You Get What You Get, And You Don't Throw A Fit!

Happy weekend, everyone! I hope you're having a good one :)

This week, we're writing about a lesson we've learned recently. What has God been showing you...teaching you?

Personally, I learn a lot of God's lessons from my children. This week was no different. Clara, my 5 year old, taught me this important lesson.

For those of you with 5 year olds, you've probably heard, "It's not Faaaaair!" many times. I'm beginning to think it's about all she can say these days, and it is driving me positively crazy! I can't seem to do anything that's "fair" in her eyes. Someone always has more than her...more computer time, more snuggles, more ice cream, more books, more time with friends. Even I've begun to look at the world differently. As I'm dividing up the dessert into the kids' bowls, I'm thinking, "Okay, now will Clara think that this looks fair?"

Well, just a few days ago, it really came to a head. I gave the kids bowls of grapes as a snack. Knowing that Clara would immediately look at her bowl and compare it to the contents of her siblings' bowls and bellow, "Hey! They have more than me, that's not fair!", I actually counted the grapes as they went in the bowls. Yes, I counted them. Each and every bowl got exactly 15 grapes. Exactly.

And what did Clara think? You guessed it...not fair. I'd had it. My blood began to boil a bit after all my effort to make it not only fair, but precisely and exactly fair. I took a deep breath and said (I wish more calmly),

"Clara, it IS fair. It's perfectly fair. I counted the grapes and you have exactly as many grapes as your brother and sister. It only looks unfair to you because you automatically assume that it's not fair and that you're getting the short stick.

And do you know what else? When you are always looking at what other people have and wanting it for yourself....do you know what that's called? It's called coveting, my dear, and it's no good. In fact, God even talks about it in the Bible. He says we shouldn't do it. Do you know why? Because when you're so busy looking at someone else's stuff, you're too busy to enjoy the blessings sitting right in front of you. Like that bowl of grapes...they're delicious. Why don't you just look at that bowl, and say "YUM!", thank me for giving them to you, an enjoy them?!

And that reminds me...I am your Mommy, Clara. I love you very very much, and I always do things fairly. And if I don't? Well, then there's a darn good reason for it, and you're just going to have to trust me. Sometimes you just get what you get, and you don't throw a fit. NOW EAT YOUR 15 GRAPES!"

As you can imagine, she looked at me with those beautiful, wide, green eyes of hers. Then she looked at her bowl. Then she said, "yummy, thank you Mommy", and enjoyed the heck out of those grapes!

Of course, I had to apologize to her for getting so upset...but the lesson, it seemed to sink in a bit! And even more importantly, I learned a thing or two about coveting.

Logically...intelectually...I've always understood that we "shall not covet". I understood what coveting was and I could recognize it in my own life. But until that moment with my precious girl, I had never really grasped what it must do to God's heart when we covet. What a blessing it was to be taught that lesson.

In the spirit of really Seeking The Lord this Sunday, I've done a search of the Bible for some scripture that talks about coveting and, it's opposite, contentment. I found some interesting passages. First, the obvious:

"You shall not covet your neighbor's house. You shall not covet your neighbor's wife, or his manservant or maidservant, his ox or donkey, or anything that belongs to your neighbor." Exodus 20:17

And then I found this one in Romans 13:9:
"The commandments, "Do not commit adultery," "Do not murder," "Do not steal," "Do not covet," and whatever other commandment there may be, are summed up in this one rule: "Love your neighbor as yourself.""

This Romans passage really hit a nerve with me too, because it described another reason that Clara's coveting was so painful for me. Not only was she not enjoying her blessings and not trusting me...but she was wanting less for her brother and sister! As their Mommy, it always breaks my heart when they're not a team...when they're not rooting for each other....when they're not wanting the best for one another. And when Clara wanted what Ben had? She wanted more for herself and less for him. She was not loving him as herself.

And then there's Hebrews 13:5:
"Keep your lives free from the love of money and be content with what you have, because God has said, "Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you.""

And Philippians 4:11-12:
"I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do everything through him who gives me strength."

Now we're getting to the heart of it, aren't we? It all comes back to Him...it always does :) We are to avoid coveting, and choose contentment. But why? Because we have HIM. He will never leave us. He will never forsake us. And everything we need to do? We can do it through Him.

So really...what do we need to covet? We are complete in him. We are daughters and sons of the King of Kings...princesses and princes! So let's get to the business of enjoying our blessings and loving one another...really loving one another...even if it means that someone will end up with "more" and it won't be "fair".


P.S. I've written about contentment before. If you'd like to read that post, click HERE.

