreciation of them and their good choices (not just as a "positive discipline" tactic, but as a genuine show of respect). When hubby or I mess up, we apologize to the offended party and ask for forgiveness. And we give them choices. Sometimes they don't like the choices presented to them...but they get to choose none the less :) We truly love and respect our children as unique individuals, and try to treat them in a way that shows it.

We're not perfect parents, by any stretch. As I indicated, we mess up...plenty! But at the end of the day, I hope even our moments of weakness will teach our children valuable lessons. I hope they learn what it means to be a responsible, loving, compassionate child of our Almighty God. After all, that's what we're trying to teach them to be...not good kids, but great adults.

How about you? How has God helped you to be a better parent?

Seek The Lord Sunday Participants

1. Home with Amy 2. Andrea\'s Life

3. Everyday Becky 4. Kimberly

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STLS: Christianity & Marriage

This week's topic for Seek The Lord Sunday is:

Tell us about how following Christ has had an impact on your marriage.

I hesitated to make this a topic because I didn't want to leave single folks out of the fun. If the topic of marriage doesn't apply to your life right now, please share how being a Christian has had an impact on another relationship in you life.

The verse that comes to my mind when talking about Christians and marriage is probably the same verse that comes to mind for lots of people:

Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ. Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything. Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her. Ephesians 5:21-25

To be perfectly honest, these verses rubbed me the wrong way for many years. I've always been a pretty independent gal...I can do anything myself and don't need a man's help...where's my bra? It needs to be burned!

I loved my husband. I respected my husband. I adored my husband. I supported my husband and his dreams. But submit to him? I don't think so. We're equal partners here...a team. No one submits to anyone! And what do you mean my husband is the head of me? I have my own head, and it contains my very own capable brains, thank-you-very-much!

It's interesting to note that these rebellious and/or independent attitudes are the same attitudes I had toward God too. This is my life. Let me live it. I'll accept you...at least the parts that "work for me".

Ahh, I wouldn't go back there for all the money in the world! Being so bull headed and "independent" was an incredible, exhausting amount of WORK. When I finally submitted myself to God and His ideas about who I am and who my husband is...there was such peace in that! God made us, after all. It seems obvious (at least now) that He would know best how we "fit" as a family with one another.

Okay, so I've submitted to God. It took a bit longer for me to accept the idea of submitting to my husband. Don't get me wrong. My husband is an amazing man...THE most amazing man I've ever known, in fact. But he's still a man. He's not perfect. And I still didn't like the idea of submitting to anyone but God Almighty.

But one day I felt called to this role of submission. I didn't like it one bit! It didn't make sense to me that God would make me a strong woman only to have me submit to someone else for the rest of my life. But I decided to do it anyway. It took a deliberate choice on my part. I chose to submit to my husband out of reverence for Christ. There are times when I don't want to submit for my husband's sake...so I do it for Jesus' sake. I do it because Jesus is worthy of my submission and He asks me to submit to my husband.

Whew...that was a tough pill for me to swallow!

What does submission look like in practical terms? For us, it meant that we still talk through everything like we always have. We still make decisions together. We are still a team. There are times when we disagree, but one person feels much stronger about their position, so we usually go with their way of things. But when it comes down to a disagreement that we just can't come to a resolution on...that's when hubby gets his way. For me, submission to my husband also means that I pray LOTS more for him. I pray for God's guidance and wisdom.

And do you know what happened when I made the deliberate choice to submit to my husband? A miracle, that's what. When I began to treat my husband with the respect that God says is due him...he grew. He was a great guy to start with, but with God at work in our marriage, my husband became a great Man of God. He became a stronger man. He thrived on my respect and submission. He felt his God given responsibility of being the head of our household, and he lived up to that responsibility.

And I grew too. Since I no longer felt the need to be the one calling all the shots and since my husband was stepping into his role as head of our family, I could focus on the roles that God DID call me to. It was so liberating and joyful and peaceful! I'm so thankful to God for all the work He's done in our marriage and for my amazing husband.

Now it's your turn...share how Jesus has worked in your relationship. I'm looking forward to reading all about it!

Seek The Lord Sunday Participants

1. Kimberly

2. Becky

3. Lisa

Learn more about Seek The Lord Sunday here.

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I Guess It's Goodbye...

Thomas and I are off to Wisconsin tomorrow morning. My alarm is set for (gulp) 4:30 AM. Gag.

