Jesus, Did You Know?

Re-Published from 2009

Our local Christian radio station plays nothing but Christmas music for the entire month of December. I've been enjoying that song that goes something like "Mary, did you know". Do you know which song I'm talking about? It's the one that wonders if Mary fully knew and understood the magnitude of her situation...the mysterious miracle of her physically giving birth to the savior of the world. Impossible to imagine, really.


But the thought I've been pondering goes more like "Jesus, did you know?". Matthew says that Jesus would be called Immanuel which translated means "God with us". God with us. In diapers. In flesh. GOD in a mere human's body.

My question is this: did Jesus always know who he was?

It's clear that there was something different about him at a young age. I recall the time when he stayed behind in the temple to teach. His mom and dad found him there and he said something like "didn't you know I'd be in my Father's house?". It seems that he had at least an inkling (if not more) of who he was at that time...a good 15 or so years before he would start his "ministry".

But what about his first moments in the womb? What about his first moments on earth? Did he lie swaddled in clothes in those first moments of breathing with human lungs...smelling the aroma of animals shuffling around in the straw....smelling and feeling the warm skin of his mother....maybe seeing that amazing star which blazed with the news of his arrival even with those fuzzy newborn eyes...stretching his arms and legs to their full but still tiny length...

...during all of this, did he know why he was there? Did he think of ME? Did his heart swell with his love for me and did he cringe a little (or a lot) to know what he would endure to save me once and for all?

Jesus, did you know?

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God's Law

I've been so consumed with my new business lately, I've been neglecting my first love!  I sat down at the table this morning with my coffee and my Bible, and opened to Romans.  I haven't read Romans in ages.  I went to a women's study on Romans a few years ago - we literally spent a year and a half poring over and dissecting the book, and I guess I wasn't in the mood to read it again for a while :-)  I'd forgotten how beautiful and refreshing Romans is.

As I read chapter 3, I was brought back in time to a rather...ahem...lively debate I had with my study leader about 6 years ago.  I was still searching, and hadn't really come to a genuine place of humility and submission to God.  Oh boy.  I'm so thankful for His mercy and grace!  Now that I know Him the way I do, it seems positively absurd that I ever stood upright in His holy presence!

To put it mildly, I had issues with His law.  My teacher tried to explain that the law is perfect because it's an expression of a perfect God.  I barely heard her because all I could think was,

"This stupid law!  It can't be right!  How can God really expect all of this of me?!  If He didn't judge me against this ridiculous law, I'd be just fine.  I'm a good person and I do my best.  Sure, by Biblical standards I'm a sinner.  But why would a loving God make a law so impossible to follow?  Even if I want to do it perfectly, I can't.  Surely my heartfelt efforts will tip the scales in my favor?  In fact...you know what?....God is expecting something unreasonable of me.  He defines the word "sinner" by these standards - HE'S being unreasonable.  It's HIS fault that I can't measure up because He set the bar impossibly high!"

To some people reading this, they're probably thinking something like "wow - lucky He didn't strike you dead!"  This post will probably bore you.

For many others though, they're probably thinking something like "yeah, that's exactly how I feel!" Believe me, I get how you feel.

But now, I also understand what my teacher was trying to tell me all those years ago.

The first step to understanding why the law is so impossible, is to ignore for a moment it's impact on me and my life.  If I do that, I can think a little more clearly because I'm not taking it personally.

It's sort of like observing the sun.  If I look at it and think to myself, "It's too bright, I can't look at it!  It's too hot, I can hardly stand the heat at noon!  And look, it burns me if I stay in it's light too long.  That stupid sun!"

But if I remove myself from the equation and simply observe, my thoughts go more like "Wow, that sun is bright.  And hot.  And so powerful!"  Do you see the difference?

So let's do that with God's law.  Ignore for a moment what it means to you and your life and simply observe.

God's law is perfect.
God's law is consuming.
God's law is impossible.
God's law is overwhelming.

Okay, now let's put some thought into the "whys" of the thing we're observing.  Back to the sun example - the sun is bright and hot and powerful because it's a star.  It's literally a big ball of fire.  And it's a good thing it is the way it is because it is exactly what our planet needs to sustain life.

