Giggles

The frequent highlight of my days...Thomas belly laughs :-) This kid is (almost) always happy, and I love his little laugh. May you always be joyful, my sweet boy!

(Thomas was asking to watch "Cars" on the computer by making his little 'vvv vvvv' sound. I was saying "no" in as many interesting ways as I could think to get him laughing.)

Find more "Just for the Joy of it" here.

Read more...

Cousins

Sometimes I can hardly believe that God gave me a little girl to raise (never mind TWO!). Here's Clara (on the left) with her cousin on the day of Clara's birthday party. What a couple of beauties, eh?

We've already begun construction on the cell we're going to lock her in until she's 23 or so. We figure she can communicate with her peers via the internet and webcam. This way, she can be kept safely away from the boys until she's mature enough to emerge from her cell to marry the nice Christian man we've chosen for her.

I'm nothing if not prepared ;-)

Read more...

Peace Offering

A low res and spontaneous shot taken with the high tech gadget that is the computer's camera for grandparents who have been deprived of grandkid shots lately :-)

Read more...

Big Plans

As it turns out, 2 adults working a combined 3 jobs while raising 4 kids and keeping a house in reasonable order is a tall and very BUSY order.

I'm working on getting back to the basics today. For me, that means reading one more book to my little ones than I did yesterday (so...one book), helping my hard working man on a project while he's working his day job, pressing and starching a few work shirts for my handsome guy, and fixing a hot meal for dinner that doesn't involve opening a can of condensed cream of anything.

They're not gonna know what hit 'em!

I recently told the Lord that I'm gonna trust him, but I'm so darn scared because I just don't know what he has in store for me. I'm a planner...blindly leaning on someone for everything to come (no matter how infinitely competent they are) just isn't in my nature. He seemed to accept my feeble offering...even smiled and me...and do you know what he whispered softly to my trembling little heart?

"I have a plan, yes. A plan to prosper you and not to harm you."

What a gift. I'm clinging to that promise and enjoying my abundantly blessed life today.

PS. My trick for a beef stew that has a little extra zip? A few dashes of worcestershire sauce and one 12 oz can of low sodium V8 juice. Yum!

Read more...

I'm Great!

After hearing from several very sweet and concerned friends because of my last post, I feel the need to clarify. I'm not down at all! I'm better than ever!

Feeling my real and humble place before God is a GOOD thing.

Getting a little glimpse of the glory of God is an even BETTER thing.

Knowing that all things are possible with Him in my life and that He loves little me is the BEST thing!

I feel peace and joy and....an unexplainable.... wholeness. It's unlike anything I've ever experienced, and it's incredible. Truly, God does amazingly good things with suffering, and I'm living proof. I wouldn't take an ounce of pain back for anything in the world because it revealed a bit more of Him - the greatest gem of all.

Read more...

God's Wisdom...Man's Foolishness

I've had a tiny problem lately.

Now that God has given me a tiny sliver of a glimpse of his Awesome Mightiness, I've also seen myself more clearly. I'm left feeling like a tiny speck of nothingness. I mean NOTHINGNESS. How can I look to God and feel like I am anything at all? I can't.

I've been struggling lately with feeling overwhelmingly down on myself. Too ordinary, too boring, too big, too ugly, too inadequate, not enough of what I should be with nothing of value to offer anyone. And worse yet, I've felt like I have nothing to offer God. How can God love me or want anything to do with me?

These thoughts have had me paralyzed.

Through all of this, I've seen clearly just how I've bought into one of the greatest lies of all...the oh-so-popular teaching of having "self-confidence." Heck, there are entire sections of bookstores and libraries filled with "self-help" books designed to boost our self-confidence and ability to live our best life!

Self confidence? Confidence in myself when I'm made of dirt? MY best life...when I've seen a bit of the hands who fashioned me? Confidence in my ability to be a great wife and mother when I'm so selfish? Confidence in my abilities, when they're a gift and not really of me at all? Confidence in my ability to do anything grand with my life at all...when I can't even seem to bring myself to stop shoving food into my mouth when I'm full?! Impossible!

