God Is An Artist, Part 5

Well, I have to start with some of the most amazing works of art ever to grace my blessed life...my babies. This is Ben and Clara before school one day this past week. I finished Clara's hair for her, she looked at herself in the mirror with a smile and said, "I think you'd better take a picture this morning...Ben and I look beautiful!"

I had to agree :)



I was picking raspberries in my garden yesterday, when I found this little guy sitting quietly on a zucchini leaf:



It was interesting to take his picture because the light kept changing, one second we were under cloud cover, the next full sun...then the breeze would blow and we'd have shade from the raspberries as they swayed. Sorry for the grainy pictures. I save them as pretty small files to use up less space here, but resolution suffered this time.



Look at that eye! And you can even see his nostrils if you look closely...



Sammy helped me water the flowers out front yesterday. She started spraying everything she could see, which irritated me a bit...since I was one of the things she could see. But then I saw what she'd done to this beautiful rose, and I ran off to get my camera. "What da matter, Mama?!", she said as I ran away :)



Have I mentioned how much I love my camera lately? And my 28-300 mm lens just gives me such amazing flexibility!


Look closely at the details around you today. I guarantee that you'll find some of God's handiwork too :)

He Gets an A+ In "Mommy Guilt 101"

Oh, my sweet boy has my heart all a jumble of pride and sadness and guilt tonight. Let me explain...

Hubby is out of town on business. I hate it when he has to be away. The kids hate it. And Hubby hates it. But hey, it's a job with relatively good security, benefits, and flexibility. I'm thankful, I really am.

But have I said this yet?...I hate it when he has to travel.

I miss my best friend. I miss under the covers toe warmer. I miss my kid's Daddy. Everything is less fun and more work without him. All of that and cold toes to boot. (sigh)

So why the pity party? Because I'm leading up to something here...

Ben has been such a joy the past couple of days. He's just been helpful and cheerful and sweet. He's my kid who, when he thinks I might be feeling sad, tells me silly jokes. After a few jokes, he'll say, "Are you feeling happy now, Mommy?"

Well, tonight as I was tucking the kids into bed Ben said, "Oh, I miss Daddy."
"Me too, buddy."
"Have you noticed Mommy? I've been trying to be really good while he's away."
"You have been extra nice haven't you?"
"Yeah! And sometimes when you ask me to do yucky stuff that I'd normally say 'no' to...lately, I've just been doing it!"
"Oh? Like what do you mean?"
"You know, Mommy...like throwing away that gross diaper when you asked me to."
"Oh, okay."
"I've been trying really hard to make it easy for you while Daddy's away. I'm the man of the house when he's not here, you know."
"I know, sweetie. And you've done a great job. You've been taking really great care of us."
"Yeah....(big sigh, as if the weight of the world is getting a bit heavy)...I sure miss Daddy."

Oh, my little man! I feel so proud of him for trying to step up and help when Daddy's gone. But is he too burdened? Have I done or said something that makes him feel responsible for my feelings? I'm the parent here...I'm the one who's supposed to make it easier on him!

I think I've said this, oh, about 94 times before...I sure hope I'm not screwing these kids up for good!

Missing My Boy

This is Ben's first full day of school without my participation. I haven't seen the little guy since 8 this morning. I miss him.

There Goes My Heart...

...Driving down the road in a big yellow school bus! Today was the first day of school for my "big kids". It was a flurry of excitement and nerves and joy and a bit of fear. But it was good.

We had a wonderful time getting all gussied up for the big day. Clara with her new haircut, and Ben with his beloved new "tie shoes" :) Here, I'll let you look at some pictures while I go wipe my eyes and blow my nose...




Headed out to wait for the bus, which (thankfully) stops right in front our our house.


Here are the kindergartners. Did I mention that when I brought Clara in for her checkup last week the doctor estimated her at 120% in height and weight? She's a beauty...


I'm so very thankful that my kids have such wonderful friends. It gives me amazing peace to know that they're not alone out there in the big world. Without me. Their Mommy. The one who gave birth to them and has cared for them every day of their little lives. Who loves them more than anyone else in the world does, has, or ever will.



Oh! The bus is here! I meant to get a shot of Ben getting on too, but he was too quick for me. Look at my baby girl on that big bus!



My little ones were pretty interested in all the hustle and bustle of getting ready for the bus. And when it actually pulled up in all it's loud, diesel spewing glory and they watched their big brother and sister climb on? Well, it must have been a sight to behold for them!

Don't get any ideas, little ones. You're stuck with me for a while longer. Maybe I'll even home-school you. Or...not.