Seek The Lord Sunday Participants

1. Home with Amy 2. Untypically Jia 3. Amanda (my new blog)

4. Peggy@Mazes... 5. Mama Belle 6. Kimberly

7. Sheila @ The Faithful Follower 8. Andrea

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The Heart Of A Man

My heart just about burst with pride this evening as I saw my oldest son grow right before my eyes.

It started as I was getting the kids to bed. Clara and Benjamin came walking up to me, each holding one end of something long and black. Clara said, "Look what we found in the play room Mommy. It's yours!"

It was the chest strap to my heart rate monitor.

"Hey! That IS mine! How did it end up in the play room? That's not okay!"

I looked back and forth between their two faces. Their pride in presenting me with something they knew belonged to me had vanished and was replaced with a fear of getting in trouble.

"Not me!", they said in unison.

"Well, I certainly didn't put it up there. One of you must have. Who? I expect honesty."

"Samantha must have done it", suggested Benjamin.

"No. I keep it on top of my dresser, and Sammy can't reach up there."

"Now who?"

Silence.

"Okay, well, no allowance for either of you until I get honesty from whoever took it."

The evening went on. Teeth...brushed. Jammies...on. Room...straightened. Faces...washed. Books...chosen.

I ran downstairs to grab something, and on my way back up, Benjamin met me in the middle.

"Mommy? You know that black strap thing? I took it from your room. I'm sorry. I didn't know that it was so important to you."

I could see the fear in his eyes, but also the relief of having told the truth.

"Oh, Benjamin. I do wish you hadn't taken something that wasn't yours, but I am very proud of you for telling me the truth. I forgive you, Sweetie."

Big hugs. I could feel his heart pounding.

"Were you a little afraid to tell me the truth?"

I was expecting a simple "Yeah", but out gushed: "YES. I was. It was so confusing. My heart (pointing to his chest) was telling me to be honest, but my head (pointing to his right temple) was telling me 'Trouble!' I just didn't know what to do!"

Oh, did I have to fight back the tears to respond to him! I was almost choking on my tears of pride.

"Yeah, it can be confusing. I know how that feels, I've felt that way before too. It's a yucky feeling, huh? Do you feel better now that you told me the truth?"

"Yeah."

"Try to remember how yucky it felt to lie to me the next time you're confused, okay? Maybe it will help you to remember that it's always best to tell the truth."

"Okay."

"Do you know what you did tonight, Benjamin? Do you know what you did when you were brave and told me the truth? When you did the right thing even though it might have gotten you in big trouble?"

"What?"

"You did what a man does. This shows me that you're growing into a very good man, and I'm so proud of you."

(A quiet nod from Ben)

"And do you know what else it shows me?"

"What?"

"It shows me that Jesus is talking to you, and that you're listening. It's not always easy to do, but it's so very important. He loves you very much, and He will never lead you down the wrong path."


"Yeah! I hear him talking to me in a little voice all the time!"

Oh my...now I was REALLY fighting the tears and was covered in goose-bumps.

"Well, I'm pretty sure that Jesus is proud of you tonight too."

"Yeah", with a proud smile and a big hug.

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Oh Lord, thank you. Thank you for this little boy who is already showing the heart of a man. Not any man. Your man. Thank you for saving him, and for being so near to him each day. I pray you'll continue to guide his steps. And keep his ears open, Lord. Keep them open so that he can always hear your voice. I pray you'll protect his future. Do great things with this boy, Lord. He loves you so much already. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you!

Please...Let Me Be The Mommy!

Have I mentioned yet that I'm pretty sure that I have Carpal Tunnel Syndrome? No joke! By the end of the day I have shooting pains from my neck to my finger tips, and the palm of my right hand is just throbbing. I think it's from mouse-clicking all the time. Or maybe it's from wagging my finger back and forth as I scold my kids ;)

Seriously though...something is going on. It's quite the crisis for me! This computer stuff is my hobby...my outlet...my very sanity! What can I do? Avoid the computer?! Ha!

The only reason I mention it is to explain the drop in my writing. I used to get an idea, run to the computer, and by the end of the day I'd have 3 or 4 posts published! But now? Well, I've had to just do one and then step (drag myself) away from the computer.

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On another note, I wanted to share a brief "lesson from the kids" today. Why do I always tend to do these on Friday, I wonder??

My sweet Clara Rose...bless her curious, energetic, helpful heart. She is constantly wanting to take care of things for me when it comes to mothering the little ones. She scolds Sammy, she tends to Thomas, she fetches the nail clippers and diaper ointment for me, and she kisses owies. She will be an amazing mommy some day.

But for now...she's pretty much driving me crazy!

I know she has a willing and helpful heart when she "helps", but it usually causes more trouble than not. Thomas ends up crying. Sammy ends up frustrated and screaming. The milk gets spilled. Samantha is confused by getting her marching orders from more than one "mom". What to do?