Me.

I.

Self.

Mine.

UGH.

It's easy to fall into a dark slump of discouragement and disappointment in the revealing light of God's glory. Lord...what are you trying to tell me? Surely, you didn't bring me to this pit to leave me here?

On the other hand, I am not called to feel lousy about myself. I'm called to a joyous, peaceful, prosperous life (prosperous by God's standards, not ours). In fact, I am called to be confident... bold even!

How can I reconcile my calling to be joyful and peaceful with the realization that I'm but a withering blade of grass...here today and gone tomorrow? How to be both properly humble before God AND joyous and confident?

If I look at this dilemma from a purely logical standpoint, it just doesn't seem to fit. Something is wrong. Something is missing. On my face in fear before God, and yet confident? Humble, yet bold? Mourning my sin filled nature, and yet joyous?

Do you see it? Do you see what's wrong? Either I misunderstand who God is, I misunderstand who I am, or I misunderstand how I am to live.

There is only one conclusion...and it's been in right under my nose all this time! Truly, some things are of a spiritual nature and I need the help of the Spirit to make it clear to me.

God is mighty and awesome...the source of all good things.

I am made of dirt and fashioned by God. I have nothing good in me except what He's seen fit to put in me.

And so...I am humble AND confident.

I am grieved AND joyous.

I am empty AND filled beyond measure.

I am ugly AND beautiful.

I have nothing to offer AND everything to offer.

Oh, I'm not getting these thoughts out straight!

The bottom line is this:

I am aware of my insignificance as my natural self. But now that God...GOD ALMIGHTY...is working in and through me, I am completely significant. I can shout from the rooftops: "I AM BEAUTIFUL, TALENTED, WONDERFUL" without even a hint of pride or arrogance...because I recognize that I am beautiful, talented, and wonderful only because of God's work in me.

I am confident in His ability.

I am bold because the Spirit of God's own Truth lives in me.

I am beautiful because the very hands of God Almighty made me just like this. In fact, to proclaim that I am ugly and nothing is for me to turn to God and say "Hey, you're doing a lousy ugly job."

(Have you noticed how God's truths are so often the opposite of what we've been taught to be true? This is no different...to say that I am beautiful is humility in the light of God's work in me...to say that I am ugly is prideful because I assume the position of having control of my own beauty! I am GOD'S work.)

I don't only have "something" to offer the world...I have *everything* to offer because God is working through me and HE has everything to offer.

And finally...how can God love me? How can he want anything to do with me when I'm a pile of worthless clay? When I have nothing to offer him?

This is the BEST part...are you ready for this?

God does not love me because of who I am. He loves me because of who HE is.

Like a mother who loves her child before the little one can do anything grand with his life...before he can even utter a word of his love for her...before his eyes are mature enough to even properly see his mothers face...even while he is making a mess in his diaper! She loves him and nurtures him and cares for him because it is a natural part of who she is as his mother.

So it's true that I don't have anything to offer God, and yet he loves me.

I haven't done anything to earn his blessings, and yet he blesses me.

I am vulnerable and unable to save myself from destruction, and yet he saves me.

Not because it's in my nature to deserve his love, blessings, and salvation....Because it's in his nature to love, bless, and save.

Praise God, oh my soul!

PS. God has worked mighty things in me lately. How, you ask? Why now? I'll tell you how - he brought me to the fearful brink of unbelief by taking a child from her parents. Her name is Ruthie Mae Sanders...and the work that God is doing in my life is a small part of her legacy. Thank you, Ruthie.

Read more...

Believe Me, You Want to See More...

Click on over to my photography blog to see more of this little beauty!

Read more...

Just...Here.

Hello. My name is Daiquiri, have we met?

I haven't been blogging much...thought I'd better re-introduce myself ;-)

What's going ON with me? I used to use all my mental effort to restrain myself...to remove my fingers from the keyboard after 2 or 3 posts PER DAY. Crazy!