Yes, I am that mommy. That mommy who actually climbed ON the bus with the kids so I could get pictures. I figure I'd better do it now before the kids are too embarrassed by me. They're still hugging and kissing me in public...I'm hoping it lasts through this school year at least.

But the little love note I snuck in Ben's lunch box along with a surprise cookie? Hubby tells me that'll probably get my little Ben a beating from his buddies. I hope not...

(By the way, this is Ben waving...not him flipping me the bird!)

After we got them on the bus, we piled in the car and hustled on over to the school so we could be there to help them find their classes and get settled in. Here they are coming off the bus at school:

We got them all settled into their classrooms (Ben actually has a desk...a DESK!), and then we were off. Ben wanted me to stay for the whole day (awww, he loves me), but I knew I had to leave so he could spread his wings a little bit.

That, and the teacher was dragging me out of the classroom while I screamed "BEENNNN! I LOOOVE YOU! BE STRONG FOR MOMMY! BE A BIG BOY! I'LL MIIISSS YOU!"

Not really, but wouldn't that be funny? In sort of a sick, overbearing, my mom is a lunatic kind of way?

Oh boy, I sure hope I don't mess my kids up for good.


And here's my little Clara in her class. Oh, that girl. She's spunky and feisty and wild and she drives me absolutely nuts. But boy oh boy, do I ever love her.



So here I am...suddenly down to two kiddos at home with me (for half the day anyway). Hubby mentioned that maybe we should find a part time pre-preschool for little Sammy so she's not so bored without her sister and brother. Not a chance though. I'm not giving away this time with her for nothin'!

If there's one thing I've learned, it's that their pre-school years go by too quickly as it is. Before I know it, we'll be doing college graduations and weddings. But that won't be so bad, since then it will be time for them to move into that nice house across the street from us.

Right?...

So Much To Do, So Little Summer...

We're doing our best around here to soak up as much summer as we can in these last few days. School starts on Monday (sniff!). There's a lot to do yet! Like swing games to play...



Little girl secrets to tell...



Bars to monkey around on...



And new tricks to learn...



And I suppose I shouldn't forget: frogs to scare so badly that they pee all over the place...


He probably saw my Clara coming at him with this big stick. If I saw a giant Clara approaching with a big stick, I'd probably pee too! Here he is, checking out his "gift" (much to Clara's delighted squeals)...

He seems to approve. Mostly though, I'll bet he's trying to figure out if he can somehow hide under the stick. (Note: No frogs were harmed during the production of this summertime event. He was deposited safely in the long grass by the shed where 2 year olds with sticks and bored dogs could not find him.)


There's stuff to do inside too. Like play video games (I console myself with the fact that he at least has to be standing and moving to play this one)...



And eat snacks while charming Mama with a killer dimpled smile...


And when Mama pokes her head out from behind the camera and shouts "BOO!", there is lots of tray banging, giggling, and kicking of legs to do...


I thought I'd better grab this shot of summertime grass with a bit of morning dew on it...something to stare at when all that's outside is dead grass, brown trees, and snow (don't worry, I'm sure I'll still find great stuff to take photos of).

Awww, summer...sweet summer. Must you go so soon?

The Heart Of A Man

My heart just about burst with pride this evening as I saw my oldest son grow right before my eyes.

It started as I was getting the kids to bed. Clara and Benjamin came walking up to me, each holding one end of something long and black. Clara said, "Look what we found in the play room Mommy. It's yours!"

It was the chest strap to my heart rate monitor.

"Hey! That IS mine! How did it end up in the play room? That's not okay!"

I looked back and forth between their two faces. Their pride in presenting me with something they knew belonged to me had vanished and was replaced with a fear of getting in trouble.

"Not me!", they said in unison.

"Well, I certainly didn't put it up there. One of you must have. Who? I expect honesty."

"Samantha must have done it", suggested Benjamin.

"No. I keep it on top of my dresser, and Sammy can't reach up there."

"Now who?"

Silence.

"Okay, well, no allowance for either of you until I get honesty from whoever took it."

The evening went on. Teeth...brushed. Jammies...on. Room...straightened. Faces...washed. Books...chosen.

I ran downstairs to grab something, and on my way back up, Benjamin met me in the middle.

"Mommy? You know that black strap thing? I took it from your room. I'm sorry. I didn't know that it was so important to you."

I could see the fear in his eyes, but also the relief of having told the truth.

"Oh, Benjamin. I do wish you hadn't taken something that wasn't yours, but I am very proud of you for telling me the truth. I forgive you, Sweetie."

Big hugs. I could feel his heart pounding.

"Were you a little afraid to tell me the truth?"