I've found myself saying the same thing over and over lately, "Clara, please just let me be the mommy, okay?"

Well, after a week like I had this week...working double time to get pretty much nothing done...I feel like I'm the one working hard only to wind up with spilled milk and a scolding! Ever had a week or a day like that? Every single thing you try to do is just so much WORK...only to have it backfire anyway??

As I was again reminding Clara to "let me be the mommy" this morning, I felt that still small voice speaking to my heart, "And you, my love, just need to let me be the Daddy!"

I realized then just how little time I had spent in conversation with the Lord lately. Ahh, when will I learn?

So this weekend is, for me, a time to reconnect. A time to just rest in the fact that He is the Daddy. He is the one responsible for taking care of things, for getting the work done, for healing hurts, and for providing the necessities. I don't have to work so hard. This weekend, I'm going to focus on letting him be the Daddy.

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Don't forget to come by Sunday and participate in "Seek The Lord Sunday". See you then...

Who Are You Going To Believe?

For some reason, I tend to do the "Lessons From The Kids" posts on Fridays. I'm not sure why. Today is no different...here's a good one:

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Ben was about 4, Clara about 3

I was driving in the car with Ben and Clara, when Clara (as always) kicked off her shoes.

Benjamin immediately piped up, “Naughty Clara! Now you can’t come into the store with us. You’ll have to stay in the car!”

Clara got an anxious look on her face and said, “Mommy, I come in with you?”

“Of course you can come in. I’d never leave you alone in the car, sweetie.”

Clara reported my response to Ben, but he continued to taunt her with his threat of leaving her alone in the car. She would ask me again if she could come, and I would reassure her. This discussion went round and round for several minutes, until I finally tired of it. Clara was getting very upset, and her big brother was enjoying his ability to get under her skin!

Benjamin finally said very firmly, “No, you CAN’T come in!”, so Clara asked me once again, and I reassured her that “Of course she could come in with us”. She responded with, “But Ben keeps saying I can’t!”

I paused, trying to figure out how to reassure her once and for all. Finally, I just said, “Who are you going to believe, Benjamin or Mommy?” Clara thought about it, and her face brightened. She turned to her brother and said with certainty and plenty of spunk, “I CAN come in the store – Mommy said I could!”

How much time do we all spend choosing to listen to and believe the wrong one...the father of lies?

God reassures us time and time again that He loves us, He cares for us, we have no reason to fear, that we will be with Him in Heaven some day, that there is no longer condemnation for us, and that all works to the good of God’s children…I could go on!

And yet our enemy continues to taunt us with his ridicule and judgments. He tries to convince us that we’re not good enough for Heaven, that this whole ‘Jesus thing’ is just a fairy tale, that God’s Word is a lie, that God doesn’t really care for us, and even that God hurts us intentionally for His good pleasure! Well…who are we going to believe?

Who are you going to believe today?

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You belong to your father, the devil, and you want to carry out your father's desire. He was a murderer from the beginning, not holding to the truth, for there is no truth in him. When he lies, he speaks his native language, for he is a liar and the father of lies. John 8:44

Be self-controlled and alert. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour. 1 Peter 5:8

This is the meaning of the parable: The seed is the word of God. 12Those along the path are the ones who hear, and then the devil comes and takes away the word from their hearts, so that they may not believe and be saved. Luke 8:11-12

and do not give the devil a foothold. Ephesians 4:27

Put on the full armor of God so that you can take your stand against the devil's schemes. Ephesians 6:11

Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you. And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age. Jesus, Matthew 28:19-20 (emphasis mine)

Parenting Dilemma Part 2

Some of you may have already read about yesterday's parenting dilemma. What do you think? What would you have done? I promised to write about how I handled it, so here's the end of the story...

Several hours passed after our last conversation where Clara said that she didn't want to tell me the truth because she was afraid of getting into trouble. I was waiting for Clara to initiate a conversation with me, but it turns out that "Mommy, I made a mistake when I lied to you, would you forgive me? I did hit my sister, and I'm sorry"....just a little too much to expect from a 5 year old who feels like she got away with her "crime". So I started the conversation back up again.

"Clara, are you ready to tell me the truth yet?"

"No. I don't want to get into trouble."

"OK. Well, I've been thinking about this a lot. I'm going to give you this one last opportunity to tell me the truth. Now...did you hit Samantha earlier?"

"No" (said with all the tell-tale signs of someone who is not telling the truth)

"Clara, I heard you hit her. I heard you arguing, I heard the sound of hitting, then I heard you run away, and I heard Samantha start to cry. I know that you hit her and that you just lied to me."

Clara started crying because she knew she'd had it.