Now for the law - the law is perfect and consuming and impossible and overwhelming because it is an expression of who God is.  God is perfect, consuming, impossible (for us to understand), and overwhelming.  By observing this thing that God gave us, we can know more about God.

Alright, NOW it's time to put ourselves back into the equation.  Back to the sun again - the sun is bright and hot and powerful - what does that mean to us?  Well, it means that we wear sunscreen.  It means that we take shelter when it's at it's hottest.  It also means that we wouldn't want to change it even if we could because it gives us life!

Now for God's law.  God's law sheds light on who God is, and in turn, it sheds light on who we are compared to Him.  I like to think of it as a sort of heavenly ruler...it's a tool that we can use to compare ourselves to God - to better understand who we are and who God is.  Changing the law would do nothing to change who God is....it would simply diminish the effectiveness of this tool as it's used in our lives.

Changing the law to make life easier for us would only make it harder for us to know God.

It just so happens that when we compare ourselves to God using this "ruler of law", we find that there's no way for us to "measure up".  It also just so happens that the shortcoming we observe when we measure our lives and hearts against God's law...that shortcoming is called "sin".

"for through the Law comes the knowledge of sin." Romans 3:20b

We find ourselves in this place of, "okay, what do I do now?"

NOW we're talking!  NOW we find that this is the place that God has been lovingly guiding us to all along!

Does God want us to feel terrible about ourselves?  Well, yes...but only for the briefest of moments.  In fact, it's not that He wants us to feel lousy, it more like He wants us to realize that we need His help.  In our moment of despair and hopelessness, we have the option to grab His hand so he can be our Lord and God.  And now, now that we see better who He is and who we are, we can have a real and honest relationship with Him.

Back to the Law - do we just ignore it if it's impossible to follow? It all depends on your heart toward God.  If you're trying your very best to live according to the law because you still think you can do it and you think you can impress God or earn your way into His favor...then yes, you might as well ignore the Law all together.

But if you are pursuing a righteous life because you love a righteous God and are living for His pleasure and so that He can do His work through you....then your efforts are based in Truth.  Your efforts, although they still come from a sinful human, will bear real and lasting fruit because God Himself will move through your humble heart and actions.

It's God working through us that gives us incredible freedom in Christ.  It's God working through us that gives us impossible joy.  It's God working through us that gives us hope and meaning to this mortal life.

I pray that this next year, you (you know who you are!) will see the law not only as something that makes you feel lousy about yourself or that makes you feel discouraged...but as a glimpse of a real and living God.  A God who loves you.  Sit for a moment in the realization that God is perfect and you are not, and then turn to Him and say "Help!".  He will help you.  He will save you.  He will give you hope and joy.


PS.  If you decide that you want to grab God's hand, but don't know how, contact me and I'll help you

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My Ben is 9!!!

My Benjamin is 9 years old.  Unbelievable.  It seems like it was just yesterday that I was seeing his little face for the first time, and now he's HALF way to moving out on his own!  

Let me just go back to Ben's first day for a moment....{sigh}

We're just a Billy-Bob teeth kind of family...

And now, here he is with his 'buddies'.  Not his friends.  We're not playing anymore.  We're "hanging out" with the "buddies".  Oi.  I love the action in this shot - there's just something about boys - they just can't seem to sit still.

See?  This is sitting still.  Notice the discomfort written all over their faces!

Okay, I can't help put throw in a disclaimer here.  These shots were all taken with my little point and shoot camera.  I love it's size, convenience, and ability to switch quickly to taking videos as well as still shots.  But seriously...every camera should at lease offer you the OPTION of setting your own shutter speed.  Drives me crazy.  Rant over.

Ben had a blast opening the gifts his friends brought him - building things, noisy things, and shooting things...that about sums it up! :-)

He's been after us for a guitar for about 6 months - looking forward to getting him some lessons now.

Ben had all sorts of ideas about what he wanted this birthday party to look like.  I wish someone would have told me last year that I was in the process of planning Ben's last "little kid" party!  He wanted just a handful of his best buddies, he wanted Dad to help them all make their own pizzas, he wanted donuts instead of cake, and he wanted to watch boy movies and have everyone sleep over.