I hate saying goodbye to my kids. Why am I so afraid when I have to fly without them? Hubby and I were talking about how I don't think twice about running to the store, when there is a far greater chance of me dying on the way to the store than there is of me dying in a plane crash. Heck, there's a greater chance that I'd fall and hit my head and die at the store! There's a greater chance that I'd be shot to death at the store!

In fact, do you know how many Americans died in commercial plane crashes last year? Zero.

And did you know that there is a greater chance that you will die in an ox-powered cart crash, than in a plane crash? Yes, an ox. A big, hairy animal...pulling a cart. More dangerous than tons of steel flying through the air.

You'd think that I'd feel safe since I know how flying works. I studied engineering in school...I get the mechanics of how they get the thing in the air. I can see why it's so safe.

But when it's me or someone I love? When it involves my children being without their one and only Mommy? Scares me to death.

In fact...you're going to think I'm crazy...but I actually wrote half a post titled "Well, I guess I'm dead!" It was a big long love letter to my family...I just kept getting choked up and decided I was making myself sick for nothing, so I deleted it (I was going to schedule it to publish several days after my return...if I made it home, I'd delete it...if I didn't...well, you get it).

I told hubby about it. Then I went on and on about how much I love him and the kids, and how he's a great daddy, and how even if something happened to me that he should try to find love in his life, and tell the kids every day how much Mommy loved and adored them. I also told him that I know he'd do a great job of taking care of them if I were gone.

He rolled his eyes at me...and then with a teasing twinkle in his eye he said, "It'd be alright. I've never really loved you anyway." I proceeded to punch him. Hard. With knuckles. And giggles. He always gets me to giggle. It's one of the reasons I love him so much. The punk.

So, I'm off! If you think of it, pray for me and for my family while I'm away. Cuz, you know, I hold the whole place together when I'm home (insert chuckle and more eye rolling from hubby here).

I'm all ready for Seek The Lord Sunday, so I'll see you then :)

One Merciful God, One Lunatic, & One Very Wise Man

Well, we made it home last night! Technically, it was this morning that we made it home...but we slept in our own beds for at least part of the night, so I'm calling it making it home last night.

By the time we got to the Milwaukee airport, our flight was already so delayed that we could see that we'd miss our connecting flight in Chicago. Imagine my surprise...you all know how I love the Chicago airport! I was tickled when we were actually switched to a different airline, and re-routed to fly through Minneapolis instead of Chicago. Thank you, Lord! Even if the worst happened, I'd rather be sleeping in the Minneapolis airport than the Chicago.

Time was tight though, so we had to hustle through security. Have you ever tried hustling through security? With four kids? How about when you're "randomly chosen" to have advanced screening done? Yes...it was lovely. My 5 year old daughter actually got patted down. I was gritting me teeth the whole time (more on that later). They went to pat Samantha down, but she ran away screaming "No! Daddy!" Thankfully, they didn't force her. She's been known to carry bombs in her pants, but not of the type they'd be interested in.

It was also extra special to watch a young man open every single pocket and pouch and nook and cranny of my carry-on bag. He looked through every crevice of my wallet. He felt and squished every spare diaper to feel for...I don't know...weapons? And the best part? When he found THE small purse within my carry-on. It holds my...ah hem...feminine hygiene products in the event of an emergency. Girls, you know what I mean. He pulled them all out. He felt each one. He then, oh so delicately, with his man hands, tried to shove everything back into place.

"Attention travelers! Please... someone left something very important back at the security checkpoint. It appears to be a woman's last remaining shred of dignity. Please return and do the chicken dance in your undies if you'd like to claim it."

Hey, it could be worse. At least I wasn't this gal.

So on we went to our gate, where they stopped us and told us that the booster seats we'd schlepped through the airport could not go on the plane. To their credit, the darn things say right on them that they're not FAA approved. I didn't know...it was especially confusing and frustrating since we'd brought them on planes before with no problems. It was at this point that I did more gritting of teeth. I actually turned away, bit down into a blanket of Thomas' I was carrying...but held my tongue. Oh, what a proud moment. I'm not usually much of a tongue holder. See me? I'm so mature.

After that, our flight went smoothly. We went on to Minneapolis without a hitch.

Our layover was long enough that we were able to get a bite to eat and let the kids run and play for a while. It was nice. We got the kiddos all jammied up before the next flight, got settled in...and waited for over an hour for them to make a seat belt repair. More gritting of teeth. Finally...we were on our way. Only 3 more hours until we touch down in Boise! And get our bags! And get a cab! And drive home! Only...!