"Now you'll have to have the discipline for both hitting your sister AND for lying to Mommy. What do you think would have happened if you had told me the truth?"

"I would have only been in trouble for hitting?"

"That's right."

So I followed through with the discipline for lying and for hitting. Clara wasn't happy...discipline is always tough to swallow even when you know you've messed up. But the best part...after all that discussing and disciplining and crying...we had a really great talk.

"Clara, how did you feel inside when you were lying to me? Did it feel fun and good, or did it feel yucky and a little scary?"

"Yucky."

"It felt yucky for me too because it made me feel so sad. Do you know why it's important to always tell me the truth?"

"No. I don't like getting into trouble."

"It's important because you always telling me the truth is one of the things I count on to keep you safe. It's also important because God tells us that we shouldn't lie to each other. Another important reason is that when people love each other, one of the ways we show our love is to treat each other with honesty and respect. It hurt me when you lied. It hurt a lot."

"Sorry Mommy."

"Now, tell me the truth Clara. Did you hit your sister?"

"Yes."

"Do you know what? I love you very much. I'll always love you even when you make bad choices and when you lie to me. It makes me feel good that you told me the truth just now and that you said 'sorry'. Do you feel better inside now that you told me the truth?"

"Yes."

"And, hey, do you know what else?"

"What?"

"I forgive you. I forgive you just like Jesus forgives us when we tell him the truth and say 'sorry'. He loves you no matter what too."

(Big sighs and hugs)

"Do you want to talk about this any more?"

"No."

"Me either. Let's be all done and go make dinner."

"OK!"

And then it was just...done.

And of course, as always, I think I learned more from this than she even did. I experienced the role of forgiver, and it was really interesting to be on that end for once!

So what did I learn about forgiveness?

- First, I learned how very crucial repentance is. Every now and then when I don't feel like owning up to something with God, I think "Hey, he knows my heart. He knows that I regret what I did. He knows I learned my lesson and won't do it again." But that is not the same as repentance. Clara felt "yucky" about lying too...but it was very hurtful to me that she wouldn't come and talk with me about it and make it right! It wasn't until I heard her admit the truth and she apologized that I felt our relationship could be truly restored. Eye opening! It takes a certain amount of humility and effort to really repent...talk to God, admit my mistake, and apologize...but that effort and humility are very important.

- Second, once we were done talking about it, it was simply OVER. I don't feel the desire to keep reminding her of the incident. And I don't want her to keep bringing it up either. Sometimes I feel the need to continually ask for forgiveness, or to continually tell God how awful I feel. But if Clara did this? I think I'd respond with something like, "Haven't we been through this already? It's over! Let's move on!" I think I'll try to do a little movin' on myself.

- Third, I gained a little insight in to the idea of God's faithfulness. What if God was less faithful? Sometimes I wish he was less faithful, to be honest! I don't like being disciplined. Sometimes I'd rather he just say "Aww, well I'll let it slide this time." But what if I had done that with Clara? She would have missed out on learning an important lesson about honesty. She would have been left with that yucky feeling in her heart indefinitely. And she wouldn't know what to expect from me in the future. God's faithfulness...his consistency to always do what he says he'll do...what peace there is in that! Even when it means short term suffering in the form of discipline, it's so much better than not knowing what to expect from him. What a scary way to live that would be.

- And Fourth, I learned just how important it is for me to remain faithful...consistent...dependable. For all the reasons that I'm thankful that God is faithful, those are the reasons that I want to offer that peace of mind to my loved ones.

Nothing like a light hearted, no-brainer post for a Friday afternoon, eh?!

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"Therefore, my brothers, I want you to know that through Jesus the forgiveness of sins is proclaimed to you." Acts 13:38

"Know therefore that the LORD your God is God; he is the faithful God, keeping his covenant of love to a thousand generations of those who love him and keep his commands." Deuternonomy 7:9

"If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness." 1 John 1:9

"Know then in your heart that as a man disciplines his son, so the LORD your God disciplines you." Deuteronomy 8:5

"Blessed is the man whom God corrects; so do not despise the discipline of the Almighty." Job 5:17

Lesson From The Kids: Judging Others

Well, with all the terrible stories from yesterday behind (hee hee) us, I thought it might be a good day for another "Lesson From the Kids." This took place when Ben was about 4 years old:

I was in our garden picking berries with Benjamin. We had our defined jobs...I was picking the ones that had become over-ripe, and was throwing them away. Ben’s job was to focus only on the juicy red ones that would be good for dessert. He was eating more than he was gathering, but hey, that's half the fun.