I was expecting a simple "Yeah", but out gushed: "YES. I was. It was so confusing. My heart (pointing to his chest) was telling me to be honest, but my head (pointing to his right temple) was telling me 'Trouble!' I just didn't know what to do!"

Oh, did I have to fight back the tears to respond to him! I was almost choking on my tears of pride.

"Yeah, it can be confusing. I know how that feels, I've felt that way before too. It's a yucky feeling, huh? Do you feel better now that you told me the truth?"

"Yeah."

"Try to remember how yucky it felt to lie to me the next time you're confused, okay? Maybe it will help you to remember that it's always best to tell the truth."

"Okay."

"Do you know what you did tonight, Benjamin? Do you know what you did when you were brave and told me the truth? When you did the right thing even though it might have gotten you in big trouble?"

"What?"

"You did what a man does. This shows me that you're growing into a very good man, and I'm so proud of you."

(A quiet nod from Ben)

"And do you know what else it shows me?"

"What?"

"It shows me that Jesus is talking to you, and that you're listening. It's not always easy to do, but it's so very important. He loves you very much, and He will never lead you down the wrong path."


"Yeah! I hear him talking to me in a little voice all the time!"

Oh my...now I was REALLY fighting the tears and was covered in goose-bumps.

"Well, I'm pretty sure that Jesus is proud of you tonight too."

"Yeah", with a proud smile and a big hug.

*******************************************************

Oh Lord, thank you. Thank you for this little boy who is already showing the heart of a man. Not any man. Your man. Thank you for saving him, and for being so near to him each day. I pray you'll continue to guide his steps. And keep his ears open, Lord. Keep them open so that he can always hear your voice. I pray you'll protect his future. Do great things with this boy, Lord. He loves you so much already. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you!

Only 6 Years Old, And Already Moving Out & Getting Married

My heart is on the verge of breaking right in two.

Just yesterday, my firstborn son was a nursing babe of 7 months old. He was smiling a toothy grin. He was giggling. He was scooting along the floor, and chasing down cheerios on his high chair tray.

And in just one more month, he's gone. At least it feels like it. He'll be starting first grade...he'll be spending more time with his friends and teachers than he will at home with me. His Mama.

It's just a short leap of 11 years until he's gone. A young man. Leaving my house, never to live under my roof again.

How long 'till he stops calling me "Mommy", I wonder?

Just yesterday, the neighbor kids were over at our house playing. One of them said, "I can't wait for next month! School starts! First grade...we'll be in school ALL DAY!!"

I about dropped to the floor in shock and horror! The look on Ben's face told me that he wasn't all that excited either..."But I'm gonna miss you, Mommy", he said in a sad voice.

We went shopping for lunch boxes the other night. He burst into tears at the frustration and stress of having to choose between a hard plastic, or an insulated soft box? Hulk or Spidey? Batman or Panda?

It might have been frustration. It might have been that he was tired. Or maybe he was still thinking "I'm going to miss you, Mommy". I almost cried too because all I could think about was the fact that he won't come bounding off the bus at lunch time. So we sat on the floor at Walmart, and looked at each other over a pile of lunchboxes with tears in our eyes.

What can I do? What can I do to make sure he has peace and joy and fulfillment in life? True love? A passion for following the Lord in all he does? I want my little boy to be my sweet little Ben forever. But he's growing up so fast! He's tall. He's handsome. He's considerate and good. I love him with all I am.

Oh, Lord. Watch over my Benjamin. And while you're at it, would you try to patch up my proud, yet tattered, heart?

Desperation. And Clean Baseboards.

"Mawwwm, I'm boooored! Can I go see if Johnny can play?"
"No, it's time to play at home now. I'd like to to play with your sisters for a bit."
"Why can't I see if Johnny can play?"
"Because I want you to include your sisters."
"But why can't I go to Johnny's?"
"Benjamin, you can choose: play with your sisters, or scrub the baseboards for me."
"Arg!"

Talk about a win-win. About 5 minutes after giving him his ultimatum, Ben came up with a game that involved his sisters AND cleaning the baseboards. I now have 3 busy, happy kids...and the cleanest baseboards in the west! Gotta love that :)

Family Resemblance

Hubby and I were chatting the other day, when he said something like "It just goes so fast! I can hardly remember Sammy at Thomas' age."

It was then that I was so happy that I've been such a "picture Nazi" all these years! I have an album for each year that we've been married. Photos are in rough chronological order, and the outside of the album is labeled with the year. I know it's hard to imagine someone so crazed with photo-organization. It drives even me nuts sometimes.

