>> Friday, February 12, 2010 – Random Thoughts
Hello. My name is Daiquiri, have we met?
I haven't been blogging much...thought I'd better re-introduce myself ;-)
What's going ON with me? I used to use all my mental effort to restrain myself...to remove my fingers from the keyboard after 2 or 3 posts PER DAY. Crazy!
And now, I just have this peaceful quietness that's settled over my life, and I guess I just don't have that much to write about. I'm just...here.
It's not that I don't have much to say - quite the contrary. God is amazing. God is awesome. I've felt and lived these facts like never before. But do you want to hear me gush on and on about God? I have to think you're tired of hearing from me on this topic!
On the other hand, how do I not write about him? He's where I'm from...where I am...where I'm going.
He's my joy and peace and strength. The highlight of my days is cranking up the worship music, sitting on the floor, and just singing and crying (for joy) my eyes out! He is in 87% (give or take a point) of my thoughts, and I can feel him moving in me. I can feel myself giving in...surrendering...that number will be closer to 100% with each passing moment. And I love that :-)
I've found that something else comes with drawing nearer to God - an overwhelming sense that I don't know nuthin' about nuthin'! I'm the type of person who loves to figure things out and see how things work together. And when I see the pieces fall into place, I love to talk about what I've discovered. Blogging is a great way to share.
But now? Now that I'm sitting here with Almighty God, my silly little thoughts just seem to melt away. All I can seem to muster up is a quiet, awe inspired voice choked with love and gratitude that says,
Look at Him...just look at Him!
To be honest, I've wondered lately if I should continue blogging at all.
I look around the blogging world and I see so many talented and enthusiastic writers. They have enormous list of followers and subscribers. They're making real money in selling advertising. They're, by most standards, successful bloggers. I have to wonder...what am I doing here?
What are my intentions here? My goals. It's never been about followers or subscribers or money...well, okay...if I'm being honest, there WAS a time when it was about those things. I'd check my stat counter daily, I obviously run ads in this space, and I get a little thrill when I see a new follower. Where is the eye-rolling emoticon? I need a giant one of those right...
My main goal though, is simply to share a little bit of my life...my faith, my struggles, my pictures :-) After all, there's only one me in the whole wide world. Maybe, just maybe, someone will be blessed by what I write here. Maybe someone will even come to know Jesus a little better.
And I keep coming back to my kids. Can you imagine what a treasure it would be to you if you had a journal like this from your mom, grandma, or great-grandma? A little journal filled with her personal stories and photos? Oh, what I would give for the ability to have my grandma's story on paper!
So I'll keep writing here. And I'll try not to be too bothered by the fact that at this moment I have 59 "followers", when I had 60 just yesterday (who are you, what did I say, why did you go??) ;-)
And if history repeats itself, which it seems determined to always do...I'll be struggling with fear and faith and surrender again in roughly 4.2 seconds. I'll come here to talk all about it, and then to share the incredibleness of the whole thing when my feeble faith is propped back up by my gracious (and SO patient) Jesus.
That's it for today. I'm off to finish my coffee, get my little ones dressed (hopefully before noon), straighten the house, and then process some photos from a shoot I did yesterday of a super-precious 2 week old little girl.
Have a great day, everyone!