But then he started to watch what I was doing and decided that he wanted to help me do my job. He started trying to pick the bad ones, and made a terrible mess of things…eating yucky ones, putting raspberries in the wrong bowls, throwing out good ones, and getting confused about how to decide what was good and bad. I had to continually remind him that it was mommy’s job, and mommy’s job only, to decide which berries were to be thrown out. He was to only look for the yummy ones, and to treat them with TLC so that we could have them for dessert.

When I found this story in my file this morning, I felt that all too familiar feeling of conviction. You know what I mean? It's that gentle, yet firm, voice or feeling that says "You, my dear one, need to pay attention to this lesson!"

I'm paying attention.

I cringe this morning as I realize how I am often guilty of judging others....even though the Bible is clear...it is not my job to do so.

I'm reminded of an analogy: we are to be witnesses, and witnesses only. We are not the defense attorney. We are not the prosecuting attorney. We are not the jury. And no...we are not the judge. All we are called to do is to be a witness - to faithfully, truthfully, and with love, tell the world about OUR experience with the Lord. The rest is His work.

Now...are we supposed to sit idly by when we see lies being circulated? No. It is OK to make a judgement call and to act when we see deception being promoted. More than OK...we are called to fight for Truth.

Ephesians 6:14-18
Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in place, and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace. In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one. Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God.

Many people hold the belief that a Christian is not supposed to fight...that they are supposed to be only loving and accepting of all people and all circumstances. When we stand for the truth we are accused of being "un-Christ like" or "closed minded". But remember...even Jesus got really, really mad! Remember when he stormed into the temple court and turned tables and hollered and drove people out with a whip? Yeah! That's my Jesus!

Why did he do that? He did it because he saw sin going on, and God is not accepting of sin. We are to stand for righteousness. We are to stand up for the Truth of God.

But, let me get back to my point. What is my point? My point is just to remind you (and myself) of this:

1 Corinthians 4:4-6

My conscience is clear, but that does not make me innocent. It is the Lord who judges me. Therefore judge nothing before the appointed time; wait till the Lord comes. He will bring to light what is hidden in darkness and will expose the motives of men's hearts. At that time each will receive his praise from God.

And this:

1 Corinthians 5:12
What business is it of mine to judge those outside the church? Are you not to judge those inside God will judge those outside.

As Christians, we are not called to judge the hearts of men. It is only up to God to judge because he is the only one who is qualified to do the job. He is the only one who can see the motives of men's hearts. He is the only one who can see what is hidden in darkness.

And you know what? When I really think about it, I'm relieved that it's not my job. That job is a big responsibility...a big burden. I'm happy to let the One who is qualified do it.

So now, if you'll excuse me I'm going to go focus on only the "good berries." I'm going to focus on the amazing blessings that God has given me. I'm going to focus on what I am called to do with my time...care for my family and for myself, read my Bible, encourage and love my Christian brothers and sisters, and to try and let my little light shine just a bit.

PS. I would be neglectful if I didn't ask: Do you know about Jesus? Do you want to know more? Do you want to know how to have that relationship with him that you keep hearing about? If so, click HERE. These folks explain everything really well, and can take you through it step by step. Blessings to you!

God Just...IS

I learned a great lesson from my little Samantha tonight.

She has this cute little game lately. She leans in real close, looks you in the eye, and says, "Know what?" I naturally ask, "What?" And she says "Babble, babble, babble, babble." Then she'll giggle and start all over with "Know what?" It's so cute!

Another Samantha-ism of late is being oh-so-contrary. It must be a two thing. Everything is "No" or "Yucky" or "Don't want to". It, on the other hand, is not so cute.

These two things came together in an interesting way tonight as we were playing. She leaned in and said "Know what?" "What" "Mama, Daddy, swimming, Yaya, Papa, goo goo da boo dah" (giggle, giggle) :)

I decided to play along. I leaned in real close and whispered, "Hey Sammy, know what?"

And with a sparkle in her eye, she responded "What?"

I whispered, "I love you."

She leaned in with a whisper of her own, "NO!"

I kept saying "Yup, I love you." And she'd respond with a proud and defiant chin in the air and arms crossed over her stubborn little chest..."NO!" We went 'round several times.

Finally I said, "Samantha, my sweet, you can deny it all you want. Just because you say 'no' doesn't mean it isn't so! Mommy loves you and there's nothing you can do about it, that's just the way it is!"

Well...that was probably too many words for a two year old. She just gave me a blank look and repeated her opposition to the whole idea. But it turns out, my words were not for her after all. They were for me. As soon as they came out of my mouth, I could almost hear the Spirit saying "YES!"

I am so thankful that God just IS. He is not defined by me. He is not relative to me or my ideas or my stubbornness or my circumstances in any way.

He loves me even when I think he shouldn't or when I think maybe he doesn't.

He saved me through the blood of Jesus alone... even when I have doubt or fear of performance-anxiety about life.