This a good place for a disclaimer...since getting my DSLR, my photo organization has gone totally to the birds. I've been busy taking so dang MANY pictures, I'm just overwhelmed with the idea of sorting and printing and organizing. So they're on my computer. It gives me nightmares sometimes, and I'm not kidding. I know, I need help.

Anyway, I went to the shelf and pulled down the album for 2006 - the year that Sammy was 8 months old. Wow. What a year...for so many good and terrible reasons! I'll stick to telling you about the good for now.

It was so fun to look at my sweet Sammy's first year! Someone once told me that, "With kids the days are long, and the years are short." I couldn't say it better than that!

I pulled down a couple more albums, and scanned in pictures of Ben and Clara too. Just look at how they all resemble one another! These are my kids at 8 months old...every sweet, spunky, drooly, toothy, chubby, smiley one of them! Man I love these children. I just can't believe that God entrusted little ol' me with such precious gifts!

Clockwise from upper left: Benjamin, Clara, Thomas, Samantha

P.S. I'm sure enjoying your input on The Hair Decision Of 2008! I made an appointment for Wednesday...I hope I don't lose my nerve!

Our Little Graduate

Well, our eldest child has graduated...from kindergarten.

At first, it might not seem like a very big deal to you. It didn't to me. I figured I'd go, listen to a few cute songs, watch him get his special paper, have a quick snack, and head home. That's not exactly what happened.

It went more like: go, watch my baby walk in the room with a proud and grown-up look on his face, listen to a few songs that are specifically designed to rip a mommy's heart out of her chest and leave her gasping for breath, wipe some tears, watch him get his special paper, realize that he'll be in school ALL DAY next year, watch his tiny little life flash before my eyes, realize just how quickly time is passing, realize that he's 6 years old...a full THIRD of his way to 18 and out of my house, have a quick snack, head home, have a good cry.

How can my mama heart both swell with pride, love, and joy...and break all in the same day?

Here are some pictures from Benjamin's big day:

(I see you, baby boy)

(Ben with is teacher)

Tee-Ball Grand Finale

Well, Ben's tee-ball season is over. Here are some shots of his last game and awards ceremony. I'm so proud of my little man!

Here's Ben grabbing a grounder. He's become quite the little fielder. He grabs that ball, and actually throws a pretty straight shot to first base. The little girl at first needed to pay attention or else catch a ball in the head!





I had to include this shot, because it highlights one of the things about tee-ball that most alarmed and surprised me: when that ball is hit, every kid in the field goes running for it. And no, they do not allow the first kid who gets to it to grab it and try to make the play. The tackle each other for it! The wrestle and fight for that ball! There are still a few nuances to the game for them to learn...



Here's our little ball player:



Getting ready for his turn at bat:




Look at that look of determination and focus. Wait...are his eyes even open??



I guess so! What a little stud.



I thought this was precious. It was particularly windy and cold that night. Here's my hubby with a protective arm around my boy. I always thought he'd make a good daddy, but I really had no idea...


Oh! I've been caught staring! My men...be still my little heart!

After the game, everyone headed to a local Dairy Queen for treats and awards. My girls were sure enjoying their cones. Clara got a little too enthusiastic though, and stuck her finger right through the cone. Better eat fast now, Clara!

I'm quite certain that Sammy ended up with more ice cream on her chin and down the front of her shirt than she did in her belly.


Now, for those of you who know my Benjamin and his passion for ice cream, you know that this following picture is evidence of a rare miracle. When Benjamin saw his coach stand up and realized that there were actual trophies being handed out...he put his ice cream down...and was just chompin' at the bit to get his little mitts on his prize!


Okay...got the trophy...back to the ice cream!


Here's Benjamin and yours truly. This is one of those pictures of me that I look at and say, "Is that what I look like? Is that what people see when they look at me? I need more makeup...or sleep...or something!"



I'm so proud of him! Now just to figure out a way to get him to sleep and eat and bathe with that trophy in his hand...because I don't think he's putting it down any time soon!

A Little Slice Of Life At Our House

A Little Cousin Love

Okay, I just realized how wrong that title sounds...but I'm going to leave it because it keeps making me giggle. Some days you just have to put up with me!

We had some fun company visiting us recently...meet my kids' cousin, Sydney. Isn't she beautiful?! Look that those big blue eyes. And yes, those curls are her natural curls. I should add that I'm a bit embarrassed that I'm envious of a 2 year old's hair!



Here she is again in all her cutie-pie glory. Wouldn't you just love to pinch those cheeks?!



Here's Sydney's mom reading a Dora book to the girls. Sammy is pretty pleased with herself :)



You can see now where little Sydney gets her beautiful curls...