And now, I just have this peaceful quietness that's settled over my life, and I guess I just don't have that much to write about. I'm just...here.

It's not that I don't have much to say - quite the contrary. God is amazing. God is awesome. I've felt and lived these facts like never before. But do you want to hear me gush on and on about God? I have to think you're tired of hearing from me on this topic!

On the other hand, how do I not write about him? He's where I'm from...where I am...where I'm going.

He's my joy and peace and strength. The highlight of my days is cranking up the worship music, sitting on the floor, and just singing and crying (for joy) my eyes out! He is in 87% (give or take a point) of my thoughts, and I can feel him moving in me. I can feel myself giving in...surrendering...that number will be closer to 100% with each passing moment. And I love that :-)

I've found that something else comes with drawing nearer to God - an overwhelming sense that I don't know nuthin' about nuthin'! I'm the type of person who loves to figure things out and see how things work together. And when I see the pieces fall into place, I love to talk about what I've discovered. Blogging is a great way to share.

But now? Now that I'm sitting here with Almighty God, my silly little thoughts just seem to melt away. All I can seem to muster up is a quiet, awe inspired voice choked with love and gratitude that says,

Look at Him...just look at Him!

To be honest, I've wondered lately if I should continue blogging at all.

I look around the blogging world and I see so many talented and enthusiastic writers. They have enormous list of followers and subscribers. They're making real money in selling advertising. They're, by most standards, successful bloggers. I have to wonder...what am I doing here?

What are my intentions here? My goals. It's never been about followers or subscribers or money...well, okay...if I'm being honest, there WAS a time when it was about those things. I'd check my stat counter daily, I obviously run ads in this space, and I get a little thrill when I see a new follower. Where is the eye-rolling emoticon? I need a giant one of those right...

HERE.

My main goal though, is simply to share a little bit of my life...my faith, my struggles, my pictures :-) After all, there's only one me in the whole wide world. Maybe, just maybe, someone will be blessed by what I write here. Maybe someone will even come to know Jesus a little better.

And I keep coming back to my kids. Can you imagine what a treasure it would be to you if you had a journal like this from your mom, grandma, or great-grandma? A little journal filled with her personal stories and photos? Oh, what I would give for the ability to have my grandma's story on paper!

So I'll keep writing here. And I'll try not to be too bothered by the fact that at this moment I have 59 "followers", when I had 60 just yesterday (who are you, what did I say, why did you go??) ;-)

And if history repeats itself, which it seems determined to always do...I'll be struggling with fear and faith and surrender again in roughly 4.2 seconds. I'll come here to talk all about it, and then to share the incredibleness of the whole thing when my feeble faith is propped back up by my gracious (and SO patient) Jesus.

That's it for today. I'm off to finish my coffee, get my little ones dressed (hopefully before noon), straighten the house, and then process some photos from a shoot I did yesterday of a super-precious 2 week old little girl.

Have a great day, everyone!

Read more...

My Girl

My Dear Sweet Clara,

Happy Birthday! How on earth are you 7 years old already? My goodness...the joy of watching you grow sure makes time fly. It seems that it was just 3 minutes ago that you and I were sitting in the front yard waiting for your Daddy to drive up. I took this picture of you because I thought you were so darn cute with your little pig-tails :-)

One of your favorite things lately is for me to tell you stories of when you were a little baby - here are a few that you might like to remember forever...

Your Daddy knew you and your heart from the first moment that he heard you were on the way. We were at Yaya and Papa's cottage in Wisconsin, when I learned that you were on your way into our family and hearts. Daddy was golfing at the time, and I could hardly contain my excitement to tell someone my exciting news...I wanted to tell Daddy first, but I just couldn't wait. So, when you big brother woke from his nap, I told him "You're going to be a big brother!" Since he was only 6 months old, I knew I could count on him to keep my wonderful secret :-)

When Daddy came back from golf, I asked him to take a walk with me. I had a little box wrapped up in my pocket. It contained a very special test I'd taken earlier (kinda gross, now that I think about it, but I guess I wasn't very clear-headed at the time...and I double bagged it in a ziploc bag!). We took a stroll down the road, and we turned up a little dirt path called "Tipetts Lane". It was under the shade trees on that dirt road that I pulled a little box wrapped with a bow from my pocket and gave it to your Daddy (he told me later that he thought for sure it was sunglasses since he was missing his!!). He opened it. He closed it. He opened it again. He looked carefully. Without looking at me (but with a grin on his face), he said, "two lines means pregnant, right?"