He watches over me and has a plan for me...a plan to prosper me and not harm me, even when it doesn't seem so.

He saved me by his own blood...whether or not I think that's a good or wise or fair plan.

Even if not a single soul believes in him or seeks him out...he is still there, and he is not changed one bit through all that doubt.

He just IS. Praise God…That’s just the way it is.

"And God said to Moses, I AM WHO I AM." Exodus 3:14a

Beyond My Wildest Dreams

I thought that today might be a nice time for another in my "Lessons From The Kids" series. It's a short and simple one, but I think of it often. Leave me your comments to let me know how it applies to you...I'd love to hear.

Have a great weekend!

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(Clara, 2 years)

I was handing out little vanilla cookies to the kids. I had my hand in the box, and was pulling out 3 cookies for Clara. Before I could get my hand out of the box, Clara said, “Not one, mommy…TWO please”. So I gave her her greatest wish at that moment – two cookies. If only she had simply held out her hand and trusted me, she would have had more that she even dreamed of asking for!

It struck me how often I ask for something that I think would be wonderful…instead of simply holding out my hand and trusting the Lord to give me what He has in mind for me. Something tells me that the blessings would be beyond my wildest dreams...

“If you, then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask him!” Matthew 7:11

“You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies. You anoint my head with oil; my cup overflows. Surely goodness and love will follow me all the days of my life, and I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever.” Psalm 23:5-6

Another Lesson From The Kids

My sister gave my kids some cute little hooks for Christmas. They are little peg-type hooks, with a decorative background. She hand painted them each - including each child's name. It was so special for the kids to have something so unique and "all theirs" to put up in their room!

It was while my husband and I were hanging them, that we learned our lesson from the kids. I should clarify a bit...my husband is more than capable of hanging hooks all by his big-boy self. I'm just there as an...advisor. He calls me the "architectural committee". To put it simply, I tell him where to hang the picture, hook, shelf, etc. He hangs said thing.

Back to the story..."we" were hanging the hooks. The kids were having a grand old time "helping". First, they mistakenly thought that they were part of my architectural committe. I had to remind them that I am a committee of ONE. They can decide where things go in their room if they're put up with tape...I get to decide when screws or nails are involved. And once the project had been turned over to Daddy, Benjamin went on and on and on and ON...describing to Daddy just how to do his job.

Now, my husband is the single most patient human being I've ever known. I'm not kidding. He amazes me with all the chatter and poking and tickling and teasing and "help" he can tolerate! He's made for this "Daddy" gig!

But during this particular project, the chatter and the suggestions and the "NO DADDY, you do it like this"...well, it got to be too much for even my wonderful man. And being the man that he is, and knowing a few things about what the Bible says, my Dear Hubby turned to my eldest son and said,

"BE STILL, BEN. Be still and know that I am Daddy."

Ben got the hint, and Hubby and I giggled to ourselves over that one all afternoon!

As I mulled it over, I realized just how much of an irritating and know-it-all "helper" I must be to my Father! I blush to think of how much time I spend offering...suggestions. Suggestions...to the Almighty Creator of the Universe! I have to be reminded on a regular basis that He too is His own committee of one. THE One!

With that little lesson in my mind, I am going to try to spend more time just being still in Him. He's got things taken care of, and He really doesn't need my help! Not only does He not need my help, but if I'm spending my time with Him telling Him all about how I think things should be...I'll miss it! I'll miss seeing the beauty and peace in the way He does it.

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I should say that I planned to end this post here. It's cute and tidy and easy. But what follows kept nagging at the back of my brain, so I thought I'd better put it out there. It turns this post into more of a "mess", emotionally speaking...but I think it's important to think about.

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And what about the times when I can't find the beauty or peace? What about those times when I'm convinced that He's made a terrible mistake or is on vacation or something? The times when all I can see and feel is pain? Oh, c'mon, don't tell me I'm the only one who thinks that from time to time?!

I guess I'll just do my best to trust Him then too. What are my options, really? I can either believe:

1. He's not real

2. He doesn't care

3. He's not capable of keeping me from pain

4. He's real, he cares, and he's capable, but for some reason He's allowing this suffering in my life. He's still in control of the big picture, He's with me through the pain, and something good will come of my suffering.

It still hurts. It's still hard to understand. I still get angry with Him (justified or not). But I believe #4 to be the Truth (yes, that Truth with a capital "T"). And honestly, thinking that He's not real, doesn't care, or isn't capable of taking care of me...all of those options are even more scary and hurtful than #4! Yep, I'm going with #4.

How about you? Will you join me in "being still" and resting in Him? Will you trust Him in your pain? Can you trust a real, capable, and loving God who allows you to suffer? It's hard, I know. But like I said earlier, what are other choice do we have?