What?  You don't want me to plan any games?  Make a special cake?  How about a pinata?!? 

I have to say - I just adore Ben's friends.  They're all such good, kind, and polite young men!  I hope he stays close to this circle of boys for a long time.

Does this look like a fun boy's party or what?

Luke just stuck a candle in one of the donuts, and we sang Happy Birthday.  Then we opened a few cans of frosting, pulled out the cookie crumbs and sprinkles, and let everyone go to town:

Dear Ben,


I'm so proud of you!  You've grown into such an incredibly kind, generous, gentle, fun, and smart young man in just 9 short years.  I'm so blessed to have the honor of being your mom and watching you grow.


You had a big year this year.  You saved for months to purchase your very own iPod - what an accomplishment!  You also did gymnastics, and we had such fun watching your confidence grow as you pushed yourself to try something new.  And of course, you've been an excellent student.  Your teachers have always told us that you're a great kid to have in class and that you're a "quiet leader" among your peers.


You're a tender-hearted boy, Ben.  I hope that as you grow in strength and courage your tenderness remains.  It's one of my favorite things about you {hug}.


One of the things I've enjoyed most in this past year has been watching your relationship with the Lord be tested and grow.  To hear you pray so honestly, openly, and with such devoted faith is one of my most treasured times each day.  He is with you each and every moment, Ben.  My greatest prayer for your life is that you stay tuned in to what He's telling you and that you have the courage to go where He leads. It seems impossible from my perspective...but He loves you even more than I do, and as long as you're in Him, you can be assured of a plan and a hope for your future!


Happy Birthday my sweet boy.  I love you with all my heart!


Love,
Mom

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I've Been Holding Out on You

I don't want to be one of THOSE friends.  You know, the friend who walks into a room and makes everyone cringe because they sense a hard-sell coming on...the friend who talks about nothing besides the new gidged/widget/miracle cream that they want you to buy from them.

That's why I've been holding out on you.  I haven't been up-front about what's been consuming my thoughts, my time, my sleep, exercise time, and my nutritious eating.  Heck, I feel like I can hardly spell lately.  Honestly...my spell-checker has been working over-time because my stuffed-to-overflowing, sleep deprived, and crazy excited brain just can't slow down enough to THINK.

It's this new business of mine.

I can NOT believe it, but here I am...solidly in the direct marketing world...someplace I honestly never even wanted to be!

This sounds terribly dramatic of me to say, but it's been (quite literally) a spiritual experience.  It's been learning to put one foot in front of the next and in a particular direction because it's what He says to do.  It's mustering up the courage to talk to people in an open and honest way when I used to prefer to just put my head down and get through the store/office/school/day.  I'm connecting with God and people in a brand new way because...well...I don't really know what the heck I'm doing, and it's wonderful!

I'm sure you've heard people say it before - it seems that a billion people before me have said that they find themselves closest to God when they get to the end of themselves.  When they have nothing else to give...when they don't know what to do...when they're in that proverbial foxhole...that's when they finally turn to God.  And lo-and-behold....a real and living and loving and powerful God actually shows UP!

The beauty of this journey for me lies directly in the fact that I started at a completely unknown place for me.  I started at my end.  My only option from day 1 was to turn to God and say "HELP!"  And lo-and-behold...God showed up for me too.

It felt sort of like I imagine jumping out of an airplane would feel.  Terrifying.  Thrilling.  Exhilarating.  Sort of like living for the first time, and hoping that this wonderful experience won't end with a giant *splat*, hoping with a desperate hope that the crazy parachute will open when I pull the chord.

But this time...the jump is my every morning.
I'm a little bit scared every single day.
It's thrilling.
Exhilarating.
And my parachute will not fail, because my parachute is none other that God Almighty!

"Really?", you must be thinking..."You're calling being a sales-lady a religious experience?  Sheesh.  Find a hobby."