"Well...YEAH!!"

And his response...I'll never forget the sparkle in his eye and the joy in his voice as he said "We finally get our Clara Rose!" And he hugged and kissed me so tenderly...and then he lifted me off the ground with the joy of YOU in our lives!

That was one of my best days.

And then, a few months later, came one of my worst days.

We went to the doctor for our first ultrasound. The doctor scanned and scanned and scanned. There you were...we could see you...that tiny little speck. But there was no sign of the heartbeat that should have been there. The doctor was not encouraging in any way. She simply said, "It looks like everything has developed to proper stage based on how far along you are. There should certainly be a heartbeat, but there isn't. I'm so sorry. Come back in one week for confirmation."

Confirmation?

The next seven days were the longest of my life. We already loved you so...

And then, one day, your Daddy came home with a peaceful smile on his face. "Everything is going to be fine", he reported. I must have looked at him like he had 2 heads! He told an amazing story:

He had been walking out of the office that afternoon. As he walked, a delicate and beautiful butterfly fluttered across his path, and seemed to be there just for him. Time stood still as the butterfly seemed to hang in the air in front of him, as if to say "do you see me? " The sight of that butterfly brought a wash of peace to your Daddy. It was his message from heaven. Our baby...you...were going to be just fine.

And then, another of my best days.

The doctor scanned my belly, and said "I can't believe it!" And then she turned the monitor for us to see for ourselves...your heart beating strong and true. Praise God!

It wasn't long before your strong legs were beating me up from the inside out - you were always incredibly strong! I love that about you :-)

On the day of your birth, you Daddy gave me a beautiful Lladro piece...a delicate and gorgeous butterfly...to remind us of the promise of YOU. I'll treasure it forever.

Well, I had lots of other stories to tell you, but they'll have to wait for another time or this note will go on forever!

You've grown into an amazing young lady, Clara. I'm thoroughly blessed and proud to be your Mommy. You're beautiful, with those gorgeous green eyes, sweet freckles on your nose, and dimpled smile. You're smart as can be - always asking questions and figuring things out and doing your best. You're feisty - in your more ornery moments your Daddy likes to call you "DJ" for "Daiquiri Junior" {sigh}. It's hard being such a passionate young woman, I know this first hand! But it will serve you well if you can learn to use your powers for good rather than for evil! ;-) And some day, you'll find a man who will say that your feistiness is his favorite thing about you. And if you find someone who says he doesn't like it? Kick 'em in the shins and find someone else!!

But sweetie, my favorite thing about you is your tender and kind heart. You have a way of loving like no one else! You're a good person, way down deep in your heart. You're considerate, sweet, helpful...I just love to see how you care so much for the people in your life. Jesus tells us to love one another, and you seem to have a natural gift to do this. I'm so proud of you!

You are one of the greatest blessings in my life - my first daughter. Please know that I will always love you, always believe in you, always be proud of you....and I'll always have your back if you need help kicking any shins! ;-)

Happy Birthday precious girl.

Love,

Mommy

PS. I don't want to forget this great day - we got up and met Grandpa Jim at Krispy Kreme for fresh donuts first thing this morning. Then, we came home and you opened your presents. You were excited to be able to wear your new earrings, so we cleaned them up and you wore "fancy earrings" for the first time since having your ears pierced. Then, Grandma Bernie came over to watch the little ones while you, Ben, Daddy, and I went to "Alvin and the Chipmunks: The Squeakwell" It was a great day! We'll be celebrating some more next weekend when Yaya and Papa come in to town, and we have a "heart" party (since it's on Valentine's Day) with about 15 of your closest friends!