P.S. I'm glad that the Bible isn't silent on this. It talks about suffering here, here, here, here, here and many other places.

Be Still...

Tonight, I'm feeling a little sad. I got a phone call this evening...just full of bad news. Some of my loved ones are suffering. I always want to make people feel better in their time of suffering, but I just don't know how. "I love you" and "I'm praying for you" seem so...insufficient.

Will you all do something with me tonight? Just take a moment, close your eyes, take a deep breath, connect with the One who made you and cherishes you. Think about how He blesses you...how He expresses His love for you...and just say "Thank you". Sometimes, during times of suffering...mine and others'...there's just so little to do besides be still and know that He is God.

In my fumbling around on my computer for the past 20 minutes (in a failed effort to say something profound), I dug out that old "Lessons From Kids" file. I thought the following seemed like a good fit for how I'm feeling tonight:

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The kids and I frequently tell each other “I love you THIS much”, as we stretch our arms out at far as they will go. The kids grunt and groan as they stretch out their arms, trying in vain to make their arms span as far as mine. Of course, I have much longer arms than my 2 and 3 year olds! They look from one of my hands to the other with a look of awe and pleasure to see this tangible display of my love for them. I’ve learned an important and sweet lesson about God’s love through this exercise with my precious children.

I’m reminded how incomprehensible God’s love is for me, his beloved child. Although I can think and ponder (grunt and groan!) all day long trying to understand the love of God, I simply am unable to do so. In my present state, a mere babe, all I can do is see the blessings in my life and look to my Lord with awe and pleasure. I know he loves me tremendously. Thank you, Lord.

Just One Way: Part 2

You know, the more I think about this "buckled in God's car" analogy, the more I like it! I'm seeing more and more clearly just how God is a more patient and gracious parent than I am. Why do I say that? We'll, because God actually DOES let us kids decide which way to go! Here's what I mean:

It’s a well known fact that God has given us free will, right? We not only get to choose for ourselves if we “get in the car” or not, but we can also decide to go our own way even after we’re buckled in (bear with me here…I’m thinking as I go).

Best case scenario: we decide to get in the car, and we say “OK, Lord, you’re the boss and you know best. You just drive this car wherever and however you want to. I’m just looking forward to the drive. By the way, thanks for the ride. I really didn’t deserve it with the way I’ve been acting!” This scenario reminds me a lot of coming to Him like a child…with complete trust and openness. It also reminds me of the Lord ’s Prayer…”Thy will be done”.

But what usually happens? Usually, somewhere along the way, the ride gets a little too bumpy, slow, fast, scary, etc. You fill in the adjective! And what do we do? Instead of continuing to trust that He knows what he’s doing, we say, “OK, I’ll take it from here! You listen to me…this is the way we’re going to go.” And then we proceed to pitch a fit. Out of respect for our promised free will, God follows our roundabout instructions. We drive in circles. We get lost. We do not get closer to our destination. We make no useful progress at all. But God is still there, waiting for us to say “Well, turns out I didn’t know how to get there after all. You can drive now.” He just smiles…and drives us back on track.

Keep in mind that this driving in circles…over the same pot holes, the same speed bumps, the same dirt roads, the same flat tires and engine trouble…this can go on for years and years! And God is still there patiently loving us. He lets us experience those pot holes and speed bumps, but He’s there all the same. We’re not where he wants us to be, but He’s there all the same. He’s there the whole time, just waiting for us to hand over control of that steering wheel again.

Now THAT is patience! That is grace. That is love.

What if I actually, literally let my kids give me directions while we’re driving? What would happen? I tell them that we’re headed somewhere they want to go, say McDonald’s. They sit in the back seat and give me turn by turn directions. Wait…I need a different location. I’m pretty sure my kids could give me directions to McD’s with their eyes closed.

OK, let’s say…the park across town. They give me directions. We drive in circles for hours, and they get more and more impatient and hungry for the picnic lunch I’ve packed. They finally decide that they just want me to drive them to the park. What next?

They sit back in their seats…and relax. They have peace. They have relief that it’s not up to them anymore. They’re thankful for me and my patience and, most of all, for my ability to get them to that park. They enjoy the ride. And next time when they think about trying to take over the steering wheel, they remember how difficult and fruitless it was. Next time they think twice, and in the end they just let me do the driving.

Turns out God is patient, gracious, loving, AND wise. Sure glad I'm His kid!

Just One Way

As you know by now, I'm totally addicted to my fancy-schmancy new camera! I'm trying to bring it with me pretty much everywhere because it seems that I find photo-worthy scenes everywhere I go lately.