Here are my girls with their beloved cousin. How cute, eh? I have a question though...what makes cheeks red? My kids have the rosiest cheeks I've ever seen. Seriously...anyone know what causes this?




And then this handsome fellow happened by, so we dragged him into the picture too. My oh my. I don't know if it's because he looks like his daddy, or because he's my first born...but that young man steals my heart at least 57 times per day!


I have some more fun cousin pictures to share...stay tuned!

We Pulled That Tooth Right Out!

Benjamin had been wiggling a loose tooth for days...but it seemed like mere decades. It was bothering him, and it was grossing me out. So...we yanked it out! I'm so thankful that we thought to get it on film. I just love the look on his face when he sees his tooth hanging on that piece of string!

We Just Couldn't Keep Our Feet Still

I just realized that it's been since last THURSDAY that I posted any pictures of my kiddos! Gasp! I'm surprised the grandparents are still talking to me.

To make up for it, I have some fun ones for you. This post is inspired by my bloggie friend, Angie. She has some dance machines living in her house too. Her recent post made me realize that I had some of my own dance pictures from just this past Friday!

By the way, if you're looking for a fun kid's movie with some good boogie music, checkout "Shark Tale". We really enjoyed it :) I should also mention that I can't take credit for these pictures. Hubby took them while I slept in. And who says romance is dead? He proves his love for me every Saturday morning.

I'm pretty sure Clara's destined to be a choreographer. And check out Sammy bustin' a move :)

Go Ben, Go Ben, Go Ben! He's informed us that with moves like his, he's pretty sure he's going to be a movie star some day. Whatever you say, white boy...whatever you say!

I Promised The Grandparents

I got scolded recently for not having more kids' pictures and videos. And here I thought you all were tired of seeing my amazing kiddos! Well, if you insist...

I realized that I haven't shared any of our traveling photos. Remember, we went to Wisconsin a couple of weeks ago? It was such a nice little getaway from every day life. The travel was an... adventure... though. I wrote all about it. In case you didn't read about it (or you blocked it out of your memory like me), you can read about it HERE and HERE and my personal favorite, HERE.

Alright, here's the low-down on our trip:

We looked out the window, and Ben exclaimed "On TOP of the clouds?! It's like we're in Heaven!"

Well, my son...it's actually United Airlines. If you think this is Heaven...boy oh boy, are you in for a treat when you see the real thing!

But I can sorta see his point. It was really beautiful.

I didn't know about it until this past trip, but the dreaded Chicago airport actually has a nice little play area for kids...which is nice of them since you'll probably be there for oh, roughly eternity plus a day.

I love this picture. This is a great shot of Ben and Clara's backs...but look...look how they're standing exactly the same!

Here's Sammy at the play center. Notice the bright orange top we have her in? It's bright for a reason...so that we can keep an eye on her busy little body. She's two ya know.

I mean, really. Does it get any cuter than this?

Oh, my little man. Isn't he handsome?

We *Finally* made it to Wisconsin! One of the first days we were there, we went to my sister's newly remodeled home for a good old fashioned brat fry (bratwurst). Here you see my grandma on the right, sister in the middle, and then Tony and Samantha on the left. Tony is Megan's hubby...a great guy, who can, by the way, bowl a perfect game (or 6!)

See how we're all sorta sitting around looking at each other over our empty plates? You do that after a brat fry. You sorta sit there in a "my belly's gonna burst" type coma. There's nothing like a brat fry :)

Here's Uncle Tony reading to my little Samantha Ruth.

And here's my Grandma Ruth. She's my mom's mom, and will be turning 90 years old in a couple of months. I love this spunky little chick-a-dee :)

One of the highlights of the trip for me was seeing my Grandma with Thomas for the first time. My Grandma had 6 kids of her own (my Mom is her baby).

"Lemme look at ya!"

"Look at those toes!"

One day we drove into Sheboygan (that word makes my friend, Becky, giggle hysterically) to go to THIS indoor water park. What a blast! Thomas got to wear swim trunks for the very first time....he loved the water.

Hey Becky...SHEBOYGAN!

SHEBOYGAN, SHEBOYGAN, SHEBOYGAN!!!

Here's Thomas playing with Papa (my Dad)

Me with Grandma and Thomas

My little Clara is such a snuggler. She soaks it up with Great Grandma....

And Yaya (my Mom)

Thomas needed a quick bath while we were there, and instead of filling up the big tub, I just washed him up in the kitchen sink. He enjoyed it :)

"Hey look! A finger! Must...try...to...chew..."

Before we knew it, it was time to head back home again. Here are Ben and Clara in the Minneapolis airport.