Read more...

Nothing Extraordinary

"You're not writing on your blog much lately", my Mom said recently.

I know! My problem is that I just don't have a whole lot to say. My little life is just so... ordinary.

I'm not complaining - ordinary is good. It just doesn't offer much material for writing. My sister in law keeps telling me I should write a book. To that, I say

HAHAAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

But I do appreciate her encouragement. In fact, I think I might save up some money and have this blog printed and bound. It's just my ordinary day ramblings, but oh, what a treasure it would be if I had my own Mom or Grandma's ordinary day ramblings!

It's a sick day around here today. Clara was up all night coughing, so Luke announced this morning "Clara's staying home today". Sammy's been fighting the same cough for days. And my sweet little Thomas keeps running to grab a kleenex so I can wipe his nose for him. I guess it's better than him using his sleeve.

We're in that odd in-between place where they shouldn't go to school, but they're perfectly energetic enough to bicker all. day. long.

And Clara, she's energetic enough to want to help me with everything...on her terms. "Mom, can I dust?"

"Sure, but I'd like you to dust the baseboards. They haven't been done in a long time, but I just did the furniture a day ago."

"I don't want to do the baseboards."

"Well, if you want to help, that's what I'd like your help with."

"Ummm, my tummy hurts."

Uh huh.

Thank goodness for the little stick vac that kept Clara and Thomas busy for almost 45 minutes! There's something about that kid-sized vacuum that inspires kids to get into all sorts of cracks and crevices.

And at some point during their sweep of the laundry room, Thomas decided that the washer needed some attention. So HE CLIMED IN IT.

"MOMMEEEE! Thomas is stuck in the washing machine!!"

(much grunting and screeching flows forth from the direction of the laundry room)

And, of course, being the doting Mama that I am, I dashed straight to the laundry room to rescue him...(ahem)...after pausing for just a moment to grab the camera.

He'd gotten out by the time I made it there.

"Thomas! Don't climb in the washer, you could hurt yourself, okay? And if you do get in there again, you make sure to holler for Mommy...so I can (take your picture and) get you out (almost) immediately!"

Hey - I've gotta have my entertainment too...not to mention plenty of bribery material for his dare-devil teenage years. Oi. If I manage to get that kid to 18 in one piece, it will be a miracle straight from Heaven! :-)

I'm off - the dishes and laundry call. And hey, I have a brave friend who's venturing into this fog of germs to come have lunch with me! I warned her that she's taking her nasal health into her own hands by coming, but she will not be deterred. I'm thankful :-)

Have a great day everyone!

Read more...

Baby Fever {Sneak Peek}

(try clicking on images to enlarge)

I did a photo shoot yesterday with one of the sweetest and most beautiful families I've ever met! I knew it was going to be fun, when I was met at the door by these amazing little eyes:

I wasn't mistaken either - walking in to their gorgeous home made me feel as if I was stepping into the studio of my dreams with it's rich colors, fun patterns and accessories, and loads of natural light (when I build my first studio, I'm totally calling you Jessica...for your help and a list of stores where you shop!). I said a quiet prayer of thanks as I looked around.

The home was beautiful and peaceful, which was a perfect reflection of the amazing family who lives there:

This little angel stole my heart with his tiny fingers and perfect mouth. He was such a good sport to model so sweetly for me.

As I processed this shot, I just kept thinking "texture". I love the smooth clean and crisp lines of the un-textured piece, but how cool does this texture look?! :

Thank you for your patience and for blessing me with your business, wonderful family!

Stay tuned for the rest of your gallery in the next week or so.

Read more...

Quotable Quote

Sammy: "Mama, when I was sleepin' I hear Jesus talkin' and he had his loud voice on."

Me: "What? Really? What was he saying?"

"He was talkin' to Clara"

"What was he saying to her?"

"He just said CLARA! But she didn't her him."

Okay...well, I've frequently prayed for the Lord to call my children in a way that was irresistible to them. I just never knew it meant he'd have "his loud voice on." :-)

Read more...