He Gets an A+ In "Mommy Guilt 101"

Oh, my sweet boy has my heart all a jumble of pride and sadness and guilt tonight. Let me explain...

Hubby is out of town on business. I hate it when he has to be away. The kids hate it. And Hubby hates it. But hey, it's a job with relatively good security, benefits, and flexibility. I'm thankful, I really am.

But have I said this yet?...I hate it when he has to travel.

I miss my best friend. I miss under the covers toe warmer. I miss my kid's Daddy. Everything is less fun and more work without him. All of that and cold toes to boot. (sigh)

So why the pity party? Because I'm leading up to something here...

Ben has been such a joy the past couple of days. He's just been helpful and cheerful and sweet. He's my kid who, when he thinks I might be feeling sad, tells me silly jokes. After a few jokes, he'll say, "Are you feeling happy now, Mommy?"

Well, tonight as I was tucking the kids into bed Ben said, "Oh, I miss Daddy."
"Me too, buddy."
"Have you noticed Mommy? I've been trying to be really good while he's away."
"You have been extra nice haven't you?"
"Yeah! And sometimes when you ask me to do yucky stuff that I'd normally say 'no' to...lately, I've just been doing it!"
"Oh? Like what do you mean?"
"You know, Mommy...like throwing away that gross diaper when you asked me to."
"Oh, okay."
"I've been trying really hard to make it easy for you while Daddy's away. I'm the man of the house when he's not here, you know."
"I know, sweetie. And you've done a great job. You've been taking really great care of us."
"Yeah....(big sigh, as if the weight of the world is getting a bit heavy)...I sure miss Daddy."

Oh, my little man! I feel so proud of him for trying to step up and help when Daddy's gone. But is he too burdened? Have I done or said something that makes him feel responsible for my feelings? I'm the parent here...I'm the one who's supposed to make it easier on him!

I think I've said this, oh, about 94 times before...I sure hope I'm not screwing these kids up for good!

Memory Lane: Our Wedding Day

August 23, 1997 was our wedding day. Eleven years and four babies later I'm still happy to be married to this man. I'm a lucky girl.

The day before our wedding, we did the rehearsal dinner at a lakeside supper club in Wisconsin. (We live in Idaho, but married in Wisconsin so we could have as much extended family there as possible). Here we are in all our cheesy glory outside the supper club before we ate dinner...supper...whatever they call it in the Midwest! Aren't we so sweet you could just gag?!



With my hubby involved, things never stay serious for long though. This is more our style. He better marry me soon or people are gonna start talkin'!



Our wedding day was perfect. It was hot and humid and stressful and busy...but perfect. I loved our wedding. It was so beautiful and emotional. Everyone we loved was there to celebrate with us, and it felt so *right* to be standing before God and promising to be true to the amazing man He'd given me.

I grew up Catholic...sometimes I love the ceremony that goes with the Catholic church. We're not Catholic anymore, and I miss some of the tradition and ritual. Our wedding in this beautiful Catholic church with tall stained glass windows was so precious to me.



Here we are Mr. and Mrs. Dear Hubby! One of my happiest moments ever :)



Here's us coming out of the church after we finally got my dress all bustled up. Man, that dress was heavy...but so beautiful! The little guy holding the door for us was our ring bearer. He's about 6'6" now!



The ceremony was over, but it wasn't quite time to go to the club for the reception, so we went to my folks' house to start celebrating. Our families...they know how to party!




Wasn't our cake beautiful? Maybe you can't see it very well in the picture. Believe me, it was beautiful (and yummy!).


If you're reading this, my amazing man...I love you! I'm so happy, blessed, thankful, joyful, and proud to be Mrs. YOU! :) Happy Anniversary.

Hubby, I Worked Up The Courage...

I just have to share something that's been making me giggle all morning. When I told hubby that I was trying to work up the courage to tell you all about it, he just said, "Yeah, good luck with that!" He knows that this isn't typically the kind of info I'd share.

Are there any male readers out there? If so, you might want to click away this morning. This is decidedly a "girl stuff" type of post. Sorry...I'll try to put up some very manly photos of babies and flowers for you later ;)

Hubby and I have a date with our two oldest kids tomorrow. We're taking them to the water park, and it's something we've been eagerly anticipating for weeks. We have Grandma coming over to watch the little ones so it can be just the big kids and us. We want to do all the big rides with them, and just focus on our school kids before shipping them off for the school year. Sounds great, right?

Well, wouldn't you know...ahem...my, uh, "monthly visitor" made an appearance this past weekend. (I warned you, guys) It's stressing me out, because going to the water park in this state isn't really at the top of my "fun and leisurely things to do" list. I mentioned to hubby that maybe we could push our big day out a couple of days?? We decided to just wait and see.

I guess it's been on his mind, because last night before bed, hubby came up to me and said,

"Well, I sure hope things go alright...with you...and your girly parts...so we can go to the water park on Tuesday."

Good grief. My "girly parts"?!?! I almost wet my pants laughing so hard!

"Hey, don't ever call me insensitive" was his response to my hysterics and snorts and tears.

Not a chance, my sensitive man. Not a chance.

The Importance Of A Girl's Daddy

My hubby took Clara to our church's Father Daughter dinner last Friday. We got her all spiffed up in a pretty dress. She looked forward to her special Daddy date for days!

She was especially proud of the pretty twist we put in her hair:



My girls love each other so much...something I'm very thankful for. They call each other "sissy", and are always looking out for one another (when they're not bickering, that is :) ).


Hubby surprised Clara with a wrist corsage. She'd never seen one before, and has no idea what he's doing in this picture:

Now she's starting to understand:)

I loved the look on her face as he put the flower on her wrist for her. She felt so precious and spoiled...just as every little girl should feel from time to time.


I always hoped that he would make a good Daddy, but I had no idea just how incredible he would be. They had a wonderful date, and Clara felt like a princess for the night.


Daddy's are so important in a little girl's life. There is so much that she learns from him...

Daddy is the first man to love her unconditionally.
Daddy is the first man to make her feel safe.
Daddy is the first man to make her feel cherished.
Daddy is the first man to tell her that she is beautiful.
Daddy is the one who will show her how a wife is to be loved.
Daddy is the one to whom she will compare all other men in her life.
Daddy is the disciplinarian who must be firm and loving at the same time.
Daddy's love can make her feel powerful and special. A lack of Daddy's love can make her feel helpless and without worth.
Daddy is who she will think of when she first hears God referred to as "Father".


I am so thankful that my daughters have such an incredible Daddy!


P.S. To my own Daddy...being born as your girl is one of my life's greatest blessings. I love you!