At stop lights, I'll pull out my camera and say, "Clara! Ben! Tell me when the light is green!" It'll give them something good to tell their therapist some day...he he he :)

When I was driving today, this sign caught my eye. Not for it's beauty, but because it reminded me of another one of those "lessons from my kids" that I read recently. So I snapped the picture. I guess now is as good a time as any to share the lesson with you...

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It seems that God teaches me many lessons while I’m driving in the car. Maybe it’s because He has a captive audience!

I was driving to the store recently with Benjamin and Clara buckled safely in the backseat. They were happily trying to sing along with “The Farmer in the Dell”, when all of a sudden, Benjamin announced, “Mommy, turn THAT way!” Clara, wanting to take a stand of her own, declared, “Mommy, turn THIS way!” while pointing her finger in the opposite direction that her brother was pointing.

I grinned and announced that I was driving the car, so I would choose which way to go. I undoubtedly turned “that” way at some point and “this” way at another. Did I choose which direction to go based on how much I loved each of my children? Did I choose based on who was asking the most persistently? Did I choose based on how well each of them had behaved that day? No – of course not! I chose which direction to drive based on where I was going!

It suddenly dawned on me that I am just a child buckled safely in the backseat of my Father’s car. He knows where we’re headed, and He knows how to get there. How many times do I ask for Him to turn a particular way that would lead me in the wrong direction? When he gently reminds me that He is driving, and He will decide which way to go, how do I react? I’m embarrassed to confess that many times I behave the same as my 2 or 3 year old when they don’t get what they want!

I’m lead to wonder…why pray at all? Why ask God to turn a certain way or heal a certain person or clear the rainy skies…why ask if He will just do as He pleases anyway?

Well, I don’t presume to know the mind of God. But I do know that as a parent, I long desperately for my children to communicate with me. Many times they’re telling me something completely silly…but it’s important and real to them, so I want to hear all about it! Many times they’re requesting something that would be downright harmful to them (candy for each meal, for example), but I still want to hear about it.

One of the most significant reasons they’re important to me is because these moments are perfect “teachable moments”. Why no candy for breakfast, they wonder? "Well, because I want you to be healthy and strong and to feel well today."

But the bottom line is this: I love my children. I strap them in safely, I give them a snack to much on, I drive carefully, we talk, we sing...we just enjoy each other's company. Sometimes they pitch a fit over wanting more food or a different song or because they want me to turn left instead of right. Do I kick them out of the car? Of course not. In those instances I'm just thankful they're buckled in tight...I drive the car in silence...and look forward to finally getting us all home.


Edited To Say: See HERE for Part Two of "Just One Way"

He Made Me Like This on Purpose?!

I was just cleaning up some files on my computer, and came across a document titled "Lessons From Kids". I opened it up, and couldn't believe that I'd forgotten about that file! It was filled with all sorts of sweet stories from when my older kids were smaller, and it brought back such great memories. It turns out that it was perfect for me to find tonight, because I've been feeling so...discontent...so mediocre.

Part of my problem is that I've been reading lots of blogs lately. Instead of feeling inspired or encouraged or energized, I feel - I don't know - less than "them" somehow. Less artsy. Less of a good mom. Less of a good friend. Less of a good Christian (whatever that means, anyway). Just less.

But after reading through that file I mentioned above, I'm suddenly feeling much better. One of the "lessons" I wrote about way back when was just what I needed to be reminded of tonight. I decided to share it with you just in case you could use the reminder too. Here it is:

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My little baby boy is almost 4 years old. He has stayed home with me since the day he was born, but is spending more and more time away from home and with his little buddies and at preschool lately. He's blossomed into a considerate, social little man and I am so very proud of him. But he's developed one behavior that bothers me terribly: he started laughing with a goofy, fake laugh that he describes as “really cool”. I don’t know who he learned it from, but I don’t like it.

It struck me one day that it’s really just an innocent thing, so why does it bother me so much when he does it? I spent some time thinking about it, and I finally realize that it bothers me because it simply isn’t Ben’s laugh. I miss his genuine giggle. I cringe every time I hear that fake laugh…it just isn’t him.

I wonder how often our Father cringes to see us behaving in a way that he knows is just not us? We may think it makes us look intelligent, grown up…”really cool”, but the Lord knows us better than anyone. He knows when we are being genuine and when we’re faking it or trying to be like someone we're not. I wonder if he feels as disappointed as I do when I’m missing Benjamin’s real laugh?

Instead of living my life to be what I think other people might like or expect…instead of living my life to be even what I might like or expect…I want to live my life in a way that does honor to the person my Father made me to be. At the end of the day I just want to be His kid. I know He loves me just as I am. In fact, He made me like this on purpose and He'd miss the real me if I were anything else.