We finally got home at about 2 AM. See? God answered my prayers. We were home. We were safe. It was...um...an adventure...but all things considered, we really couldn't complain. God is good. God is Merciful.

So the lunatic? If you haven't figured it out already...that would be me. I've been a hormonal mess the past couple of days. Was I like this before having babies? No, really....Hubby, I don't actually want you to answer.

Before we left Wisconsin, I stopped by the store to get a bottle of "bitchy pills". I believe the stuff is called "Pamprin" (what a terrible name). I gave them a little shake, and showed them to my Hubby. "Hey look! They actually make bitchy pills! I bought some, maybe they'll work. It actually says right on the bottle: 'for irritability'. Isn't that great?!"

Hubby looked at me. He opened his mouth and shut it again several times with no sounds coming out. He concluded by saying "I am SO going to keep my mouth shut", and he walked out of the room leaving me shaking my bottle of Pamprin.

Now that, ladies and gentleman, is my husband. He is a VERY. WISE. MAN.

The Language Of Love

As you know, my Mom is in town for a visit this week. She's been working hard at spoiling all of us. I got to sneak back to bed yesterday morning after a really rough night with Thomas. And Samantha has her tongue-tied with all the books they've been reading...no less than 20 just yesterday! And the big kids...coloring, reading, swing pushing, walking, etc. And Thomas. Well, that kid just can hardly tolerate being put down, and he weighs almost 18 pounds...quite the little back-breaker, he is. I'm not even going to talk about the dishes and shopping and laundry and vacuuming she's been doing. Yes...I make her earn her keep when she visits ;)

I'm afraid mom will never come back if the work load doesn't lighten up a bit!

I was tucking my kids into bed last night, and I was asking them about their day. I always ask, "Did you have a nice day?", "What was your favorite part?", and "What was your least favorite part?" Benjamin took me by surprise with his answers last night.

Yes, he had a good day.

And his favorite part? "Getting a big scratch on my arm"

"No, I said you favorite part, not your least favorite."

"I know! Getting a scratch was my favorite."

"What?! Why? Didn't it hurt?"

"Well, yeah. But then Grandma helped me. She kissed me and hugged me and said I could have a band-aid. And then she said I did a really great job of putting the band-aid on."

"So you liked getting hurt, just so Grandma could help you?"

"Yeah. Grandma could have just said 'oh, it's just a scratch, you're fine'. But she helped me instead. That's how she loved me - by taking good care of me. Grandma loved me - that's all."

Well...I was pretty much out of words after that exchange with my little 6 year old man!

But he got me thinking. He had never articulated so clearly before just what makes him feel loved. I tell my kids all the time...I mean ALL. THE. TIME. that I love them. But it sounds like my little Ben speaks a different "love language".

I know...the "love language" thing has been done already. Honestly, I haven't read any of the books on the subject yet. As I understand it though, the general idea is that we all feel the most loved when someone shows their love for us in our "primary love language".

There are five. Here they are:
1. Words of Affirmation
2. Quality Time
3. Receiving of Gifts
4. Acts of Service
5. Physical Touch

What is your primary love language? You can click HERE to take a quick quiz and find out. It might be fun to have your kids or spouse take the quiz too and compare notes with them.

Good thing for my Hubby and our budget...I scored the lowest on Gifts. But hey...if he ever gets sick of emptying the dishwasher or giving me foot rubs...diamonds are always good.

He Actually Reads This Stuff!

I just learned that my husband reads all of my posts! I figured he would have had enough of my ramblings by now. I guess not!

He says he likes to find out what's going on in my head in small, understandable chunks, on his schedule, and without having to actually talk to me. He was kidding...I think?! No really...he was kidding, I'm sure of it...I think.

Actually - he told me how I could explain it. He says he doesn't have time to talk to me because he's too busy doing housework. Now THAT...that I'm sure he's kidding about!

For those of you who know my husband, you know that I'm joking. Yes, he does read my posts...and yes, this is news to me. But my dear sweet man...well, he makes other husbands just plain look BAD (are you blushing yet, hubby?). He's tall, handsome, a great daddy, and a hard worker. He's also creative, funny, sweet, considerate, and very thoughtful. He listens to me ramble even when it involves me (gasp!) crying OR talking to him during a game. And on top of all that, he really does do lots of housework. He's great in lots of other ways too, but I'll stop now because I'm sure I've embarrassed him enough...