If this were just any old product and any old opportunity, I'd agree with you :-)

But this is not just any product.  And this opportunity can change my family's financial future in a really big way.  I have gigantic dreams for this thing.  I mean HUGE.  Big like they're so big I'm afraid to say them out loud to anyone but God.  And do you know what?  It feels like He's smiling at me every time I pour out those dreams at His feet and say..."If you will, Lord, this is what I'm dreaming of.  I don't want to have not because I ask not, so I'm lying these dreams at your feet and asking for your very best in my life."

I'm asking BIG.

And do you know what?  When I ask big of my very big God?  It seems that I don't have a parachute for this jump at all.

I have wings...

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So Long, Old Friend

Dear Diapers,

It's been a good relationship, a useful relationship.

You've done a great job, and I thank you for your service.

We've been through a lot, you and I.  The thick, the...ahem...thin.  The stinky.

But after being inseparable for 9 solid (and not so solid) years, we're through.

I've moved on.  This little family of mine, we've grown.

Sadly (for you), there is no place for you here anymore.

Please don't take this the wrong way, but you will not be missed.

So this is it, Old Friend.  It is finally...

good. bye.

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Sweet Christmas Treat

Sorry, bloggie friends!  I have been so busy with home, kids, holiday prep, travel, and business.  Life in my little corner of the world is so rich and full!

Before the holidays are over, I just had to tell you quickly about a sweet little holiday treat I found.  They're called "Heart and Soul" candies, and are some incredibly delicious little chocolates.  My personal favorite is the dark chocolate, of course :-)

But the actual chocolate is only half of the story - each of these candies come wrapped with a message of Truth and Love.  The two...ahem...empty wrappers on my desk right now have their own little gift.  One says "And so we know and rely on the love God has for us" 1 John 4:16, and Grace and peace to you from God the Father" 1 Corinthians 1:3

Jesus AND chocolate in one little package - could there be anything better?!

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Thanksgiving 2010

We woke up on Thanksgiving to a dusting of snow on the ground, and very cold temps - perfect for fast snow down our back hill!

My first order of business was making pies.  One traditional apple, one crumb topped apple, and one pumpkin.  Yum-O.  I love Clara's little turkey.  She was our resident Thanksgiving decorator this year:-)

My wonderful husband likes to fry the turkey each year.  Something about submerging an entire bird in gallons of boiling oil that just makes him happy :-)

I love an opportunity to pull out the good china.

Clara also made us all napkin rings...along with a note on everyones plate saying that she'd like to give us a kiss.  I was touched that I got two notes...

My Grandma was on my mind as I mashed potatoes (always my job at her house), and as I filled her apple bowl with green beans and corn.  I also thought of her as I quickly cut the apples for the pie.  I could almost hear her voice saying, "Ach!  You're wasting so much apple.  Slow down and cut more carefully!" :-)

The bird is done!  Look at that good lookin' turkey!  And the bird - look at the bird! ;-)

We got to celebrate wit a couple of our favorite people.  We're so blessed!

Oops - these are out of order - they belong at the top with the sledding pics (and I'm too lazy to move everything around right now).  Look at my cute little man getting un-bundled from his sledding adventures...

These pictures aren't from Thanksgiving DAY...but are from Thanksgiving vacation.  WE MADE POTICA!  Potica (poh-teet-zha) is a traditional bread made by my dad's side of the family for generations.  I LOVE making it, but we never do because you're supposed to fill it with a mixture that includes walnuts or pecans, and Clara is terribly allergic to tree nuts.  We experimented this year with a potica recipe we found that had cream cheese as a filling (blech), and we did another with ground sunflower seeds instead of nuts (YUM).  It was so fun to share the potica tradition with my children!

My Dad's old recipe with his handwriting, and a few of my husband's hand-written notes.  It's funny how little things like this are so precious to me.

Pardon the hair.  This is what happens when I take a shower right before bed - I have clean, but crazy, hair the next day.  My kids were good enough to call me the 'mad scientist' all day.

Ha!  Oops!  Another sledding picture - filled with neighborhood kids.  It's sort of a good representation of our lives anyway...life happening with kids running in and out from all over the place.  Happy sledding season!

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